my dd wants to go back to FL to play ball ?

[catcher23]

my dd is 15 and for last 6 months she want to go back to FL to play softball . We moved up here to NY 2yrs ago and she been great. she is playing ball with a showcase team this year but the team just doesn't have enough to offer her. its great that the coach adores her ,she is a leader on this team both physically and mental . she is the kind of player that all coaches want aleast 1 or 2 solid core players. the problem is that we are having, is she is not happy with herself, I let her go about 6 weeks ago to play for her old team in FL and when she came back she was the dd that she used to be 2 yrs ago. she was just such a different person , she had that spark in her eyes again. the night I picked her up at the airport all she said was, that was the best feeling to be back home and playing real softball again MOM. I have talked to my sister who still lives in FL ,there is not problem with my dd staying in FL ! but there is no way I can let her go ! I'm I being selfish !!! the only thing I regret in my life is not living for my dreams , but living someone else's . so now the table has turned . what would you all do in my situation ? let her live out her dream of softball since she was 4yrs old or have her wish she could of!!!!!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

As someone who lived 50 years in Central IL (cold winters) and moved to Tucson, AZ., you cannot imagine the difference between playing ball outside 6 months out of the year, to playing it 12 months out of the year. The dumbest thing we ever did was raise our kids in that region. Sure, they played a little in other sports, but we were baseball/softball people. One did stay there, the rest of my adult children are here in AZ.

I don't think anyone can understand those of us that think about softball almost every waking moment. Don't expect others to understand her decision. She wants to go. She has tried NY. It isn't like she wants to go to be with her BF. She wants to go live her life.

 

[PEPPERS]

As a loving dad who loves his DD I can understand where you are coming from.

Some of the best SB players come from FL and CA and I think this is why they can play more months that most other locations. If your DD loves SB that much it would be hard for me to not see her follow her dream.

MY DD is 18 and starting her secound year in college SB and she is hours away from home and I can tell you not seeing her every day has been hard on me, I try to think she is where she is happy.

 

[SCDad]

New York and Florida are worlds apart. I grew up in NY and have lived in the South for 32 years.

I would not entertain any thoughts of moving North until my 16 year-old ballplayer is 18 and can choose her life.

This problem is much more than softball, and how good, or not good the team is in NY. It is about her roots, playing ball with friends, and having a more fulfilled life.

I would have a hard time letting my daughter leave at 15 years old, but then I would not have moved in the first place until she is 18. In the economy folks have to do what they have to to stay employed. Less that, moving for a better job, to have more money, or a spouse, you caused this situation.

What is now happening is very predictable, and should have been factored in when deciding to move a few years ago.

I have turned down better jobs, gotten extreme pressure from work to move. But have stood my ground until my DD is 18. Then I am sure I will be shipped out somewhere.

This is entirely your decision, of a problem that you caused.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Less that, moving for a better job, to have more money, or a spouse, you caused this situation.

That's pretty presumptuous on your part. You have NO idea what the family situation is.

 

[SCDad]

Taken out of context, which is exactly what you did, possibly so.

I am a single dad, whose wife and mother of my only child passed away, I do not make ANY decision without carefully considering what the consequences will be for my ballplayer.

I have a responsibility to her until she is 18 years old. This is the primal responsibility. I do not know why this parent moved, I prefaced the sentence properly. The point is this parent LEFT her daughter's roots.

I choose not to LEAVE my daughters roots, without knowing full well, I am leaving her ... eventually. It is not rocket science.

Money, spouse, whatever it is, I know the end result, and carefully factor this into my decisions. For now it is more important to be around my daughter, possibly forever it will be. Eventually she will leave me. But it will be hard for me to leave her, which essentially this mom did, without knowing it, and quite possibly (maybe presumptuous here) thinking of her life before her daughters,

 

[catcher23]

I never left my daughter she is sitting next to me right now! I have given her everything. my husband and moved to Fl when she was 3months old so her roots r here in ny , I was just asking for suggestions or if anyone else has been through this .

 

[SCDad]

Yeah, I guess I have been presumptuous. But I bet your daughter thinks I am on her side, because I probably am.

Being from New York, the adjustment especially for a young person from the south is dramatic. My daughter does not like "yankees" even though I am one. She has trouble with everything about them. I have been "southernized" but still am considered a "damn yankee". I don't know how your daughter does it. Much stronger than mine. To move from Florida to New York is the exact opposite of what is happening now a days. I congratulate your daughter for making the best of the adjustment

Very soon, your daughter will be making the calls in her life. Mine already does so. It is up to the parents to decide if what she wants is in her best interest. Being a single dad, my perspective is skewed. Mine always decides differently than I would, most because she is a female, and I am not.

Much depends on how responsible she is, and how her decisions pan out. Mine makes different decisions that almost always work out, so I just let her tell me what she want (gee, surprising) and I comply. So far so good.

It is a good problem to have. Play in the Norheast, and probably get a scholarship in the Northeast. Play in Florida, and possibly get a big scholarship in the south. what does she want her future to be?

 

[catcher23]

my husband and I have sat down with her and talked about everything . its pretty much her discussion she is going back to FL in 2 weeks to play softball for the rest of the summer .she will be traveling with her team ,and staying with my sister till school starts up here again. this will be her time to figure it out. leaving for a week or leaving for 6 weeks is a lot different. we both have supported her that's why she still playing ball in FL . things always happen for a reason. I guess we will know more in early sept. and we r not Yankees fans their r to many up here !!

 

[fastpitchdad8]

Yeah, I guess I have been presumptuous.

yep.......