To speak up or not speak up?

[chapelhillbilly]

My daughter is on a 10u rec team this year after leaving a travel team (which is kind of still in limbo right now-but I digress). The girls are not bad players at all but the coaches don't seem to know much of anything. The girls don't know how to steal. They didn't even attempt to steal 2nd on a walk. The 3rd base coach had about 4 different wild pitches that he could have had the girl steal 3rd and he left her standing on 2nd. And the girl is lightning fast. I mentioned on another thread that they don't know that SS is to cover 2nd base on a throwdown. The pitching is slower than what my husband pitches to his 8u team. Watching them play is painful. How do I approach the coaches or should I even attempt to approach them? I don't want to be a know-it-all parent but they seem to need some help. I've offered for the team to come to my house to bat off our pitching machine so they could at least get their batting quicker but the coaches didn't seem to think they needed it. I had one of the coaches wives make a comment to me last night that she knew the team was really bad but that her daughter would probably make all-stars and be on a better team. They are not going to even be able to see a girl showcase her skills if no one else can help her do that. And a girl who doesn't know how to steal isn't going to make all-stars.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

The DD of a coaches wife will most probably make the All Stars, if it is like other teams I have seen.

You can offer to help, once, but don't be disappointed if they don't want to hear from a woman. That has been my experience, over all.

 

[fastpitch5]

speak up. just be tactful about it, and it sounds like you are. maybe familiarize yourself with the rec league rules, too. there may be a reason why they're not stealing or doing other things that are considered "softball 101" for a travel team. altho at 10u, the rules are probably generally similar. i like the ask a lot of questions approach to see why they do things the way they do. maybe they are doing things like they are for a reason (trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here!), but it really sounds like they are not well versed in the game.

 

[fastpitch5]

The DD of a coaches wife will most probably make the All Stars, if it is like other teams I have seen.

You can offer to help, once, but don't be disappointed if they don't want to hear from a woman. That has been my experience, over all.

honestly, amy, i keep at least one female coach on my dd's team. last year we had two. i think it makes the girls more comfortable at the younger ages. maybe i'm odd...

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Thanks for the reminder about local rules. You may be right.

I am glad that you welcome females to your coaching group. I am certain that you are not odd.

But, since I have only lived around here 3 years, I find it hard to break into "the old boys club." I can teach baseball as well as I can softball, but my students are 99% female. I even asked a group of baseball dads (on the Internet), if they would hire a woman coach and most said "No."

 

[obbay]

The DD of a coaches wife will most probably make the All Stars, if it is like other teams I have seen.

That's been my experience, too. also high on the list are friends of the DD and DDs of the coaches friends.

You can offer to help, once, but don't be disappointed if they don't want to hear from a woman. That has been my experience, over all.

We have some women coaches in our league and they are accepted but there are always exceptions. Especially if you know more than they (the coach) do and could show them up.

 

[chapelhillbilly]

Thanks for ya'lls advise. You may be right on the coach's daughter making all-stars. She is a very good player but it is her first year for 10U and has alot to learn before she makes all-stars in my opinion.

As far as learning the rules, that is the first thing I do before playing in any tourny/league. With travel we played in about 3 or 4 different organizations and all had slightly different rules and I always tried to read up on them before we played. I do not want to offend the coaches and seem like I'm criticizing them. My husband coaches my younger daughter so I know what it's like when you have parents that think they know everything. I may just have to sit back and bite my tongue. It is killing me though. Especially when she knows better and they are telling her wrong. I don't want her to argue with them and be one of those kids that says "well, my daddy said..." I don't know what to do. I just know I'm really getting frustrated.

 

[mad hornet]

I think you need to find a travel team - fast. In our local rec league they are only allowed to steal 3rd. If a batter gets walked, she doesn't get first. A coach comes in and pitches three pitches that she'll either hit or strike out. Not for my dds.

Had a similar situation in our rec league when my girls were 8U. Head coach was a woman. Any attempt to help her only served to alienate us as parents as she took it as criticism. Next thing my dd was batting bottom of the order. Now both my girls are thriving in travel and having LOTS more fun. The old coach wasn't happy! We weren't the only family that bailed on the rec system.

At any rate, I think you're in for a season of bad softball. This wil only take your dd backward in developing her skills.

 

[stephanie]

Had a similar situation in our rec league when my girls were 8U. Head coach was a woman. Any attempt to help her only served to alienate us as parents as she took it as criticism.

you know, maybe it's because I'm still reeling from the amount of tax I had to pay this year, or because my 7 yo son kept me up all night, or because I'm a woman and we're just, you, know, HORMONAL....
But WHAT THE HECK does this coach being a woman have to do with the fact that parents' attempt to help were taken as criticism?

huh?

 

[mad hornet]

you know, maybe it's because I'm still reeling from the amount of tax I had to pay this year, or because my 7 yo son kept me up all night, or because I'm a woman and we're just, you, know, HORMONAL....
But WHAT THE HECK does this coach being a woman have to do with the fact that parents' attempt to help were taken as criticism?

huh?

Did you read the entire thread?

If you had you would see mention of "good ole boys club" etc. My only point was that it really doesn't matter if you're dealing with a man or woman. Coaches have egos regardless.

Easy!