how do you start the fire?

[Amy in AZ.]

Oh, if she is on the bench, that wouldn't be any fun at all. I would personally go back down to rec, for the spring season and see if she gets her love of the game back.

 

[JJsqueeze]

just keep it fun. Throw in the demanding part, but say 10% hard nosed dad pushing her to be her best and 90% goofball dad who rubs his hands and pretends it hurts after a good throw. For batting practice, use fruit or eggs once in a while, for pitching practice pretend to fall over backwards on a good pitch.

I throw these things into practice here and there and they love it. Then I give them pushups when they don't focus so they don't think I'm too much of a softy.

 

[GatorGirl]

FastPitch said it right. You will get WAY more out of them if you have at least one more kid working with you. I have another girl come over on Sundays. They are friendly, but not best pals or anything. But when they get together, I can get 1 1/2 hours out of them without even trying and they are begging for more. I don't know why, but it works!

 

[Changeupmom]

Speaking as a counselor. Abstract thought comes at about 9 10 or 11, maturity effects it. Concrete thought is before. Concrete thought is black and white, it is or it isn't. Abstract thought has a much better understanding of cause and effect and that there is grey in the world. The thought processes will come but can not be pushed. Cognitive abilities are developmental. My kid at 9 wanted to have fun and didn't understand what practice does. Just because adults have the correct thought pattern and know how to better a skill, doesn't mean the kid does yet. Have fun, play, laugh. These times will be gone sooner then you think. My dd at 18 is all work and little play. Be patient, 9 year olds also are very peer influenced. They are just beginning to test the waters of independence. BFFS now are acquaintance's later.

 

[Cannonball]

My dd was always raised on a ball diamond or in a gym. I thought she'd be a great basketball player. She has mad skills and can really play. She hates basketball. She loves softball. I guess one of the differences is that early on, she went to our HS games and watched their practices while I coached the boys baseball team. Before you knew it, she was carrying her glove around, shagging foul balls, chasing balls over the fence, ... By the time she was in 7th grade, she was shagging on the field. We made sure to buy her HS Softball shirts to wear to support the team. We made sure she had the best equipment when she played. When she was very young, she met Lisa Fernandez and then Jenny Finch. We took her to the "tour" where the Olympic Team played various area all star teams. She watched the Olympics. She and her TB team watched the college world series together for so many years.

From a playing perspective, we never put any pressure on her. She did that herself. At times, we thought that was a sickness. This weekend, she gave lessons. When those lessons were done, she got out her wooden bat and went to work. Sometimes a part of what you ask just evolves. I wish I had the answers for you. Good Luck!

 

[sluggers]

She is only 9 so the attention span plays a role in it, but what have you guys done to help set the fire in the girls hearts... just dont get how players dont want to do the best they can everytime they are out there

You've got it backwards.

You expose your child to lots of different activities...drama, softball, basketball, singing, music... when she is young. She will gravitate to one of those activities. Then, you help her be the best she can be at what *SHE* wants to do.

My DD#1 was a great softball player. So, we took DD#3 to every softball game DD#1 played, and DD#3 was playing TB much earlier than DD#1. But, every chance she got, DD#3 was shooting a basketball. If it was between practicing softball or shooting hoops, DD#3 would shoot hoops.

Your DD will start figuring things out around 11YOA. Until then, enjoy this time. She will grow up very, very fast. You don't want to miss it.

And, as usual, Amy is absolutely is correct...she isn't going to love anything by sitting on the bench watching someone else play.

 

[bpeck]

I totally agree with you.. she does basketball, volleyball, dance, and everything else.. she decides what she wants to do, she likes them all, but it seems like she is that way with everything.. just curious if that "fire" come from inside of them when they are ready because i know its in there.. just wanted to see if you guys did anything to help it come out a little earlier.. ha I completely support her in whatever she decides to do. I thank all of you for your input on this subject.

 

[knightsb]

I was able to start the fire with my DD when I quit being such a jerk to her. This was a process since I had a history being one. It took a long time for my DD to trust I wouldn't get frustrated or mad when she had a bad day in the circle or at the plate. The DFP forums showed me a better way. We have completely flipped. It used to be me dragging DD out to practice, now she asks me. I think the key is for DD knowing she has her dad as her number one supporter no matter how things go.

Make sure you always have a good ratio of Praise to Criticism, and remember not all Criticism is created equal. Try to make softball games and practice fun, and always try to end on a positive note. Help your DD understand how life lessons experienced in softball can be used to help her navigate situations away from the game.

At some point expect to become more of a cheerleader, and psychologist than coach.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I was able to start the fire with my DD when I quit being such a jerk to her.

LOL! That's a great line. ...

Also like what you said here -

It took a long time for my DD to trust I wouldn't get frustrated or mad when she had a bad day in the circle or at the plate.

I still get frustrated and mad sometimes, but I keep it to myself. At least I try my best to do that. I realize that's entirely my problem, not hers, and she has a right to be free of my issues, which are to take too seriously the results of her at-bats. I believe it's OK to live through our children a little, as long as we know we're doing it and make sure that nobody gets hurt because of it.

 

[Momo'sDad]

i think this year will be a more difficult one for her. She is in her first year on the 10U travel ball team, so she doesnt get much playing time.

That's the wrong team for her. Every 10u team should be focused on player development, which is achieved by ensuring each player is getting plenty of playing time. This is tweaked slightly during the final month or so for 2nd-year 10u teams gearing up for Nationals.