This is one of the most difficult subject to talk about because the individual circumstance of the case is all important. Sometimes the male role models, coaches and dads are put in very difficult situations. I am not placing blame on either side, but only offering a different perspective from a single dad, who carefully raised his only daughter and allowing her to have freedom to grow, learn, and be with their friends.
My house was, and is, where my daughter has had many sleep-overs. Why, because I let them be themselves, gave the space, and did not have a bunch of rules. "Mom" was not around.
The intellectual, and physical development, as females grow is very challenging to a grown male adult. They go through phases where they flirt. Phases where they dress too skimpy. Go through phases where they initiate behavior to an adult male role model because they are young, and over their young life growth, it happens.
I continually fretted about how to be intellectually close to my daughter, and her friends, be upstanding and proper in every way, and stay within the boundaries every man must have with any female. Circumstances happen. A girl would accidentally walk into the bathroom, while I was in there. A girl would intentionally flirt with me just to get my reaction to the point I have to tell them to stop, and physically remove myself, and get up and walk away. They would show me photo's of themselves they should not, and I would tell them so. Don't show me that, and lecture them on the importance of keeping all digital photo's discrete.
On more than one occasion, all it would have taken is a young lady to mis-interpret my every day actions. They could bring me down, ruin my life, cause me to lose my job and become an embarrassment to my community. We talked about this with the girls. I was only trying to be a responsible adult male role model, all young girls want and need. But I also wanted to be close enough to help, and watch my daughter grow, to give her guidance, that others young ladies do not get from their dads, because their dads were too afraid to get close to their daughters because of the very real fear and consequence talk about here.
I do not know the facts in this case. I will not pass judgement. Just offering a perspective that most male role models care very much for these young ladies. That path is particularly treacherous for us, if you want to make a difference. Many men won't and do not engage in their daughters life.
I am so glad my daughter is now 17, and the relationships I have with her friends now is much more adult to adult. Potentially compromising circumstances do not come up anymore.
Whew ... I made it through, and truly cherish my daughter and her friends, who I literally grew up with. A most difficult task, and most rewarding.
My house was, and is, where my daughter has had many sleep-overs. Why, because I let them be themselves, gave the space, and did not have a bunch of rules. "Mom" was not around.
The intellectual, and physical development, as females grow is very challenging to a grown male adult. They go through phases where they flirt. Phases where they dress too skimpy. Go through phases where they initiate behavior to an adult male role model because they are young, and over their young life growth, it happens.
I continually fretted about how to be intellectually close to my daughter, and her friends, be upstanding and proper in every way, and stay within the boundaries every man must have with any female. Circumstances happen. A girl would accidentally walk into the bathroom, while I was in there. A girl would intentionally flirt with me just to get my reaction to the point I have to tell them to stop, and physically remove myself, and get up and walk away. They would show me photo's of themselves they should not, and I would tell them so. Don't show me that, and lecture them on the importance of keeping all digital photo's discrete.
On more than one occasion, all it would have taken is a young lady to mis-interpret my every day actions. They could bring me down, ruin my life, cause me to lose my job and become an embarrassment to my community. We talked about this with the girls. I was only trying to be a responsible adult male role model, all young girls want and need. But I also wanted to be close enough to help, and watch my daughter grow, to give her guidance, that others young ladies do not get from their dads, because their dads were too afraid to get close to their daughters because of the very real fear and consequence talk about here.
I do not know the facts in this case. I will not pass judgement. Just offering a perspective that most male role models care very much for these young ladies. That path is particularly treacherous for us, if you want to make a difference. Many men won't and do not engage in their daughters life.
I am so glad my daughter is now 17, and the relationships I have with her friends now is much more adult to adult. Potentially compromising circumstances do not come up anymore.
Whew ... I made it through, and truly cherish my daughter and her friends, who I literally grew up with. A most difficult task, and most rewarding.
