How much is too much?

[Pop time 00]

Ok I'm looking for opinions especially from those seasoned parents of older girls. How much is too much softball? I know every kid is different but right now my daughter is practicing 2x a week with her TB team, taking lessons 1x a week, and is playing in the local town league a do they pretty much fill in the other nights with practice and or games. She wasn't going to do the town league but a lot of her friends she has played with a few years are playing there. Now you have weekend tournaments. She is not complaining but I don't want her to burnout. She pretty much practiced all winter. Is she setting up for burnout? Kinda wondering if we should have skipped the local league

 

[slingnit]

When my dd was about 11 she wanted to play every weekend. If her team had an off weekend she wanted to find a pickup team. She was playing every weekend, 2 league games and two practices every week. I had the same concern. I just told her that if she ever was getting tired of playing that much to let me know and just take break. I would much rather her lay off and play less than get so sick of it and quit for good. That went on for a couple of seasons and she slowed down but still played more than most kids until her Jr year of HS. just our experience

 

[sbmom19]

It depends on the kid. My DD is now 16 but when she was 9-12 she played both baseball and softball which meant practice or games 6 days a week (around here nothing happens on Sundays). At 13 she switched to all softball and played on 2 different teams (one rec and one TB). By 14 she was playing 10 months out of the year as well playing middle school basketball and this summer at 16 she will be playing for two different TB teams, one local rec team ("for fun and extra practice" in her words) as well as taking hitting lessons from the head coach of a conference champion NCAA Div 1 school. She is totally driven and sacrifices a lot for a sport that is good to her and that she loves.

 

[YoungBuck]

I think the parents play a huge role in our DDs attitudes towards softball. Whether my DD has a 'full' schedule or something that leaves alot to be desired I try to do anything I can to make it enjoyable. Especially when DD plays on teams that leave a bit to be desired. Ice cream after a game... sunflower seeds in the dugout... it's got to be fun.

 

[Little Angels Softball]

Fun is the key. Not just games, either. If your DD is excited to go to a practice, that's a good team for her. If she isn't excited about practice for a team, it's a big red flag.

Rec ball and travel ball are a very hard mix. It is a lot for a kid. Although my situation is probably a bit different than yours, not one single girl on my 12U team plays rec. I'm very much OK with that.

Now, to be blunt for a moment: Burnout is, in my experience, almost always caused by parents rather than playing too much ball. It is either the parents who coddle a girl (carry her bag, run to the dugout any time she's hit by a ball, do everything for her all the time) or the parents who psychotically control their girl (use signals from the stands to call pitches/steals/swings or tell her to miss two bunts so she can hit away or always talk crap on the coaches where the DD can hear) who fall victim to the phenomenon.

The coddled girl freaks out when she finally gets to a level where the coaches won't put up with her parents doing everything for her and she quits because she actually has to work for once. The controlled girl ends up no different than other rebellious teens who were controlled by their parents but didn't play softball ... she quits as soon as she realizes her parents can't control her anymore.

 

[corlay]

If you are the kind of parent that can just sit back and relax at the rec league games,
(no actively "coaching" from the lawn chair!)
then she'll probably have more fun; just hanging-out with her friends and playing some ball.
Ratchet-up the intensity for Travel practices and/or games, if need be; but keep the rec experience nice and relaxed.

 

[rdbass]

She wasn't going to do the town league

I find that 'town leagues' help DD work on hitting and fielding with less pressure and more fun. Bring lawn chair sit in the outfield and relax.

 

[JJS]

When DD was younger she wanted to play every weekend. As she has gotten older she still loves practice and games, but enjoys her weekends off. We play 3 out of every 4 weekends. Her off weekend is for her to sleep in, hang out with non softball friends and just be a girl. We don't pick up a softball on off weekends.

She practices on her own, with an instructor, or with her team 5 days a week. She desires to be better. So, she is always pushing herself. When I see her start to mentally or physically get worn down I shut her down for 2-3 days. Sometimes it is a fight to get her to take a break, but now that she is older she tends to recognize that she needs it.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Now, to be blunt for a moment:

That was PERFECT!!!!! I can't tell you how many times I've seen kids acting like divas and the parents allow it. Even had one on one of my teams a few years back. She didn't make it through the fall season because I wouldn't put up with her crap. Daddy wore the triple coated parent goggles.

 

[teammom2]

I've wondered that too. Just how much is too much. DD in her 6th TB season and plays A LOT of games/yr plus 2 practices a week and lessons. She also participates in school sports. She's 13 now and so far she is still excited to practice and play. I make sure to ask her if she's still having fun and I let her know it's OK if she's not enjoying it anymore. Some kids are born for constant activity and others aren't.