Needing Advice

[2x softball dad]

Hey all,
I wanted to get some of your thoughts on a situation with my daughter's 10U travel team. This was our 2nd yr doing this....and it was horrible. We played in 8-9 three-game guarantee tournaments this year and won 2 games, and the ones that we lost.....we lost horribly with our last game this weekend being a 27-0 spanking.

The coach is a good guy who tries. It's definitely not because of a lack of effort on his part, we've practiced all year, 2-4 times a week and usually 3 hr practices. He's very competitive, which is great, but it gets to a point in the games where he's gets mad when the girls make mistakes and he yells at them, then the girls get upset and it all goes to pot for the rest of the day. The other teams would always hope to play us because they knew that it would be a win for them.

After the dismal season we've had, us parents have decided to have a meeting amongst ourselves and decide where we want to go going forward, with some of them having already decided that they will not stay with the team because of how it went this year. I have been involved with the current coach over the past 3-4 yrs with both daughters on 5 different teams and they have all had horrible records. Which brings me to the point of this.....I have been asked by some of the parents to take over as the head coach.

A little background about me, I have 2 daughters who have played softball for the past 6 yrs. I have only missed 2 games in that time, I was an assistant coach on two of their teams, (T-ball & 6-8 yr old Minor League, which we were the League Champions) and I've also been a Coordinator. I've been around it enough that I know pretty much all of the rules and what works with girls and what doesn't. Most of what my daughters have learned, I have taught them and they have always had people bragging on how good they play, even complete strangers at the tournaments have mentioned how good my daughters are. They are both very sought out players and while I'm not bragging, I think that it's a testament of how I can get the best out of my girls. Sure, I push them but they can always see the result and are happy with themselves for being able to do something that they thought impossible.

So, my dilemma is.....should I take the team if the current coach leaves or is asked to leave? I think that I could do a good job but I've never been a head coach before. I guess what I'm doing is second guessing myself but has anyone ever been in this position; had a head coach with an awful record, been asked by parents to replace him and been successful? I think that I can turn these girls around, 85% of the team is very talented, I've seen how good they can be but the current coach can't seem to bring out their best when they get on the playing field.

Any suggestions?

 

[Ken Krause]

Sounds like you want to do it. I'd say go ahead and give it a try. From what you describe you'd have to work pretty hard to do any worse than the previous coach, so that's a good thing.

My very first year of coaching softball I took over for a guy who had been reasonably successful. I didn't know much about the specifics of fastpitch -- like many dads I was a former baseball player. But it was 12U, so I figured what the heck, I'd give it a try. Now it's 18 years later and I still enjoy it.

If you can give the girls a positive experience and help them improve their skills and knowledge of the game you'll be ahead of the game. The rest will take care of itself.

 

[Mike]

Do any of them cry when they strike out? aawwww.........never mind.


Go for it man! Like Ken said you cant do any worse.

we've practiced all year, 2-4 times a week and usually 3 hr practices.

Thats a red flag for me, at least the 3 hr practices. He obviously wasnt teaching them anything worth while and I'll bet the kids were crazy bored after about an hour and a half. Thats alot for 10 uers, even 12 uers.

 

[rachelsdad]

Hey all,
I wanted to get some of your thoughts on a situation with my daughter's 10U travel team. This was our 2nd yr doing this....and it was horrible. We played in 8-9 three-game guarantee tournaments this year and won 2 games, and the ones that we lost.....we lost horribly with our last game this weekend being a 27-0 spanking.

The coach is a good guy who tries. It's definitely not because of a lack of effort on his part, we've practiced all year, 2-4 times a week and usually 3 hr practices. He's very competitive, which is great, but it gets to a point in the games where he's gets mad when the girls make mistakes and he yells at them, then the girls get upset and it all goes to pot for the rest of the day. The other teams would always hope to play us because they knew that it would be a win for them.

After the dismal season we've had, us parents have decided to have a meeting amongst ourselves and decide where we want to go going forward, with some of them having already decided that they will not stay with the team because of how it went this year. I have been involved with the current coach over the past 3-4 yrs with both daughters on 5 different teams and they have all had horrible records. Which brings me to the point of this.....I have been asked by some of the parents to take over as the head coach.

A little background about me, I have 2 daughters who have played softball for the past 6 yrs. I have only missed 2 games in that time, I was an assistant coach on two of their teams, (T-ball & 6-8 yr old Minor League, which we were the League Champions) and I've also been a Coordinator. I've been around it enough that I know pretty much all of the rules and what works with girls and what doesn't. Most of what my daughters have learned, I have taught them and they have always had people bragging on how good they play, even complete strangers at the tournaments have mentioned how good my daughters are. They are both very sought out players and while I'm not bragging, I think that it's a testament of how I can get the best out of my girls. Sure, I push them but they can always see the result and are happy with themselves for being able to do something that they thought impossible.

So, my dilemma is.....should I take the team if the current coach leaves or is asked to leave? I think that I could do a good job but I've never been a head coach before. I guess what I'm doing is second guessing myself but has anyone ever been in this position; had a head coach with an awful record, been asked by parents to replace him and been successful? I think that I can turn these girls around, 85% of the team is very talented, I've seen how good they can be but the current coach can't seem to bring out their best when they get on the playing field.

Any suggestions?

Main infraction of coaching girls in bold.
"The difference between boys and girls is boys have to play good to feel good, girls have to feel good to play good". --- Mike Candrea

 

[CoogansBluff]

Main infraction of coaching girls in bold.
"The difference between boys and girls is boys have to play good to feel good, girls have to feel good to play good". --- Mike Candrea

Not only that, but what is there to get mad about? You teach them. They try it. If they don't get it right, you keep teaching. I'm not saying coaches should never get mad, but if a coach gets too mad too often, that tells me that he or she is coaching for the wrong reasons, usually to fill his/her own competitive desires and not to develop players and make the game better for them, IMO.

 

[MagicDad]

If you take over coaching the team you'll be in the same situation that the current coach is in now. Maybe not the yelling part but the part with the parents wanting to get another coach at the end of the year. You have to remember how important 10U softball is. Most parents think thier DD are going to play in college and be on the USA team. If these girls are practicing and playing as much as you say they are, then it's either they weren't coached correctly for a whole year or they aren't that good. And if it's the second you'll be that coach again.

Taking over someone elses team is not the right thing to do. If you think you could do a better job talk to the coach and see if you can work something out were you are helping him or start a new team. And if you start a new team I think you'll be surprised how many of the complaining parents go with you. It won't be as many as you thought.

As to the coach yelling at the players, that just wrong. Has he always been that type of coach, if he is why did you keep you DD on the team this long. Or does it only happen when he's feeling the pressure, either from the game or from outside the dugout. How is he during practices. I bet you he's brunt out from the long year of coaching (something to look forward to). Maybe it's time for him to go, but I still think a parent taking over is not the answer.

If I were you, I would find another team for my DD's to play on next year and get away from the drama.

 

[sluggers]

First, it is commendable that you want to help the kids. But...you've watched "Rudy" once to often. The bottom line: After all the effort and time Rudy spent on becoming a football player, he still wasn't very good.

I've seen how good they can be but the current coach can't seem to bring out their best when they get on the playing field.

According to the information you provided, the team was 2-25 in tournament play. While the coaching may not have been stellar, the real problem is the players. I've seen teams thrown together on Friday night and with horrible coaches (or no coaches) go .500 at tournaments. So, it is pretty clear that the kids and parents who are clueless about softball.

Realistically, even with a great coach, the team is going to .500.

I think that it's a testament of how I can get the best out of my girls.

You have got a distorted view of reality.

Softball players are made by their parents, not by the coaches. You got the BEST out of *YOUR* own DDs because you are willing to go out in the backyard and work with them. If the other parents on the team aren't willing to spend an hour every day working with their kids, the kids aren't going to get any better.

If you want to coach the team, fine. But, don't pretend that you are going to be able to make the team into contenders.

On the really good team, every child on the team is working individually outside of practice 4 to 5 hours a week--which is probably what you are doing with your children. On a team, you will be able to work individually with each kid maybe 5 minutes a week. The kids on the team will get better, but you aren't going to be able to magically turn them into great players.

What happens, inevitably, is that you will spend less time with your own children, so their skills degrade.

Honestly, you need to find a better team for your kids.

 

[2x softball dad]

According to the information you provided, the team was 2-25 in tournament play. While the coaching may not have been stellar, the real problem is the players. It is pretty clear that you've got kids and parents who are clueless about softball.

I appreciate your response but I'm afraid that I'm going to have to disagree with you there, these kids & parents are not clueless about softball. Last season when this particular coach was focusing more on a 12U team that he tried last year, (which, BTW, were horrible but when the same girls played for another coach this spring, they only lost one game and even beat teams 3 yrs older than them) they done awesome, steadily getting better to where in their last tournament, they lost the championship game by 1 point to the state champs, so they can play softball. Plus we have parents on the team who have been coaches themselves, a couple have even won championships.

Softball players are made by their parents, not by the coaches. You got the BEST out of *YOUR* own DDs because you are willing to go out in the backyard and work with them. If the other parents on the team aren't willing to spend an hour every day working with their kids, the kids aren't going to get any better.

I agree with you there, they can't simply come to practice a couple of times a week and contend, they have to work on it at home. And I know that for most, not all, but most of the girls on the team, that is taking place.

If you want to coach the team, fine. But, don't pretend that you are going to be able to make the team into contenders.

If I only win 3 games.....it will be an improvement!

 

[Momo'sDad]

Hey all,
I wanted to get some of your thoughts on a situation with my daughter's 10U travel team. This was our 2nd yr doing this....and it was horrible. We played in 8-9 three-game guarantee tournaments this year and won 2 games, and the ones that we lost.....we lost horribly with our last game this weekend being a 27-0 spanking.

85% of the team is very talented

If this team is losing by 15-20 runs and is barely scoring, then I'm not sure how much talent this group has. If you've got talented players and are a 2nd-year 10u team, you should be competitive in most every game you play. I don't have a great or even good softball mind, but we've got 5 pretty talented players, so we're able to beat teams that only have 3-4 talented players. We're having success because we've got more good players than they do, not because I've got a better knack for extracting game day effort from 9yo girls than the other coaches out there.

I'm with Sluggers and MagicDad. I would not take over someone else's team under these circumstances. My advice is to form your own team and I would seek to have a core of players whose parents work with them at home away from practice.

3-hour practices for 10yo's is a heavy load, especially if they're doing this up to 4 times a week. We're not a model franchise or anything, but we do 2 x 2 hours a week, then 2 additional for pitchers and catchers (30 min on practice days, 1 hour together on another day).

I admire you for wanting to become a head coach, but you do not have any further obligation to this group at the conclusion of your fall season. BTW, is your DD a pitcher?

 

[howellhandmade]

Well, if the current coach leaves and the team wants to stay together, SOMEBODY has to take a turn in the barrel. Sounds like you want to do it, and that's the only way to find out what would have happened.