Team meeting

[Rocketech1]

5 Minute Rule!!! End on a positive! Make it a team thing and not an individual thing.

What I do = I hand out "burst" for those who did well. For example, I have single burst (team claps together one time in unison), double burst, (team claps two times in unison) and triple burst. (I think you get the point.) In that way, I can highlight the good teammates did and give players a goal to earn burst the next game. 5 MINUTES AND THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last year, DDs 12U coach would talk to the players for about 20 - 30 minutes after a long day at the fields. I'm sure the players were exhausted and nothing he said was retained by them by the time they got into the car. Complete waste of time. I like your 5 minute rule.

 

[Strike2]

Thanks for all the responses. I have to admit that this is still bothering me and DD.

I've decided that this is a case of the coaches asking the players to do their job. It's the coaches' responsibility to critique and coach, not the players. If you make players do it, it's like letting kids play with sharp knives. And they will target the ones that are safe. They won't confront their friend, or their enemy who will attack the back. It won't be about softball. It will be about preserving your place in the group. Maybe it will heal with time, but there is a part of DD that feels back-stabbed and wanting to find better teammates.

Generally, teenage girls are like the plot of Game of Thrones; backstabbing, changing alliances, and nonstop angling to improve their standing. On most every team, there's someone you won't get along with. Unless the entire team is set against her, teach her how to deal with it. My kid is on a MS team with kids from several different schools and travel teams. For the most part, the team atmosphere is pretty good, but there are some occasional trouble spots. The coaches could do a bit better job of controlling the stronger personalities, but I've used it to teach DD about how to deal with troublesome people. Sometimes, she lets it go, and sometimes, she pushes back. It's been a good learning experience.

 

[The Maj]

Obviously, you already know this but you have a coaching problem with that team. Given the opportunity and leeway, most teenage girls will stray and get frustrated, burn out and get lazy... They know who makes the mistakes and honestly, the last mistake is usually what they will remember and that will be the mistake that cost the game even though there are tons of other mistakes that led up to that point... I would definitely want the other players pushing and encouraging each other in a positive manner but there is no way players should be encouraged to ridicule other players... A coach should never single out a player in a meeting either, unless the player happens to be disrupting that meeting... If there is an issue with errors or attitude, it should be handled one on one with the coach and player, especially at 16U. Things like this really frustrate me but I do not believe I have ever seen a team that did not have some type of drama... Parents especially suck and in most cases when you hear a player bad mouthing another player it is because the parent has bad mouthed the player in front of their child or where their child can hear it...

 

[Nimrod]

The coaches could do a bit better job of controlling the stronger personalities, but I've used it to teach DD about how to deal with troublesome people. Sometimes, she lets it go, and sometimes, she pushes back. It's been a good learning experience.

Parents especially suck and in most cases when you hear a player bad mouthing another player it is because the parent has bad mouthed the player in front of their child or where their child can hear it...

These are two very wise comments. Thank you!

 

[Nimrod]

And when it comes to parents criticizing a player, I think it isn't just what is said, but how it is said.

I also am guilty of giving my daughter an honest critique of another player, but it's never with an attitude of disgust or dislike. In this case for example I have told her that she has teammates who are immature and haven't learned yet how to be leaders. There weren't being malicious. I didn't say her teammates were a bunch of jerks. They were doing what they thought was best for the team, even though in my opinion it was only destructive. And I NEVER blame another player. Her teammates are a work in progress just like DD. I tell her what I like about certain players and what I think would make them better. I think it encourages DD to be analytical about herself and the game in general. I'm pretty sure that my DD has never complained about or criticized another player in the presence of a teammate. I'm proud of that. She needs to learn to be more assertive and be a stronger personality. That is partly why 2 balls dropped last week. She did not take charge. She needs to be like some of the stronger personalities in that regard. And many of her teammates need to be more like DD when it comes to attitude and effort.

 

[dbronstein]

Last year, DDs 12U coach would talk to the players for about 20 - 30 minutes after a long day at the fields. I'm sure the players were exhausted and nothing he said was retained by them by the time they got into the car. Complete waste of time. I like your 5 minute rule.

I agree. Our baseball HC last season was big on the postgame talks (14U). I asked DS if anyone actually paid attention, and he replied with a very strong "nope".

 

[Greenmonsters]

One of the dilemmas with an advanced level team is that positions and playing time ultimately are based on performance. A player who has a great attitude and works harder than anyone else may still be considered and treated as a weak link if her performance isn't at the same level as her teammates even if those teammates have bad attitudes, don't work as hard, don't care etc. Whether its on the field, in the classroom, work, etc. it is a results based world.

 

[dadofadirtlover]

When the eyes of your players glaze over, you might as well shut up at that point because nothing else is going to get through to them until time and space have separated you and them.

 

[Nimrod]

When the eyes of your players glaze over, you might as well shut up at that point because nothing else is going to get through to them until time and space have separated you and them.

In this case, DD was able to hear me through her tears. But I agree that time to let emotions settle down helps everyone see things more clearly.

One of the dilemmas with an advanced level team is that positions and playing time ultimately are based on performance. A player who has a great attitude and works harder than anyone else may still be considered and treated as a weak link if her performance isn't at the same level as her teammates even if those teammates have bad attitudes, don't work as hard, don't care etc. Whether its on the field, in the classroom, work, etc. it is a results based world.

That is a good point. Then if the feedback is a suprise, I think it is also important for the player (or worker or student) to reality check. So this is what a group of teammates, co-workers, fellow students thought in the heat of the moment. What does my coach, employer or teacher think?