Building Self-Confidence

[sluggers]

greatbasin: I was worse than you. It took somebody giving me a ton of sh*t for being such an idiot for me to wake up and enjoy the process.

To give a more analytical response: "Mental toughness" means being able to perform with a high degree of consistency during stressful situations. Even if your DD had the mental fortitude of Neal Armstrong, she couldn't do it. She hasn't practiced enough. Her body hasn't built enough neurons and muscles. It literally takes years of practice to develop consistency at pitching. (I wasn't kidding about the kid at Stanford--send me a PM and I'll tell you her name, and you can check out her stats.)

You need to relax and laugh at being a softball daddy. Every softball daddy is a little crazy. We all think our kids are destined to win a gold medal at the Olympics.

Ray

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

You need to relax and laugh at being a softball daddy. Every softball daddy is a little crazy. We all think our kids are destined to win a gold medal at the Olympics.
Ray

WHAT?! You mean she might not be?!

 

[3'sDad]

GreatBasin: The advise given above is very good. I have the pleasure of parenting a 2nd year pitcher. DD just turned 12. When we started this journey into playing more competitve softball and pitching, I read everything I could on this and a few other softball sites; being both a Dad and a former baseball player.

Girls are different to coach and encourage than boys. What will work to motivate a boy usually isn't as effective for a girl. Softball is also a different game than baseball, especially with hitting and pitching.

The goals we set (with the help of DD's pitching coach) in year 1 had nothing to do with wins and losses - throw strikes, minimize walks, don't get too upset with your team mates when they make errors, etc. DD only cried once, and it was between innings (she hid behind me so her team mates wouldn't see her crying).

This past year, she developed both a change-up and drop curve, so we focused on throwing both these pitches for strikes, in any pitch count. A bit more focus on wins this year (in just a few selected instances), but again staying in emotional control and throwing strikes any thime in the game were critical.

DD will begin playing A level travel ball next month and will be getting a good amount of circle time. It appears she's mature enough emotionally to handle this level of competition. Time will tell. Best of luck.. I use the padded softball buckets to catch DD when she practices....they're terrific.

 

[greatbasin]

Thanks for the feedback. There have been some great suggestions and valid points.
I realize that I have overlooked the effects of adolescence and how it pertains to females...BIG time. Believe me when I say, I am struggling to learn the differences between teaching boys and teaching girls. I also seem to have forgotten just how much young ladies change as they grow and situations are never static, both in life and in sport. It was just concerning to me when I saw my girls reactions change so drastically to situations that wouldn't have ruffled her in the past. I still am interested in teaching her (and I) how to have a better mind-set when things don't go well. After all, what's life if you can't enjoy the journey with your family, create lifelong memories, and learn as you go.

 

[KAT]

girls and boys

just remember a girl needs to feel good about herself to play well...whereas a

Boy needs to play well to feel good about himself.

I found this to be so true with my kids.

 

[obbay]

WOW!
you so just hit the nail on the head!
(re: differences between boys and girls)

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Also, with boys, say that Jim is really getting chewed out. All of the other guys are smirking and thinking "I am glad that isn't me."

But, chew out a little girl and "all" of the little girls are mad at you.

I teach several 10 -11 YOs. I sometimes encourage them with things such as barrettes and hair ties and headbands, at lessons.

Try to let the games stay on the field and not discuss them unless DD wants to.

 

[DonnieS]

Also, with boys, say that Jim is really getting chewed out. All of the other guys are smirking and thinking "I am glad that isn't me."

But, chew out a little girl and "all" of the little girls are mad at you.

I teach several 10 -11 YOs. I sometimes encourage them with things such as barrettes and hair ties and headbands, at lessons.

Try to let the games stay on the field and not discuss them unless DD wants to.

I agree with what Amy said, but remove the word 'little'.

 

[Cannonball]

Listen, catch your daughter "doing good." Take the initiative to be very positive with her without being overbearing. Things like, that change up was really good. She might have thrown 3 bad ones but who cares! Talk about the good one. Find times to let her speak to you on her terms. I've posted this before but the truth is the truth. With my daughter, we always get into the car and I say, "well, what do you think." I let her then direct that conversation. If she wants to talk about the game fine. If not, fine. I've found now that we've done this so long that she's ready for me to ask.

I remember taking all of these psychology classes and they mentioned 4 goods to 1 bad as a good ratio of feed back to a child. Bull! 8 to 1 at least! I've told my daughter that when it is a "bad" it might be real bad so weather the storm because there are so many "goods" coming. Again, she understands. In fact, she will sometimes get into the car and say, "Dad, I have a bad one coming don't I."

I posted this also on this site before. We have a rule that there is no crying on the field or in public. When we get into the car, my daughter knows that she can cry all she wants and we support her. I think in a lot of ways, this helped make her tough. Don't get me wrong, she has had some serious crying spells. However, she's gotten out of that car more determined.

Finally, tell your daughter to control the things she CAN CONTROL. With the rest, deal with it and adjust. Smile a lot. As a parent, when you see "that look" on her face, don't have the same look on your face. She can feed off of your love and support.

I hope this helps.

 

[jimginas]

CannonBall: Great feedback!