DD hurt this weekend

[vcackerman]

For those talking about using softees indoors, here in the Midwest we have several indoor turf fields that use the hard balls since they are fields made for this type of activity.

 

[mosftballdad]

OILF...I need to clarify...that was my daughter saying that not the coach. My DD was upset she couldn't get back in time to at least cheer. I talked to the coach briefly today about team insurance to pay for the ct scan that is now needed. She never offered anything or even asked how she was doing. I'm trying to take into consideration that she is young and may not know how to handle this but to not even ask...

 

[Sparky Guy]

OILF...I need to clarify...that was my daughter saying that not the coach. My DD was upset she couldn't get back in time to at least cheer. I talked to the coach briefly today about team insurance to pay for the ct scan that is now needed. She never offered anything or even asked how she was doing. I'm trying to take into consideration that she is young and may not know how to handle this but to not even ask...

After reading your ongoing diatribe over one incident I was going to pound a long response but decided against it. Rather, I think this is more fitting.

Kids get hurt playing the game. It especially sucks when it's your DD. Coaches sometimes hurt kids on accident. You and your daughter made the decision to forgo wearing a mask. Put your Big Boy pants on, deal with it, and quit blaming the coach for everything.

Talk to the head of the organization about insurance. NOT the coach. They have ZERO to do with it other than keep proof of it with them during team functions.

 

[Coachw01]

We decide to take her to the hospital and tell the coach we are leaving. "Ok, let me know how she is." An hour later xrays show it is broke but luckily nothing else is broken or fractured. About 3:00 we are leaving the hospital and we get check on the team and they are eliminated so we head for home.

I guess for me I keep going back to this in the original quote. I won't argue that she should have called to check on her but isn't it possible since she said "let me know how she is" she was expecting a call/text/email from you? Anyway, hard to tell without being involved but I wish you and your DD the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I guess for me I keep going back to this in the original quote. I won't argue that she should have called to check on her but isn't it possible since she said "let me know how she is" she was expecting a call/text/email from you? Anyway, hard to tell without being involved but I wish you and your DD the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

If you go back to the original post. The coach contacted the family the next day at 8:00 A.M. asking about the injured player because the parents never contacted her with an update as to the player's condition. I'd say that was being concerned about one of her players. The dad had time to talk to other families, but not the coach?????

I know when I've had players injured I ask the parents to call me with an update when they can. As a coach, have no idea what is going on and I don't want to bother a family when they are trying to get their DD taken care of.

 

[mosftballdad]

Sparky I was waiting for you to show up. I do have my big boy pants on and I'm not blaming the coach for anything. It was an accident and I get that. Yes we let DD choose not to wear a mask and assumed the risk that came with that. I have never had a coach that didn't check up on a kid the same day. It is not my experience that coaches do that even when the coach says let me know. Yes I did communicate with other parents but they were reaching out to me and I took the time to respond to them. I've also never seen a coach not show compassion to a player that got hurt by a thrown or batted ball by them by at least saying "I'm sorry you got hurt." Maybe we have been spoiled in the past by coaches that were overly concerned. Just seemed off to me. As far as the insurance goes everything flows through the coach since they have the information.

The coach is a good coach overall.

Coachw01 - I have said when I was a coach and have heard other coaches say "call me with an update" but if don't hear something by the time the day is done or later that evening they are calling or sending a text to check on them. That is just what we are used to and if it's not the norm then so be it.

 

[Momo'sDad]

"Ok, let me know how she is."

One of the fortunate parts about life is that we're all different. One of the unfortunate aspects, however, is that we communicate differently and have different expectations for others when bad things happen to us.

The HC requested that you let her know how your player was doing. It would've taken you a minute to send her a quick text that evening or maybe 2-3 minutes to give her an update over the phone. For whatever reason, you did not do that, and that's fine. But what you're saying in your post here is that you expected her to be the one to reach out to you. My wife would have the same expectation you do. I do not.

If I was with my DD at the ER, I wouldn't want to be bothered by the outside world, but depending on the severity of the injury, I'd probably update her grandparents and shoot a note to the HC. I would appreciate the HC being respectful of our space, which is what was indicated by her statement, "Ok, let me know how she is."

I know the coach feels badly about what happened. I feel confident in saying that more than 99% of adults don't like seeing players get hurt. The coach didn't do anything negligent to cause the injury, the ball just took a bad hop. You want to hear the words "I'm sorry" from the coach. My wife is like that, too. Even if the words are meaningless to the person saying them, she wants the person she believes caused her harm to say them. That's weird to me, but it's just how she is.

I'm sorry that your DD's nose was broken, but as I read your post - and I recognize that what happened is still fresh with you - it seems that you except the HC to accept and acknowledge her culpability for the injury and I could not agree with you on that.

This is all about differences in communication and expectations.

 

[mosftballdad]

A few years back I was coaching DD. She was pitching and the girl batting did not have a mask on her helmet. Sure enough a foul ball busted her square in the mouth. Off she went to the ER. I didn't know the girl but I did know the coach pretty well. I asked him to let me know how she was doing when he talked to them. On the way home my DW and DD got rear ended and ended up going to the ER. It turns out is was the same ER that this girl went to. I walked in and saw them getting something to drink for the ride home. I walked over to the family looked at the girl said "sorry you got hurt...how are you feeling?" Got the update from the parents and wished her the best. I found out from their coach that they thought it was very nice that I stopped to ask about her. I didn't have to...I did nothing wrong nor did my DD just thought it was the thing to do.

 

[Sparky Guy]

This has nothing to do with masks or big boy pants. As a coach, I check on all injured players.

The Coach asked to be updated. The Coach called the next morning at 8:00 AM asking how the player was. I would call that checking up on an injured player after being asked to be updated and not receiving any information from the family. The coach had only received second hand information from other team members the dad communicated with.

For some reason the OP has a huge hang up over an "I'm sorry." from the coach. The Coach hit a ball that took a bad hop. It happens. If anyone has coached for any period of time you've hurt athletes at one time or another by accident.

The Coach could've hit a 1,000 balls in the same spot without the bad hop and nothing would have been said. I've had it happen to my players on balls I've hit and my assistants hit. You hit enough balls in practice you WILL miss-hit some. I've been hit by errant throws and batted balls as a coach. It's part of the sport and you must accept and know these things will happen. If the athlete is hurt you take care of them. Otherwise you ask them if they are good to go and proceed with the rest of the activity if they are OK. I do everything in my power to keep my players and anyone around field free of injury.

When my oldest DD was a freshman she took a thrown ball to the face as a base runner during HS practice. This was before mandatory masks on batting helmets. A fielder missed a thrown ball and it hit my DD. The ball broke her nose and fractured her left orbital socket bad enough she needed surgery. I never once looked for an apology from anyone. It's just something that happened. Nothing malicious or careless was being done.

 

[mosftballdad]

The "I'm sorry" that should be directed to DD is a sign of compassion to HER...not me. It wasn't a bad hop it was a very hard hit ball to a player that was set too close to the coach for such a hard hit. It was hit so hard that the girls around her said she had no time to react. That's a lot more than just a bad hop. DD has some of the fastest reflexes I have seen on the field and she never had a chance. It was an accident but the coach played a part and a simple "I'm sorry" goes a long way with a player. The other girls know that she didn't say it and it goes in the back of their mind.