Women coaching softball

[CycloneSoftball22]

Male or Female , I dont really care as long as they know the game and can teach it

 

[undergroundga]

Wow...you don't get this at all. It is not happenstance that the crazy Dads have exceptional softball players.

The coach I was talking about (dozens of D1 pitchers, a CWS MVP and 3 Olympians) told me that the crazy dads are the ones who make the players exceptional, not him. Why? Because a Crazy Daddy is crazy enough or stupid enough (depending upon your world view) to work with his DD every day for years on the off-chance the DDs had the talent to be really good.

Anyone who is out in the backyard with his DD catching 200 or 300 pitches every day for 10 years is not normal. The guy playing golf (or fishing) every Saturday, Sunday and Wednesday is the normal one.

There was a guy across the street whose DD was twice the athlete my kids were...but, his priority was golf. He wouldn't leave work early to go out in the backyard and play with his kids. He didn't take his kid to the gym when there was four feet of snow on the ground to pitch. He would stay in and watch SportsCenter. *HE* is the normal person. I'm the abnormal one.

A coach has to learn how to handle Crazy Daddies. If the coach doesn't, he will never be able to get and keep the exceptional players.

OMG, I am definitely a borderline(maybe a slight bit of denial) Crazy Dad. Is that bad? My dd's softball has developed into my hobby. I scoure the internet looking for tips to make her better, and will pass up on time with the fellas to catch dd's pitching lesson. I wake her up(sometimes she wakes me up) at 8 in the morning to go outside and practice before it gets to hot(prep for tryouts), and am currently lobbying dw to let put a bc in back yard. Not too mention the money spent on equipment, lessons and fees. I tell myself I would be fine if she decided to quit, but would I. Will I need a 12 step program?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Underground, You are showing some of the symptoms.
I knew a guy many years ago, that knew little about softball when his DD started in it. She was an "only" and was born when he was 40.
He could not stand it that she had a very good #1 senior pitcher ahead of her in HS. So, one Friday evening his DD didn't get to pitch and he bought a house in the neighboring district and she was in another school Monday morning.

 

[undergroundga]

Underground, You are showing some of the symptoms.
I knew a guy many years ago, that knew little about softball when his DD started in it. She was an "only" and was born when he was 40.
He could not stand it that she had a very good #1 senior pitcher ahead of her in HS. So, one Friday evening his DD didn't get to pitch and he bought a house in the neighboring district and she was in another school Monday morning.

I know, and this is only after 1 season of tb! It's gotten really bad the last couple 3 or 4 months. Mostly because I have been not been working since April. Fortunately, there is hope in sit and by Oct. I should be working again. That should provide a distraction from sb. Of course then there will be another problem as I will bw working about 60hrs a week on swing shifts. I hope the withdrawal symptoms are not too bad.
Big differences, I have a younger son just now getting into tee ball. and dw would never move from where we live.

 

[chinamigarden]

Now we are being sexist for playing catch with our daughters?

 

[undergroundga]

I also want to ask if dads stay this involved with son's pitching.....or let him 'fly out of the nest.'

I happen to know somewhat from my facility, but would love the answers from posters here.

I know in our house it is way easier to work with my dd than my ds. She listens way better and has a much longer attention span. Plus there is something special about the father/daughter dynamic. Ds is only 4, though, but I really don't see him getting any better.
I also think my wife is harder on dd than I am, and like wise I am harder on ds. I'm not educated enough to know if this is from nature or just us.
I would like a good female coach for my dd(her pc is a woman) because of she needs more role models,but they are in limited supply. I wouldn't accept subpar coaching from someone just because the are male.

 

[Greenmonsters]

This is not true. My dad stopped catching me when I was 12; he had to work anyway and was not around. I worked out with my teammates, my brothers and sisters, friends, or I pitched by myself into a net.

That's why we disagree--I feel the discipline, motivation and work has to come from the player, not from Dad hovering. I think that we now stress reps over quality of the reps as well. Talk about stereotypes, why can't this person who makes the player exceptional be the Mom, whether she is out in the yard or just taking care of the daughter in other ways?

What I think is true is my experience, and others can call it stereotyping men, but what I said is how it happened to me. I am fine over in my lessons facility, anyway. Better pay, that is more than nothing.

SB - Perception and reality are a function of perspective. If you consider that your experience might be the exception, you might find that things make more sense.

 

[Greenmonsters]

I am not looking for things to make sense. I just attended a game yesterday where the male coaches went off on the umps, and had the 'stereotypically' male verbally aggressive thing going on. Umps tell me when they saw female coaches or female adult players, they preferred umping and said "thank goodness." My perception is valid.

After yesterday, I do think some male coaches need to do some self-reflection and not blame me for my perspective.

Your choice - continue to come across as unhappy and resentfull and have a chip on your shoulder or try to understand, adjust, and move forward constructively. IMO, there are good coaches and bad coaches - gender has nothing to do with it. If you want to coach, you need to accept that there also are good parents and bad parents and they must be dealt with if you want to coach anything other than a bunch of orphans.

 

[BB875]

Here is my limited experience. I have coached TB for 5 years. Still a newb in some eyes, Ok I could care less what anyone thinks. My oldest DD plays for two guy coaches on an 18U Gold team, GREAT coaches in every aspect. I coach DD#2 & she is the reason I started 5 years ago. My youngest, DD#3, is 9YO and plays for a GREAT lady coach. She was a D1 player and I cannot tell you how happy I am see is the coach. I would love it if she stayed with DD#3 her whole career. I have a tremendous amount of respect for her and I have borrowed practice drills she uses.

Screwball, please know there are softball fanatics out there that respect women coaches at every level. We also have a HS coach in our conference that was a D1 player and I would love for her to coach my kids. Two of my DDs went to a clinic she put on...Top tier person and coach.

 

[Momo'sDad]

This is a very strange thread which seems to be jumping all around the place.

I don't think my coaching style or my treatment of my players, parents, or assistant coaches has anything to do with my gender or theirs. In fact, the only consideration I'm required to give in rec play locally in NorCal is that I must have a female staff member present at all team functions. If all my on-field assistants are men, then I must have a woman designated as Team Parent.

For next spring, I invited the woman who will be my assistant coach because of her playing background, skills knowledge, teaching style, and competitiveness. Her daughter is really coachable and loves to play. I would like and respect both just as much if they were males.

My job is to teach sportsmanship and softball, not to teach 10u girls to obsess over gender issues by being overly concerned with the fact that I'm a boy and they are not. I want them to grow up to be strong, confident women, but that won't be achieved by walking on eggshells around them simply because they are girls.