25 Things you would love to say at work (or on the field)

[WARRIORMIKE]

Got this as an email, just copied it, and took out a couple of the bad words and made it a little more appropriate for the board. Just thought it was funny to flip some of these around and use towards parents or coaches, mostly towards parents. LOL

Enjoy!!


1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of it.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I’ll try being nicer, if you’ll try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don’t work here, I’m a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
10. Ahhh….. I see the screw up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a darn.
14. I am already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I’m not being rude, you’re just insignificant.
16. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
17. And your crybaby whiney-assed opinion would be…..?
18. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer here.
19. If I throw you a stick, will you leave?
20. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
21. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
22. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
23. Chaos, panic, and disorder----my work is done here.
24. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
25. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

 

[T.J.]

Too Funny...and only from you. Glad I had a chance to read it before this bad boy gets locked up and the key gets tossed. I really love 3...and may just actually use it in the future!

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

I hope it doesnt get locked up either.

I liked 4 and 19 myself!! LOL

 

[T.J.]

hahahaha...I can't stop laughing! #2 & #21 are classic too!

 

[Eric F]

Lots of good stuff that is useful in many, many situations.

 

[Classof2020]

#2 is just my fav - never heard that one before!!

 

[guero_gordo]

My corollary to #5. I am not a terrorist, now do what I say and nobody gets hurt.

26. Thank you for your input, now go @#$^ yourself.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

I got one.

A few years ago we bought some decrypted communication devices for our Memphis offices. The company sent out a technician to demonstrate and show us how it all worked. He was a young Asian man and introduced himself as Mr. Yu. At the end of the demonstrations he told us if we have any problems to call or email him personally, he handed each of us his business card. His first name was Foak..................yes that means his name and email was FoakYu@_________industries.

We were all pretty silent when he said his full name, he looked around and laughed and said "yes, my parents really had a sense of humor". Then the whole office laughed along.

Every now and then when the boss is having a good day, he will email a memo and put at the bottom "Any questions please refer them to Foak Yu". It's an office inside joke.

 

[JJsqueeze]

it might be just my lack of filter or my tourette's, but there is nothing on this list that I would hesitate to say to the right person at the right time....

 

[Sweet Lou]

Lotta good ones but my personal fav on the list is #20.