Real interest or being played to fill a camp?

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Jan 15, 2020
18
3
DD is a sophomore and has no idea where she wants to go to school or what she wants to major in apart from it being in the medical field. It surprises me at the number of young women who seem to have life figured out at that age and know where they want to study and where they want to do it. I doubt many actually do and DD is more typical.

DD is the primary catcher on a second year 16u team that has been invited to play in the 2023 National championship PGF in CA July 21-29 at the Premier level. We just learned of the invitation last week, so it's all new to me. In H.S., she backs up a catcher who committed to play at a university in the Big East. Objectively, I believe she is "almost" as good as the HS catcher, but she's younger and therefore has less playing experience. Confidence in herself is her biggest roadblock. If anything, I sell her short, which causes conflict between my wife and I.

I'd like to see DD get the best education she can for the lowest cost. If softball can help her do that, great, but that means playing D1 or D2. I've been putting money in a 529 since she was an infant and will be able to pay for half of her education at a state university. Most state universities here are D3, and I'm perfectly fine with her playing at level, or not playing at all if that's what she wants to do
 
Jan 15, 2020
18
3
I didn't see any assumptions being made about you. Without knowing your situation (other than what you presented), people need to talk in generalities 🤷‍♂️
After thinking about what I wrote, I decided I may have misinterpreted a reply, so deleted that part. You replied quickly enough to see the unedited post.
 
Feb 7, 2014
524
43
It sounds like you and your DD have a lot of things figured out...

529
top tier team
an understanding of the landscape

My take is that there's a great deal of opportunity out there beyond D1 or D2. Enjoy the journey, the confidence will come in time.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
1,996
113
I'd like to see DD get the best education she can for the lowest cost. If softball can help her do that, great, but that means playing D1 or D2. I've been putting money in a 529 since she was an infant and will be able to pay for half of her education at a state university. Most state universities here are D3, and I'm perfectly fine with her playing at level, or not playing at all if that's what she wants to do

JUCOs have more softball scholarship money "cap room" than anyone else. I know some very average players now on a JUCO roster. A strong player immediately stands out. The trade-off is that you might run into course quality and transfer issues when moving to the four-year.

What kind of student is she? If the answer is "average", then the JUCO might be the right academic fit. OTOH, if she's got a good academic resume, then you may find some private D1s a better deal than your state university. Given your financial preparation, find the right school, and you might not need softball money. Thankfully, I grossly underestimated the academic scholarship money my kids would eventually get from both the school and outside sources.
 
Sep 17, 2009
1,642
83
I would tend to assume an email, even personalized, is a bit of of a blast -- trying to draw as many kids in as possible. A coach that WANTS you is going to go a more personal route and press the issue a bit more. That said, nothing wrong with an invite. Catch their eye there and the interactions may just become more personal. Good luck.
 
May 27, 2013
2,050
113
DD is a sophomore and has no idea where she wants to go to school or what she wants to major in apart from it being in the medical field. It surprises me at the number of young women who seem to have life figured out at that age and know where they want to study and where they want to do it. I doubt many actually do and DD is more typical.

DD is the primary catcher on a second year 16u team that has been invited to play in the 2023 National championship PGF in CA July 21-29 at the Premier level. We just learned of the invitation last week, so it's all new to me. In H.S., she backs up a catcher who committed to play at a university in the Big East. Objectively, I believe she is "almost" as good as the HS catcher, but she's younger and therefore has less playing experience. Confidence in herself is her biggest roadblock. If anything, I sell her short, which causes conflict between my wife and I.

I'd like to see DD get the best education she can for the lowest cost. If softball can help her do that, great, but that means playing D1 or D2. I've been putting money in a 529 since she was an infant and will be able to pay for half of her education at a state university. Most state universities here are D3, and I'm perfectly fine with her playing at level, or not playing at all if that's what she wants to do

So it sounds if it your dd does have a general idea of what type of “field” she’d like to get into - that’s a great start! That can help you eliminate some schools that are very major-specific (like D3 Babson here on the East coast which is a business school but has a great softball program). That’s more along the lines of what we mean by “narrowing down.”

Also - if she is a very good student - don’t discount D3’s that offer merit money. My ds received a merit scholarship at a D3 which will cut the full cost of college (tuition + room/board) down by over half for him.

Cast a wide net in the beginning. Look at all the different divisions - never discount a division until you have greatly narrowed down your options and offers made.
 
Jun 8, 2016
16,773
113
Look at all the different divisions - never discount a division until you have greatly narrowed down your options and offers made.
If you knew your DD wouldn't be happy with never seeing the field, and StanOU (eg the fictional school with Stanford's academics and OU's softball) came calling for whatever reason, what would you do? Do you spend the 1K it is going to take to go to a camp in Palo Norman from where you are located?

(and yes this is obviously an extreme example to make a point...).
 
Last edited:
Dec 16, 2010
172
18
If you knew your DD wouldn't be happy with never seeing the field, and StanOU (eg the fictional school with Stanford's academics and OU's softball) came calling for whatever reason, what would you do? Do you spend the 1K it is going to take to go to a camp in Palo Norman from where you are located?

(and yes this is obviously an extreme example to make a point...).
I love your fictional school.

I humbly suggest replacing Stanford with the Bates Bobcats.

Bates boasts high academics. Bates offers a much greater softball contrast to OU than Stanford.

Most importantly, your fictional camp visit can now take place at Norman Bates.
 
May 27, 2013
2,050
113
If you knew your DD wouldn't be happy with never seeing the field, and StanOU (eg the fictional school with Stanford's academics and OU's softball) came calling for whatever reason, what would you do? Do you spend the 1K it is going to take to go to a camp in Palo Norman from where you are located?

(and yes this is obviously an extreme example to make a point...).

What I personally would do after going through the process twice would be to try to gauge the interest further by trying to figure out how my dd got on their list. Ask our TB coach if they had heard something from this school. If contact seems legit and like I said - is doable - then we might entertain the camp. Dd attended camps starting in 8th grade (D1 and D2) just to get an idea of what they were like. These were camps local to us that were affordable.

Obviously if the interest is just a general “casting call” and would require a lot of money and effort to get to then, for me, it would be a no-go.

ETA: I pretty much had a good idea about which schools were serious or not based on knowing who dd had emailed and which coaches have attended our games.
 
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