Suggestions on how to dismiss a player from the team

[letsmow10]

Hello all,
I am the head coach for a 14u B travel team. I have a player that has either been sick or someone in the family has been sick for our last 3 practices. I even offered to go pick her up and take her home after practice when she wasn't the one sick but the parent declined. I will add that I have doubts about the sickness due to photos posted late at night on social media but obviously, I have no proof. This player is the weakest on the team both offensively and defensively and needs to be putting in the most work but that is not happening. Most recently, they are now saying they can't afford to travel to a couple of our upcoming 2-day tournaments that are about a 1.5-hour drive. I understand money is tight for a lot of us at the moment but I have to have committed players and I just don't think she is it, unfortunately. To make this even harder I have known this kid and her family for several years and I am struggling with how to handle letting her go even though I know it is the right thing to do for the team. I have never had to deal with this before so any suggestions from coaches who have experience in this area are greatly appreciated.

 

[rjgarcia76]

Generally I don't like to cut a player mid-season unless it's an extreme situation. However, I do believe in holding people accountable for their own decisions. You'll have to weigh out what is right for you and your team.

You mentioned she is the weakest player on the team, but does she have something else to contribute to the team (positive energy, etc.)? Are her family members a blessing to have around or are they a detriment to the team? If this player/her family are not a cancer to your organization (and not likely to become a cancer going forward with some tough love), I'd probably hold off on dismissing her from the team right at this moment.

Do you have the kind of relationship with her/her family that you can have a frank discussion with them? I would explain that while she is still a part of the team, playing time is not guaranteed and the amount of playing time she'll see is directly related to her attendance and performance; neither of which are acceptable currently. Clearly explain what the expectations are and how they are not meeting them. This puts their fate directly in their own hands and it could motivate them to do better. It might also prompt them to walk away of their own accord. Either way it will also let the other players/families see that there are consequences for not meeting agreed upon expectations for the team.

On the other hand, if you think it might all blow up then it's not worth wrecking your entire team dynamic and you should just have the tough conversation letting them go.

 

[El Oso]

Hello all,
I am the head coach for a 14u B travel team. I have a player that has either been sick or someone in the family has been sick for our last 3 practices. I even offered to go pick her up and take her home after practice when she wasn't the one sick but the parent declined. I will add that I have doubts about the sickness due to photos posted late at night on social media but obviously, I have no proof. This player is the weakest on the team both offensively and defensively and needs to be putting in the most work but that is not happening. Most recently, they are now saying they can't afford to travel to a couple of our upcoming 2-day tournaments that are about a 1.5-hour drive. I understand money is tight for a lot of us at the moment but I have to have committed players and I just don't think she is it, unfortunately. To make this even harder I have known this kid and her family for several years and I am struggling with how to handle letting her go even though I know it is the right thing to do for the team. I have never had to deal with this before so any suggestions from coaches who have experience in this area are greatly appreciated.

Questions - Why do you feel the need to cut her? Is she current on her dues? What is she hurting by not being there?

 

[letsmow10]

Generally I don't like to cut a player mid-season unless it's an extreme situation. However, I do believe in holding people accountable for their own decisions. You'll have to weigh out what is right for you and your team.

You mentioned she is the weakest player on the team, but does she have something else to contribute to the team (positive energy, etc.)? Are her family members a blessing to have around or are they a detriment to the team? If this player/her family are not a cancer to your organization (and not likely to become a cancer going forward with some tough love), I'd probably hold off on dismissing her from the team right at this moment.

Do you have the kind of relationship with her/her family that you can have a frank discussion with them? I would explain that while she is still a part of the team, playing time is not guaranteed and the amount of playing time she'll see is directly related to her attendance and performance; neither of which are acceptable currently. Clearly explain what the expectations are and how they are not meeting them. This puts their fate directly in their own hands and it could motivate them to do better. It might also prompt them to walk away of their own accord. Either way it will also let the other players/families see that there are consequences for not meeting agreed upon expectations for the team.

On the other hand, if you think it might all blow up then it's not worth wrecking your entire team dynamic and you should just have the tough conversation letting them go.

Thank you for the input. She is a good kid but unfortunately I don't think she really wants to continue to play at this level. Her parents have also recently started causing some drama behind the scenes by talking to other parents and voicing their displeasure with my decision to not let the player catch or get the playing time they would like her to have. I just had a conversation with the parent yesterday about cutting that out and coming to me with any concerns and not talking amongst other parents about it because they just come to me and it creates a bad atmosphere. Then today they spring not being able to afford to go to these tournaments on me. I just have a hard time believing that is the real cause and believe it is just another excuse or easy out. Again, thank you for taking time to respond.

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[sluggers]

To make this even harder I have known this kid and her family for several years and I am struggling with how to handle letting her go even though I know it is the right thing to do for the team. I have never had to deal with this before so any suggestions from coaches who have experience in this area are greatly appreciated.

How long is your season? When are players supposed to sign-up for the next season?

 

[letsmow10]

Questions - Why do you feel the need to cut her? Is she current on her dues? What is she hurting by not being there?

Generally speaking, she isnt hurting anything. I honestly would rather her not be there at this point but from my point of view the lack of commitment that is being shown by not coming to practice and now not showing for tournaments. As I said I offered 2 times to take her to and from practice and have offered to take her to tournaments. She is taking a place on the roster for someone who wants to be there and who has the drive to improve. I'm all for working with a player to help them improve but unfortunately for me she's not showing it and is just starting to drag others down with the lack of commitment and effort.

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[letsmow10]

How long is your season? When are players supposed to sign-up for the next season?

The season will end in November.

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[El Oso]

and is just starting to drag others down with the lack of commitment and effort.

How is that happening? Are others starting to miss practices? Tournaments?

 

[El Oso]

The season will end in November.

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Never heard of this. Usually seasons start anew in the Fall. Age brackets change at that point so teams generally do as well.

 

[Orange Socks]

No need to have a set amount of rostered players. What's preventing you from adding another player...or 2? End of the season should be the last summer tourney. November is excessive and unheard of. At 14U is when players/families is the age when they start figuring out if they want to do this or not. DD joined an already formed team full of 14U misfits that had almost all the previous players stop playing after a year. I was glad to leave that team.

I would have a "temperature check" with the family to make sure they want to be there. Hey Family, lil Susie has missed a lot of practices lately, and you said you won't be able to make some upcoming tourneys. I wanted to make sure our team is still a good fit for you. If you are not interested in playing with us or only want to be a part time player I need to know so I can make arrangements. If you don't want to play with us or don't want to play softball anymore, no hard feelings. I would hope that you would want to continue to play even if it's on another team.