Players missing games and practices. A new(ish) trend? Well, I DON'T LIKE IT!

[WB Coach]

So my 12U girls LL SB team is 2-3 going into today's DH and HC from our first opponent calls me this morning to say he doesn't have a legal lineup (minimum 7). Half his team cancelled the night before. Get that? So we win via forfeit for the first game.

Okay, fine. So we have an abbreviated team practice, instead. We walk to each base and discuss leading and stealing techniques. We talk about aggressive running and playing with purpose. I embarrass my two coaches because they can't answer the question, "why should our runner at third take her lead in foul territory and not on the baseline?" You shoulda seen the looks on their faces when I told them why. I love doing that to the ACs. Keeps them in line while keeping the team's illusion that I'm a great HC.

Anyhoo...time for game 2. The other team's coach informs me they have only 7 girls and one of them got HBP in their first DH game and may not be able to play. Since I know this girl very well I talk to her while she's at the concession stand waiting for her sour patch kids and tell her she has to play or all the girls on her team will hate her and spit David Sunflower Seeds at her.

My pep talk works and the game starts. Having fun, etc., then before the start of the 3rd inning (and after a right good spanking thanks to our base running), HC announces that they're done playing. Game over. Another forfeit. Line 'em up! "Good game, good game, good game!" (It wasn't a good game, just like it wasn't a good fight when Godzilla stepped on Bambi). Turns out the HBP girl didn't want to play anymore...because she WANTED TO GO SHOPPING WITH HER MOM!!!!!

Seriously, WTF??? Why can't people commit to a team anymore? Is it so hard to say "NO!" to your DD when she says she wants to play lacrosse, field hockey, basketball, Lego Challenge (let that one sink in for a few moments), and soccer....ALL AT THE SAME F**CKING TIME?

On one hand, I have to blame the parents. OTOH, I partially blame the coaches for setting a lax, zombie tone at the beginning of the season. I set a very strict tone right from the get-go and I group-text my team's parents often to keep in touch and remind them of practices and games and I react harshly to those who don't give proper notice, or no notice at all. One time I made a parent cry. That was a good day. But, seriously! Who spends this kind of money and continuously no-shows or takes it so nonchalantly? I've been AC for about 12 years and HC for the last one yr and I've never seen this kind of behaviour. I seriously would not be surprised if a parent called me up and said her little precious can't play today because there's a Maypole convention and she has to attend because she's the tallest!

Oh yeah...wouldn't it be great if the slow runners on the team got their cleats set on fire at first base and there was a fire extinguisher at second and the only way to put it out was to steal second?

Did I ever tell you guys that I was so frustrated one day that I went into the dugout during a game and bit into a softball and tore a chunk out and spit it at our third baseman? Okay, I didn't do that but there was a game I coached one day that was so bad it gave me pink eye.

Sorry for the venting...had to let that out. Please feel free to continue the rational and civilized softball discussions! Oh wait, yeah.....

 

[teammom2]

Let's start by saying, kudos to your humor! I can see that you are frustrated, but I love that you are still poking a little fun.

I also a agree that there should be a commitment made to the team. I have found though, that's easier said than done. We have had similar problems with missing girls. Thankfully we've never had to forfeit a game because of it, but we do have to schedule weekends around some players that are involved in other things. So far that has worked except for the occasional I want to go to a birthday party so I'm going to miss the 2nd game kinds of things. I've noticed softball seems to be the 1st thing that goes when a choice is forced. You have to pick soccer or softball. Soccer. You have to pick basketball or an indoor softball tournament. Basketball. Every. time.

Our situation is the way it is because we don't have a choice to some extent. We pull from a small town pool of players, we don't have the numbers or the possibility of numbers to really enforce a 100% commitment. We are lucky to have the players we have. That's somewhat changing as the girls get older and team shuffling is more common due to girls dropping out of softball and teams combining, etc.

So, I have no solutions or suggestions, just know, you're not alone!

 

[packhand]

Your post was funny! I have the same problem sometimes. My girls are getting to the age where softball isnt the cool sport anymore. There's soccer (which has tryouts for every single team), lacrosse and now basketball even in the spring and summer. Spring soccer now takes up 3 or 4 days a week in the spring! and if you dont play in the spring your spot is not guaranteed in the fall. Its nuts! Fall ball for us takes a back seat to other sports in fall but now soccer is trying to take over spring too!

As far as DH's goes. I think girls play LL or some rec program because they dont want to commit their entire weekend to SB. With that said, I do think you have to set the tone and you can still run a good LL program without DH's. We play 2 or 3 games a week and 1 or 2 practices. Alot of the teams we play, have TB girls so they dont want to play on weekends... So I will have a practice at 2 or 3 in afternoon when all the games are done and sometimes we practice for 2 or 2 1/2 hours...but its a little more relaxed... and im always willing to stay longer for the ones that want to... You would be surprised at the amount of reps you can get. Thats what its all about...reps.

Again the tone, you have to let them know what the teams goal is and where you stand on attendance... I always ask the girls first if there are going to be at a game or practice... So THEY know and are held accountable... You wont last as a program or a team if you dont get at aleast 9 girls buying in... If there are 3 other girls that sometimes show up... Well guess what? Bottom of the order and less playing time. 12 yrs old, IMO, is old enough to held accountable and know the consequences of skipping practice or a game.

 

[Hit by the Pitch]

If the players are having a good time and you are winning a little bit the Players will show up. At this age it can be a parent Issue getting players to where they need to be. It sounds like your Team is showing up, I am not sure how you fix the other Teams except maybe recommend bigger Rosters next year.

A lot of players seem awfully busy now a days with one thing or another. DD goes to Piano on Wednesday, if there is a practice that day she is to not going to be there. Other players have similar scheduling conflicts for other stuff. For the most part the HC knows about all this before the season starts.

The League has some safe guards in place to avoid forfeits but it relies on getting some advance notice. If players are calling the night before or the day of the game someone better be on their death bed.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Rec ball is it's own worst enemy. I have 4 girls that play on the same LL team (Majors) and they forfeited 2 games over the weekend.

One girl is injured, but one was out of town with her school team. The seasons over lap here, with charter schools. One was committed to the county fair and someone else was gone with her family.

A girl I was working with yesterday was lamenting the scheduling, as she practiced. School has gotten busier and there seems to be major projects being assigned. This is 6th grade. She and her classmates are finding it difficult to find a time that 4 people can get together to work on their project. Most of the work is done outside of school.

Teams with a bunch of girls from one school are always going to compete with graduation, assignments, school trips, and band concerts.

I can remember when softball was only after school was done for the year. Now, it is over by the first week of July.

 

[wichita]

Funny you say that because our travel team at most practices we only have 7 girls at practice and at least 2 coaches and there kids are not there as well..... but when its time to play in games there the first ones there and they always start in games....it drives me insane for a our head coach to let this happen ...but hes a yes man that says one thing to parents and another thing to coaches and players ...

 

[InsidePitch]

I find you have less absenteeism if you

1. Charge an arm and a leg to play
2. Sit those that miss.

Carrying 13 on a 14U team means there is plenty of sitting time that needs to be occupied. Just as easy to fill it with kids that can't be bothered to come to practice for lame reasons.

 

[WB Coach]

I find you have less absenteeism if you

1. Charge an arm and a leg to play
2. Sit those that miss.

Carrying 13 on a 14U team means there is plenty of sitting time that needs to be occupied. Just as easy to fill it with kids that can't be bothered to come to practice for lame reasons.

I coach little league softball but, still, it's 175 for the season. To me, that's a nice chunk of dough. My DD is at every single practice, game and clinic, but commitment to the team still comes first over the money thing and that is what we teach our children. As far as sitting, I don't have the luxury of having enough players showing up for me to sit them. I would love to, but I just can't. I put so much of myself, physically, mentally, and monetarily into managing these girls that sometimes it breaks my heart that some parents just look at it as some kind of throw-away hobby that they can pick and choose when to show up. What would happen if the coaches did that? Or umps?

Okay, I feel better now!

 

[CoachKevin]

I agree with the commitment level, but it's not just confined to softball, it's rampant in every sport. Not sure what/how the parents were raised or thinking but it starts there.

One thing that wasn't mentioned at all is your actions to your AC's. To throw them under the bus in front of the team is unacceptable IMO. You just undermined their authority (believe me kids know when coaches don't know the game). If I were one of your AC's I would be out the door. Sure show the kids why you take a lead in foul ground and return to 3B in fair terriority (and while this is going on the AC's just learned something too) but never throw your help to the wolves.

 

[Indiana]

My husband used to coach rec sports - various kinds, including softball. My youngest son spent his formative years watching his dad coach. As a result, my son does a rolling-on-the-floor laughing, dead on impression of a disgruntled player sitting on the bench with a sour look on her face saying, "my mom signed me UP for this. I have to go in five minutes. I have to go to a birthday party"

This Brian Regan video always gives me a laugh:

brian regan little league - YouTube

In all seriousness, though, I feel for you. I agree with Amy that rec ball is its own worst enemy. A big part of me doesn't agree with leveled play until age 14 or so. Everyone would play for their town team, like the Little League when we were kids. I think the kids who truly get shortchanged with the leveled system are the age 12 or so beginner players who are motivated to get better. The choice seems to be either a travel team that they are accepted onto as a roster filler, thus will get zero playing time and won't get better, or a rec team where 1/2 the kids aren't motivated enough to show up.