Rose colored glasses?

[undergroundga]

A starter class for parents would be a great idea.
We were in a bad spot on our dds 8u team . Dd was the oldest kid. Several were 7 and a few 6. We didn't have a problem with that, or the fact that there wasn't much skill. As the season drug on there was no improvement, and I mean no improvement. The coach was inexperienced and refused any help. She kept putting our team in "A" class tournaments, once after about 2 mos. w/out practice. She once missed practice so fer dd could go to a piano lesson. So it was a bad sit. All the parents got together and talked to org. together. We were the last ones to get on bored, because we didn't wanna hurt dd's chances in the future. Still the wife and I took the brunt of her blame. We were in a bad spot. Just couldn't see letting dd get marched out game after game to get slaughtered and the coach make no changes to improve. She kept saying, "We will be the team to beat next year" Our dd aged up,so we wouldn't be there anyway.
I would never approach a coach about playing time. That's not my place as a parent. We were worried about this with fall ball. There seem to be 4 female coaches. 2 of them have dds pitching, and that's who pitched the first couple practices.DD is playing up and is the youngest girl on team. Yesterday dd said something to 1 of them and kinda got brushed off. She was unrelenting and pestered them until one of the coaches took her to the side and let her try. You could tell by her reaction she was surprised. Afterwards she came up to us and asked if dd took lessons. She told us she looked really good and wants to use her to pitch.
I do not encourage dd to pester people. But we are proud that she spoke for herself and was unrelenting even after being brushed off.

 

[chinamigarden]

This is my greatest fear, but it is what eats at the back of my mind. Since she was one of the better performers at the second tryout and they had to fill out a whole roster, and are still looking for players, I believe it is my fault.
There was a situation with her coach last season. The org. asked her to step down and be the asst. coach and let another guy hc. She refused and quit. It was an improvement for the team, but the wife and I bore the brunt of the blame. Even though all the parents were at the meeting, and I was not the new coach I was the main one she blamed. Which sucks because she runs a basketball league my dd plays in. Anyway, So I could be the reason, but they picked another girl whose dad made a lot of trouble on their previous team(I know cause it was the same org.)
We didn't do anycoaching from the side line, sat quiet except for a couple good jobs. She did have to go to bathroom during tryout, and came over to us to get some ice out of cooler(despite my disapproval). It was about 105degrees.
So who knows. It does bother me though. Either my dd isn't as good as we think(or everyone around us, who could just be blowing smoke up our butt)or I got my dd blackballed. Not sure which is worse.
How long will this follow us?

Not sure how old your DD is, but at my dds tryouts I try to watch the first 10 minutes, mostly chatting with the other parents, and then I leave. I come back with about 15 minutes left to go, chat some more and we go. I never ask a coach after a try out "how did she do" Because human nature forces most people to say something positive. They are not going to say, she didn't do well. Even if she didn't they are going to say. Love her attitude, great spirit, good hustle... All I do is shake his/her hand and thank them for the opportunity.

 

[undergroundga]

Not sure how old your DD is, but at my dds tryouts I try to watch the first 10 minutes, mostly chatting with the other parents, and then I leave. I come back with about 15 minutes left to go, chat some more and we go. I never ask a coach after a try out "how did she do" Because human nature forces most people to say something positive. They are not going to say, she didn't do well. Even if she didn't they are going to say. Love her attitude, great spirit, good hustle... All I do is shake his/her hand and thank them for the opportunity.

Dd is 8.
This might be where I messed up. I didn't speak to any of the coaches. Dw usually registeres dd while I go and set up ou observation station. Dd stayed for pitcher tryouts and we left after that(thought sticking around to talk to coach would seem desperate). Overanalyzing like I do I have thought that maybe trying out for pitcher was a mistake. We didn't expect a pitcher spot, but rather wanted to see how she would do and show off that she had more skills. She did better than most that we watched. I hope it didn't give the impression she only wanted a pitcher spot.
I agree it is human nature to give people, especially strangers compliments rather than truth. As a result I am skeptical when people tell me how good dd is doing.

 

[SoftSocDad]

A starter class for parents would be a great idea.
We were in a bad spot on our dds 8u team . Dd was the oldest kid. Several were 7 and a few 6. We didn't have a problem with that, or the fact that there wasn't much skill. As the season drug on there was no improvement, and I mean no improvement. The coach was inexperienced and refused any help. She kept putting our team in "A" class tournaments....

'A' tournaments for 8u? smh

 

[undergroundga]

'A' tournaments for 8u? smh

I know right. You shoulda seen some of the teams we played. I f we were a "C" team, they were definately "A".
there was another 8u team in our org. that was dominant. I know it sounds crazy but there is definately a difference even at 8u.

 

[Coach JV]

Back to the OP-it is 12U, dd needs to play, did you ask any tryout coach why she didn't make
it? What did you do while tryouts were going on? Did you hover at each station, giving
dd encouragement as she tried out? Personally, I take a player with heart-skill etc., I am also
taking the entire family, all coaches have pet peeves, mine is the dad that is in DD ear
before she goes to on-deck circle. I released one this year solely for that reason, she
became egotistical and was not a team player

 

[Sparky Guy]

I guess I'm just going to have to talk to the coach. But, what should the question be? I don't even know where to start without sounding like I'm asking to do her job.

Go to the HC and ask what does your DD need to work on so she can get some innings? Don't ask why she's not. Ask what she needs to improve on to get the innings. In your situation though it sounds like it's a DDT X 2 (Daddy Daughter Team X 2) with both of the coaches DD's pitching. Never a good situation for the 3rd pitcher on the team. Failing that, your other option is to find another team for her to play on.

 

[Sparky Guy]

How long will this follow us?

If you're from a small community... forever...

 

[Ken Krause]

I've definitely cut kids because of the parents. The wrong people can make for a miserable year and a lot of heartache for everyone. Sucks for the kid, but such is life.

 

[Mike]

Lothar 241,
In my rough estimation about 5% of kids playing softball at 12u are good enough to play "A" ball at 16u, and even less are good enough to play in college. Dont except any old spot just to be on a team, find a team she fits in with, and still has decent to good coaching. Make the best of YOUR situation, if a team passes for whatever reason then count it a blessing and move on to a team thats needs her. Maybe this is another thread altogether but try what I did. I offered my oldest daughter $1500 dollars and her own jet ski to NOT play softball next year, she said I didn't have enough money to buy her out. My youngest caved at $750.00 but then changed her mind when she realilzed I was serious. How good they end up being doesnt matter to me, at least I know they both want to play for themselves.