Am I wrong.

[xygent1]

Ok here's the background my DD has been playing up in age since she was 8 always playing in a division older than her actual age since we left rec and went to tb/comp ball. her and I have worked very hard to get her to a level where she is a very good pitcher not only for 14u comp in our area but with the rule change of age eligible 12u with the money invested in private lessons monthly not to mention the time involved, Im the assistant coach on our team and have been since joining the team, our head coach against my advice registered our team as a B team cause we don't travel out of the state (which was his justification) also cause supposedly the majority of the parents wanted to play B ball. but it has clearly been a huge mistake imo cause we play B caliber teams, if you can call them that during the week which we as a team totally dominate, but on the weekends are playing in A tourney's and its very apparent that our girls are not playing to that level due purely to the fact they don't get challenged in league and when they do errors have killed us. well last week the hc decided that we were going to go to nationals in Minnesota and play in that tourney. I thought about it a lot since he dropped that on us and I called him up and told him I didn't think we would be going cause looking at the expenses involved, time off of work etc. to do the nationals I didn't think it worth it, he says to me but it would be fun and a good experience for the girls which I agree but imo, personally I don't want to drop a thousand dollars on a tourney that we cannot compete in. not that we don't have the talent on the team cause we definitely do but they wont be prepared, 100% because of the comp that he has signed us up for. just this week he had a opportunity to dump the end of the year tourney for our league for a spot that opened up in the heartland tourney USSSA here in Sioux falls the same weekend and chose to stay in the B league Tourney VS a good competitive national qualifying tourney right here in our back yard. oh I forgot after I got off the phone with him he sent out a mass text to the rest of the parents excluding me saying that nationals was off due to me and my DD wont go to it basically putting the total blame on it on us. so am I wrong in my decision?

 

[djcarter1966]

Well it depends...this is what happens when goals and expectations are not made at the BEGINNING of the year. If the coach had said we will play "B" in league then we may do some "A" tournaments as well to stretch us and our end of year Goal tournament is Nationals in Minn, well then you would be wrong. On the other hand if he said we are playing "B" because we don't leave the state then turns around and says we going to Nationals in Minn. that seems disingenuous (geography might come into play Rapid City is probably further than Minneapolis for you). If the whole team is going and you are the only one not going and it is not financial hardship as the reason it's just you don't feel like it then yeah you are probably wrong. There are just so many factors at play...but it sounds like the season did not go quiet the way you wanted it so you might have sour grapes. If you are crushing "B" but getting crushed in "A" then your coach has it about right I guess.

Probably need more info sorry for the mindless wandering post.

 

[JAD]

It is very important that the coaching staff set the expectations and estimated expenses at the beginning of the season - preferably with an outline before players accept spots on the team. A lot of teams may add tournaments during the season, but to add a National event that is out of state and a week long without polling the parents first is unacceptable. You may want to look into the possibility of sending your DD with another family on the team. This helps control expenses and prevents some parents from having to take a week of vacation.

 

[RetiredCoach]

I do have a sense that you feel that you are "wrong". It seems that you were unhappy with how things went and may be taking it out on the team. Only you can answer that. Are you?

 

[FiveFrameSwing]

Ok here's the background my DD has been playing up in age since she was 8 always playing in a division older than her actual age since we left rec and went to tb/comp ball. her and I have worked very hard to get her to a level where she is a very good pitcher not only for 14u comp in our area but with the rule change of age eligible 12u with the money invested in private lessons monthly not to mention the time involved, Im the assistant coach on our team and have been since joining the team, our head coach against my advice registered our team as a B team cause we don't travel out of the state (which was his justification) also cause supposedly the majority of the parents wanted to play B ball. but it has clearly been a huge mistake imo cause we play B caliber teams, if you can call them that during the week which we as a team totally dominate, but on the weekends are playing in A tourney's and its very apparent that our girls are not playing to that level due purely to the fact they don't get challenged in league and when they do errors have killed us. well last week the hc decided that we were going to go to nationals in Minnesota and play in that tourney. I thought about it a lot since he dropped that on us and I called him up and told him I didn't think we would be going cause looking at the expenses involved, time off of work etc. to do the nationals I didn't think it worth it, he says to me but it would be fun and a good experience for the girls which I agree but imo, personally I don't want to drop a thousand dollars on a tourney that we cannot compete in. not that we don't have the talent on the team cause we definitely do but they wont be prepared, 100% because of the comp that he has signed us up for. just this week he had a opportunity to dump the end of the year tourney for our league for a spot that opened up in the heartland tourney USSSA here in Sioux falls the same weekend and chose to stay in the B league Tourney VS a good competitive national qualifying tourney right here in our back yard. oh I forgot after I got off the phone with him he sent out a mass text to the rest of the parents excluding me saying that nationals was off due to me and my DD wont go to it basically putting the total blame on it on us. so am I wrong in my decision?

Personally I encourage teams to attend and compete in the National tournament .... even the teams that I fully know will fail miserably. Why? Because it is an eye opener for them. For the first time ever they realize just how fast this game can be and what girls this age are actually capable of. It can set the stage for moving forward ... to punt and play rec .... or to dig in and compete, with the attitude of proving yourself at your next National tournament.

 

[NorthMS]

As said above, expectations and travel should be discussed before the season. I wouldn't want to have a big tourny like that dropped on me this late in the year.

One other thing, don't blame the coach for the girls lack of performance simply because you play SOME weaker teams. That sounds like a crutch. Playing an inferior team mid week doesn't make you a bad team on the weekend. It MAY not make the team better, but it doesn't hurt. If this view is being shared with the girls, they may think their failures are a result of the coach's schedule and not their own doing. How would they go about getting better if they don't see where the issues are?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Oh, wow. I am not so certain that what you did was in your DD's best interest. I understand work, money, etc. but this is what the coach decided to do and since you are keeping the pitcher home, 10 other families can't go. This decision is going to effect your DD making teams in the future.

 

[Cannonball]

You have just posted making it sound like your dd is the stud pitcher of the team and you won't go to nationals. The rest of the girls commit errors against even "B" competition according to your post. You told him you won't go. So, now he sends out an email saying you won't go and so they can't go. I don't see how you can be upset with that. Are you wrong? In the next few years when the SS or Catcher or ... parents decide that they won't go to nationals, you'll understand.

 

[xygent1]

See that's the thing the coach doesn't practice the kids to prepare them we haven't had practice in 2 weeks my dd goes in to practice 2-3 times a week n our coach has been making a habit of that also just found out this morning I have to get all the roster info. Equipment etc for the first game of this weekends tourney due to coach hunting n won't be back in time also found out I'm doing the following weeks tourney due to coach going to the twins games that weekend hopefully you understand my dillema alitte bit more now I didn't sign up to be the head coach

 

[FiveFrameSwing]

As said above, expectations and travel should be discussed before the season. I wouldn't want to have a big tourny like that dropped on me this late in the year.

One other thing, don't blame the coach for the girls lack of performance simply because you play SOME weaker teams. That sounds like a crutch. Playing an inferior team mid week doesn't make you a bad team on the weekend. It MAY not make the team better, but it doesn't hurt. If this view is being shared with the girls, they may think their failures are a result of the coach's schedule and not their own doing. How would they go about getting better if they don't see where the issues are?

I disagree. Playing weak teams can make a good team worse.

Take a hitter with 'bat drag' ... against a weak pitcher the kid is feeling good about their swing, believing that it is effective, and hitting the ball with authority. Then against good A-level pitching they fail .... but they recall that they were murdering the ball earlier in the week. Few hitters (& their parents) openly acknowledge that the reason they were hitting earlier was because they faced weak pitching, and instead lean towards believing that a hitting slump took hold ..... when in fact it isn't a slump.

If you want to learn to swim .... dive into the deep end.

If you want to learn to hit .... face a steady stream of good pitching, that has a solid defense around that pitcher.