Listen, catch your daughter "doing good." Take the initiative to be very positive with her without being overbearing. Things like, that change up was really good. She might have thrown 3 bad ones but who cares! Talk about the good one. Find times to let her speak to you on her terms. I've posted this before but the truth is the truth. With my daughter, we always get into the car and I say, "well, what do you think." I let her then direct that conversation. If she wants to talk about the game fine. If not, fine. I've found now that we've done this so long that she's ready for me to ask.
I remember taking all of these psychology classes and they mentioned 4 goods to 1 bad as a good ratio of feed back to a child. Bull! 8 to 1 at least! I've told my daughter that when it is a "bad" it might be real bad so weather the storm because there are so many "goods" coming. Again, she understands. In fact, she will sometimes get into the car and say, "Dad, I have a bad one coming don't I."
I posted this also on this site before. We have a rule that there is no crying on the field or in public. When we get into the car, my daughter knows that she can cry all she wants and we support her. I think in a lot of ways, this helped make her tough. Don't get me wrong, she has had some serious crying spells. However, she's gotten out of that car more determined.
Finally, tell your daughter to control the things she CAN CONTROL. With the rest, deal with it and adjust. Smile a lot. As a parent, when you see "that look" on her face, don't have the same look on your face. She can feed off of your love and support.
