My entry would go something like this:
Here we have MAMBM. [See photo that only shows the top of my head, sporting team logo hat, as I am holding piles of food, clothing, blankets, a portable heater, water bottles, and a fan] She likes long walks from the parking lot, Summer evenings on the bleachers, and nonsensical conversations at 5am about hydration and punctuality. Her claim to fame is that she can get white pants white again - and she carries her balls with her because you never know when you'll need them. And the best thing about her? She *always* has a pen, sunblock, and throat lozenges that mysteriously taste like lotion in her purse.
HAWWWWT, ammIright??
SSSSSOOOOOOOOO Hott!!!!