Player Demeanor Issue

[Mike]

Some kids do need to be medicated

Her grandmother told me that she got up late and her meds hadn't had time to kick in.

I have had athletes, that by 5PM, there meds have worn off.

You are a much more compasionate person that me, this is a sad state of affairs IMO.

Coaches need to coach, parents need to get their kids under control and stop enebaling, rewarding, and making excuses for bad behavior. My kids work and try hard, but the second they cry over a mistake or a lost game is the day they hang it up and they know it, my wife has said if they are 30 and not a productive member of society then its time to cry, not over a game.

Dont get me totally wrong, I do feel bad for these kids because the medicated ones usually are latch key or kids of dysfunctional or divorced families. I wish parents would stop dumping their troubled kids in the coaches laps.

I also blame pediatricians and therapists more so than I blame parents. They are turning the next generation into whiny drug addicts.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

You are a much more compasionate person that me

Evidently.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Coaches need to coach, parents need to get their kids under control and stop enebaling, rewarding, and making excuses for bad behavior. My kids work and try hard, but the second they cry over a mistake or a lost game is the day they hang it up and they know it. ...

Why is it 'bad behavior' to cry over a mistake or losing a game?

I understand that crying can bring down the team during a game, and that it can hurt a child's own performance, and there is the need to coach kids to stay positive. But if my daughter makes an error that loses a game and wants to cry on the way home, she has a right to her emotions. Let her cry. I'm not going to punish her for it and make her quit. What's so terrible about a kid putting her heart into something such that she might cry if she tries and fails?

 

[Mike]

Coogan, the bad behavior I was refering to was the throwing of equipment.

But if my daughter makes an error that loses a game and wants to cry on the way home, she has a right to her emotions.

One error doesnt lose a game, why wasnt the game lost in the first inning when that other kid made an error that scored a run, is she crying also? Coaches and parents need to quit blaming the kid who made the last error, that might help.

Let her cry

Over a meaningless game......really.

I'm not going to punish her for it and make her quit. What's so terrible about a kid putting her heart into something such that she might cry if she tries and fails?

So many more important things to cry about IMO. My wife and I are not raising zombies but this family doesnt cry over sports and that doesnt mean we dont care. Reserve your tears for things that really matter or you run the risk of becoming a cry baby.

 

[guero_gordo]

she has a right to her emotions. Let her cry.

I think a lot of dad's don't get this. I might try to redirect DD's reactions a bit, but i tell my kids "Nobody gets to tell you how to feel."

 

[marriard]

I have had a couple of girls in rec league who quite frankly were nuts - and the parents were enablers. And somehow we as coaches were meant to figure out how to get the girl to be part of the team. Success with parental support once - not so much the other time.

I remember a Simpsons episode where Ned Flander's parents were having trouble controlling him because they were a couple of beatniks.

The exact quote was "We have tried absolutely nothing and we are all out of ideas."

 

[softballphreak]

In practice, I try to be a little tougher but in games I'll try to lighten it up a bit when a player acts like that. I'll say something like "hey, I struck out once; back in '78." That brings a smile sometimes, even if they force it.

 

[greg99]

I don't like seeing girls throw their helment after getting struck....BUT...i like even less watching girls laugh or have a cheesey smile afterwards..Give me a girl with some fire and i can redirect it. Give me a girl with no fire and I can't do anything.

 

[alexander58]

Some kids are more emotional than others. They are entitled to cry, if they choose. I would hope , as they mature, some of that would lessen. I had a helmet thrower years ago. I usually just ignored it , because I just considered it odd. I eventually just sat her when she threw her helmet. She now plays 18u for someone else , and continues to have behavioral issues. I guess you do your best to let them know what is acceptable and what is not. Beyond that, you hope the family can deal with it at home.

 

[Lozza]

Really folks. A 12 YO or younger girl who is acting immature and emotional needs to see a counselor?

I'm glad someone else said it.

Mike, there are kids who need drugs. My cousin is one of them. A kid who would literally run off the walls if he wasn't medicated. And he HATED it. There's nothing more heartbreaking than a 3 year old running around screaming and crying because he wants to stop but he doesn't know how.

Are some kids overmedicated? Yes. A friend's kid has been diagnosed ADHD and yes he is a handful, but he's also a little boy. I get results with him. I don't know if it's the mother or not (I hate making that judgement when I'm not with them 24/7) It's often the first port of call for some. Not all kids have been diagnosed wrong.

And yes, I have an issue with men telling little girls not to feel their emotions when they have NEVER been in their shoes. At 12 years old her entire body is changing. Hormones, body shape, everything. You really have no idea what it's like. Do we need to redirect it? Yes, 100%. A kid who's beating themselves up is no use to anyone. But we also need to realise that they are still children and need to be recognised as such.

I was a sook until about 13 when I came out of it. Even then, I'd still have tears in my eyes when I stuffed up. I HATED doing it wrong. Even now, at 28, I have to sometimes take a moment. I would never throw a helmet NOW, but I did have one game last year where I had to walk away and have a cry for a minute. Once it was out, it was out. But I took myself out of the situation and got myself back in the game. At 16 I didn't want to cry SO MUCH, that I bit through my lip. Blood everywhere.