Coach needs suggestion on dealing with Parent

[ktm rider]

This girl makes the 17th player on my team. The league really can't do much. She is actually the proper age to be in U10. And the league also can't do much about how many players I have. I guess they could have not registered anymore girls after a set number but no one expected such a turnout. (which is a very good thing if you ask me. )

 

[Lozza]

I would start trying to find three more girls for two teams. That way everyone wins!

 

[chinamigarden]

This is a league problem. No rec program should give a coach the latitude to decide where a girl plays within the program. Plus there is no way a rec program should have 17 girls on a team. If you have 2 teams of 17 you should have 3 teams of 11-12, plus if they have girls who are not ready for kid pitch they should have an alternative plan other then keeping a 9 year old on a team with 6 year olds.

The Dad didn't handle it properly but the structure of the league put you in a bad spot. It was a poor situation and apparently there is not a good way of handling it within the structure you have

 

[BaldNBeautiful]

This is a league problem. No rec program should give a coach the latitude to decide where a girl plays within the program. Plus there is no way a rec program should have 17 girls on a team. If you have 2 teams of 17 you should have 3 teams of 11-12, plus if they have girls who are not ready for kid pitch they should have an alternative plan other then keeping a 9 year old on a team with 6 year olds.

The Dad didn't handle it properly but the structure of the league put you in a bad spot. It was a poor situation and apparently there is not a good way of handling it within the structure you have

My thoughts exactly. If there is anyway possible form an expansion team and cut these teams down to workable numbers. I have always found that 12-13 max was best (rec, travel, or school) to handle playing time.
The other big issue is practice time. trying to get adequate work in practice with 12 is much easier than 17. More swings, more opportunity, etc. I know you realize this but your league needs to step in and alleviate the problem.
As for Dad, I have seen some headcases before.....funny thing is, you can treat/handle 95% of the "good parents" the same way and everything is fine. That way is usually treating them exactly how we as coaches would want to be treated.
But no two "problem parents" can really be handled the same. It seems there is always something else going on and I am not trained in counseling.
I wish you luck, I know you want what is best for the child, but you also have to look out for the best interests of the other 16 girls.

 

[Mylil32]

I agree with Chinamigarden, this should have been handled by the Rec League Director (is there such a thing?) 17 is way too many to be on one team first of all. You should have had the option to say "take it up with the director, they made the decision" Passing the buck is always fun!

Since that wasn't an option and you're stuck with this kid, I'd make sure she rides the pine for most of the season. When dad freaks out, just keep saying "I told you in the beginning she wouldn't get much playing time" I know that doesn't seem fair to the kid, but it's dad's fault, not yours.

 

[WB Coach]

Since that wasn't an option and you're stuck with this kid, I'd make sure she rides the pine for most of the season.

My rec league, like most, have a "fair play" rule book that is to be followed by all teams. The above statement violates that rule book. She must have equal playing time but I definitely wouldn't put her in IF if she's in danger of getting hurt.

 

[Sweet Lou]

As others have said, the biggest problem is the 17 (or 18) girl roster. At U10 rec ALL the girls should get to play a lot no matter how good or bad they are and that can't happen with such a huge roster.

As for this kid maybe she belongs in U10 maybe she would be better at U8 I don't really know. I know it can be embarrasing for a kid how by age should be in a higher division but is playing down so maybe they just want to avoid that. But it sounds like your team is not a real good fit for her. Is there a U10 team in your league with fewer player she could go to?

How many teams in your league and what is the roster size of each?

I know in our rec program all the softball teams U8, U10, U12, U14 have roster sizes of 11 to 13 girls depending on how many signed up for the year at that age group. And it is rare to have 13.

 

[Momo'sDad]

For the 2nd time in 2 days, I have to say "this is ludicrous". 17 players? That's a league failure. Split the team and put a couple of pitchers on both rosters, if needed.

You handled the field conversation badly, in my opinion. There's a time and place for everything and unless he had scheduled an appointment with you, that time belonged to your team, not to an irrational parent. He would not have gotten a word out of me other than "we'll have to talk about this later - I'm running a practice right now".

 

[ktm rider]

You handled the field conversation badly, in my opinion. There's a time and place for everything and unless he had scheduled an appointment with you, that time belonged to your team, not to an irrational parent. He would not have gotten a word out of me other than "we'll have to talk about this later - I'm running a practice right now".

We live a small town of about 9,000 people and the other towns/small citys are about the same size abit in this rural area they are all about 10-15 miles apart. So, putting this girl on one of the other U10 teams is not really an option.

I agree I did handle the initial conversation badly. But I had no idea that is who was pulling me off the field. I never acutally met the man before. just talked on the phone. if I would have known I would have made him sit and wait for me for 2 hours while I coached up the travel ball girls. .. lol.

 

[Mylil32]

My rec league, like most, have a "fair play" rule book that is to be followed by all teams. The above statement violates that rule book. She must have equal playing time but I definitely wouldn't put her in IF if she's in danger of getting hurt.

Bleh! Going to be awfully hard to "fair play" with a 17 girl roster and that would be my excuse.