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I hate this time of the year!

Ken Krause

May 7, 2008
Mundelein, IL
What about trying to recruit other strong players in the area to this team? You can tell them about the great coaching, positive atmosphere, etc. A lot of folks are looking for that - including high-level players. Encourage them to come in and create the competition for your daughter.
Nov 29, 2009
It sounds like your DD needs to be challenged by not being the best player on the team. She needs to be with players of equal or better caliber who force her to improve or sit the bench.

The BIGGEST thing that holds girls back is the "Friends" thing and the fear of being "alone" on another team. She will find out that she'll make more friends on the new team to add to her list of friends on the old team. I coached in one of the top organizations in the country. I will tell you this. Once the girls are off the field, they are just that... girls.

If your DD is as talented as you say and you have other teams asking her to jump you'll have to meet with the coach and give him the simple facts. You're not ready to have your DD commit before the season is over. Be up front and tell him she is going to tryout for different teams. Tryouts are when it's ALL about your DD and what is best for her as an indvidual. What is good for her may not be good for another girl.

My DD played on some teams who had talented players from a large geographical area. She did not hang out with them. The teams were run like college teams. She did this from the time she was 14U on up. It was the best thing that could have happened to her. When she got to college as a freshman she'd already been there and done that. So it wasn't hard to make the transition and the upperclassmen liked her.
Aug 19, 2015
Atlanta, GA
Are you prepared to lose the $350 if she decides to try out elsewhere and make a move? If so, you say yes and then do what you want. I think this demand is unreasonable given that there are still at least 6 weeks left in the 2018-2019 season (assuming Aug. 1 begins the next season).


Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
There are unknowns that you haven't filled in...age...playing level...is the team any good? What does she want to do?

Being the best player on a team that can't perform is an easy call...been there and done that. Being the best player on a team that has good coaching, gets along, AND is successful at a reasonably high level is the greenest grass you're going to find.

I guess it comes down to what you want for your DD, and what she's really capable of doing. If she's really that talented, and playing in college is a real consideration, then you need to do what gets her there. It appears that the current team is doing the college prep track, or am I wrong?
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Jun 12, 2015
Some teams have already had workouts starting this week where I live. I don't mind it this year since DD has to actually find a team for the fall for the first time since first year 10U. Normally it's annoying though. lol
Oct 4, 2018
I agree.

But now I'm hating this time of year as a coach. We desperately need a catcher. We need an infielder. We need another 4-5 girls to replace the ones aging out.

Where will we find them? Where will they come from? How do we get them to like us?

This is worse than dating. :D
Jul 16, 2013
The entire process is broken and creates stress for almost everyone involved...

Players -- where am I going to play? Who are my teammates going to be? I met several really nice girls at tryouts that I would love to team with, but how many of them will actually be part of the team? and how many will bolt to another team? The better players (top few on each team), are sitting pretty well. They know they are safe, but may not know what the rest of the team will look like. Will those top few players have any help? The middle players (let's say 5 through 9 on each team) are on the bubble. They may gain or lose playing time depending how the tryouts go. The bottom players (10 through 12+) are in limbo. Will I make the team? Will I get cut? How much will I play? When will I find out?

Parents -- where will my daughter play? how will the team be? how much drama? Will she get the necessary recruiting exposure (if that's a goal)? Hitting/pitching/fielding instruction... Etc. Lots of questions that are not answered easily without first making a commitment. Did I mention drama...

Coaches -- how may players are leaving? how do I replace them? Will other current players decide to leave after committing (snowball effect)? Do any of the incoming players/parents have "baggage"? how do I create the best possible roster in regards to talent, chemistry, growth potential, etc.? How long do I hold the limbo group before telling them yes or no?

Unfortunately it creates an environment where each party involved is forced to consider their own best interests instead of the interests of the team as a whole. Commitment from parents/players seem to be falling in general. Therefore commitment from coaches will fall. Therefore commitment from parents/players will fall more. Etc. Etc. What many don't realize is that the decisions they make have impacts on many others. So focused on their own needs that they fail to see beyond that.

I am extremely happy that I was able to get out of this process when I did. DD decided she wanted to join a higher level team entering 2nd year 16u. She was invited as a guest player for a fall tournament and asked to join the team afterwards. So no official "tryout" as that entire weekend was essentially a tryout for both her and the team. Somehow (still not sure how), I was elected to be the head coach the following year. We were only losing two players and I had contact with previous players that wanted to join the team. So no tryouts needed. Last year we decided to play at the 23u level. Much of the roster decided to stay and we supplemented it with other college players that we know. So again, no tryouts.

I found the entire tryout process to be painful no matter what role I was playing (parent or coach), and I am glad those days are over for me. Best of luck to all of you. Hopefully you are able to find a good team that meets the goals of your DDs and can avoid the drama that seems to continually grow...
Jan 5, 2018
This thread is 3 months too early. All of this stuff takes place after PGF
Depends on where you are...our local softball board...already is having postings for tryouts in Late June early July....AND the ensuing disucssion of when it's appropriate to have tryouts and post for tryouts. Not everyone is playing PGF.

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