Playing Down....need some help.

[coach james]

This is very normal... relax and let her be a kid for now since its just MS ball.

 

[CoogansBluff]

My youngest dd is 12, turning 13 soon, when she is playing to her abilities she is really good. The problem I having is when she plays for lesser teams (school ball), she plays down to their level. Lack of effort, sloppiness, and goofing way too much. Her JH coaches have never seen her at her top level and at her worst she is still one of the best out there. (She knows that too) JH will not be involved in high school ball, totally different coaching staff and she performs for the HS coach on his TB team. She catches for the start HS pitcher at pitching practice. I am realistic about sports, play to win and you are gonna lose some but the 1 thing I can't stand is lack of effort. Always do your best no matter how good or bad that is. Anyway, I have explained this many times and after last nights performance, I am lost as to what it takes or what I should do. Her mom doesn't get to make games often and last night she saw her play. My wife cried, it was that bad and that obvious, not blubbering but it hurt to watch her play like that. Seriously, all the way from throwing ball in the dirt to pitcher 15' away to missing easy warm up pop flies, not to mention ball from catcher hitting her glove and going to center field. Errored on last play of the game to give the win to other team. So have any of you ran into this before, how did you fix it? Is playing down with these girls affecting her game/mentality that much?

I think kids who play sports seriously (ie, play travel ball) need hobbies that allow them to relax and not have to give it their all. Not saying that school ball is the right avenue for it, but rather than trying to fix what's going on in school ball, it might be that what needs fixing is a lifestyle that doesn't give her enough opportunities to NOT be at her best. It's a lot of pressure on kids to ''always do your best'' at every waking hour. I can't say that this applies to your child, but I do think that there are a lot of Type A competitive parents that push their kids to win! win! win! all the time. If my child were goofing off in school ball, I wouldn't be hurt by it. I would just try to figure out what it means. Getting her to do her best would solve the parents' problem, but would it solve the kid's?

 

[Greenmonsters]

IMO, you are simply wasting your time if you are doing something that doesn't motivate you to do your best at it. My suggestion is to help your kids to discover those activities/hobbies that motivate them to do their best. If you are not seeing softball or any other activity bring that out of them, there is a strong possibility that, despite what our kids say or claim, the sport/activity isn't as important to them as we parents would like to believe. Make sure that your DD is playing SB for herself, not for dear old dad (or mom)!

 

[canyonjoe]

Let them play and have fun as long as it's not affecting club performance. You might not always see it but often the kids have to adjust to who the are playing with. If your pitcher is great but the MS catcher can't catch balls in the dirt they don't want to fire drop balls down there. On the club team you 1B can catch anything close, but the MS team can't so you might have to slow it down. It sucks, but when you are on a team you need to work with what you have. I think the kids are actually pretty good at adjusting.

 

[RubberBiscuit]

If she plays well on the tougher team and its not bringing her down,

I personally do not think this is possible. I fully believe you will play like ya practice if ya practice like ya play. I bet the lazy "slacker" play she exhibits in the less-competitive team bleeds over to the more competitive team.

"What does she want to do?"

Totally agree - this is premiere.
BUT - I warn you that these are kids we are talking about. They are learning their way in the world. They think so many things that are unrealistic. The DD in this story COULD have dreams of being D1 at the same time doing this lackadaisical behavior that will conflict with that other goal. Watch for this.... This is when we parents need to step in and be parents with helping kids make their way in this crazy world.

people are all thinking scholarships and is that realistic? I know I am not thinking that, but I am still pushing too hard, and am trying to figure out why.

Heck ya a scholarship is realistic! It sort of boils my blood when any youth just automatically writes-off an opportunity at a goal.

Now I am not going against mother nature here. There are some folks that are not meant for sports. BUT do you think Pete Rose or Mike Singletary or any other "top athlete with less than perfect raw sports skills" like them just automatically wrote off a potential dream? Heck NO.

If you are trying to figure out why you are feeling like you are pushing too hard you do not have that goal and therfore do not have the internal passion for it.....