We have to be VERRRY careful how we perceive a violation that is better to ignore than to be over-officious and ruthlessly enforce. Ignoring a violation for the sake of keeping the peace is very treacherous ground that should only be ventured upon by those who understand its repercussions and know that the best solution is to let it slide. The OP, in my opinion, was definitely not one of them.The purpose of my overly long post was to present a unique game ending play and see what discussion would ensue. But it was also about a certain type of umpire that I've seen from the coach's side and worked with as an umpire. I spent a lot of time and used an awful lot of words to try to describe what you nailed in just that first half of one sentence. Thank you.
Here's an example of what I think can be ignored. Pitcher is on the plate looking in at her signs. She then puts her hands together. Suddenly, a wasp starts flying around her face, and she separates her hands to start swatting at the wasp while running away from the circle. Did she violate a rule? Yes, she separated her hands while on the plate which marks the beginning of a pitch, and she didn't follow through with that pitch. Would it be better to call Time and ignore the infraction, or rule an illegal pitch? I hope it's pretty obvious what should be done here.
One that is not as obvious: batter-runner reaches first base on a walk. Ball goes back into the circle while the BR removes her elbow guard and tries to hand it to her base coach, but it falls on the ground. BR reaches down to pick up the guard, and she loses contact with first base. Did she violate a rule? Yes, she came off the bag while the ball was in the circle, when she's supposed to stay in contact with it until the pitcher releases the pitch. Should that be ignored given that she was simply picking up her guard to hand it to her coach, and the violation had zero bearing on the game itself, or call her out? I leave it up to you to decide.
Yes, game management involves a number of things that we gain through experience. We just have to be careful when we stretch our authority into areas where game management can cause more problems than fix. It's a delicate balance, and if you don't have a feel for it yet, it's better to go by the book to stay out of trouble.