The big question--What makes parent so fruity when it comes to softball?

[obbay]

Lot's of good responses here.
I would add to the "it's not just softball" discussion. A hockey parent was killed in an altercation during a youth hockey game in the next town over from me. A few years ago, an officer from our L.L. board of directors was suspended because her son got in a fight after a game, and she was seen not only cheering on the kid in the fight, but kicking the other kid when he was down (both boys were 12 or under). I am currently coaching my 10 Y.O. DD basketball team (rec league, 3rd and 4th grade) and a few weeks ago she was covering a girl who kept hitting her when no one was looking (even throwing elbows during timeouts), all the while being cheered on by mothers on the sidelines (I didn't see this, I found out after the game). I was watching another game and got to see the mothers doing it first hand (their team wound up losing both games).

On the other hand, I'm very proud of kids I see who are good kids, put up with the embarassment of their loudmouth parents, play with good sportsmanship and win or lose walk away from the field with their heads held high..

To me this all underscores the importance of quality coaching. Lead by example and show the kids how to take the high road.

 

[jaguars2010]

Very good posts! Has anyone asked the kid if they even want to play the sport? Obbay, you make a great point, there is a need for quality coaching. I have coached at the rec, travel and HS varsity levels and have seen the "crazy" parent at each. I coached my DD (now playing college ball) and the other players I have coached to understand that each and every player on the team is as important as the next player and that each player brings something special to the team. The quality of coaching is lacking in the travel game because there is no monitoring. You pay your fee and you can coach. Many travel coaches are in it to boost their egos, to build their records. They recruit players to play so they have the very best team. They fill these parents heads with pipe dreams of their kid getting a scholarship to college (after the parent pays big $'s). There are very few scholarships for the 1000's of softball players out there. My DD daughter is living HER dream of going to college and playing softball and yes she was fortunate to receive a scholarship for her ACADEMICS!
It's a game folks so let the kids play.

 

[StacieM]

hehe - it's either that or they "know it all" (and better than any coach)

Today's parents are so completely involved in their child's life, they don't know how to let their kids battle for themselves.

Totally true. The school I coach at has a policy that coaches don't discuss playing time with parents. We went over that at a parent meeting and I did stress however that we have been and will always continue to encourage the players to come to us with any questions or concerns they have about anything that's going on with the team.

A parent of a JUNIOR asked. "What happens if a player doesn't have that ability to approach the coaches and raise their concerns?"

Uh - yeah, exactly!!!!! These players are in high school. Soon they will be going on to college or the "real world" - often times they are asking their parents for the responsibility to make decisions in much bigger areas of their lives and have "control" over those things (going out with friends, relationships, etc, etc, etc) and yet they are unable to speak for themselves or take responsibility for their own experiences when it comes to a game?

We are trying to work with them on developing this life skill and parents get all worked up about it.
As a high school player I would have NEVER even thought to have my parents talk to my coach about playing time - I think I would have been embarrassed if they did that to be honest.