Advice Needed - college freshmen - when to worry?

[_MIA_]

How is she being a leader with you telling her what to do?

All he is telling her (it seems) is to follow her convictions even if it goes against what the crowd is doing. That is just good parenting imo.

I've said this numerous times on here before, but listening to Chris Herren's speeches should be required material for kids entering their teen years.
I grew up with him and saw first hand what happens when nobody gives you this advice..

 

[vicimus]

How is she being a leader with you telling her what to do?

She's 17. I'm her father. It's called *parenting*. Contrary to yet another myth, just because you go off to college and are 17 or 18 or 19 does NOT make you an adult. Regardless of the subject, NOT giving into *peer pressure* is LEADING by DEFINITION.

 

[vicimus]

Till they need those skills in the real world and have to learn them then. My kid handled the socialization piece..as well as athletics...and 3.98 GPA just fine. Sounds like a team culture issue to me. I would say it is not very common to kick that many freshman off a D1 team. But, hey... you do you boo

When the HC has a *come-to-Jesus* meeting w/ the team and tells them in no uncertain terms NOT to do something (e.g. socialize w/ other teams due to COVID) and then that VERY night they ignore his rules and do just that resulting in COVID on 2 teams, it's not a culture issue. It's a PISS-POOR-PARENTING ISSUE AFAIC!

 

[jdint]

All he is telling her (it seems) is to follow her convictions even if it goes against what the crowd is doing. That is just good parenting imo.

OK. Sounds like he is telling her to follow his convictions, but what do I know. I'm clearly a sheep.

 

[_MIA_]

OK. Sounds like he is telling her to follow his convictions, but what do I know. I'm clearly a sheep.

Well here is the deal. From a young age parents try to instill the idea of knowing right from wrong in their kid so inherently, yes, when you say follow your convictions a lot of them are the parents convictions as well....right?

I would never tell my kid not to go to a party if they felt they had time (even though I probably wouldn't have) but I would hope that if somebody was doing a line of coke at a party my convictions would have been transferred to him/her to know that joining in was wrong.

 

[vicimus]

OK. Sounds like he is telling her to follow his convictions, but what do I know. I'm clearly a sheep.

Apparently, you don't recognize the difference between following *authority* and *peers*. BIG DIFFERENCE! And, many of these reshmen who have been suspended MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE FIRST 3 WEEKS were the same ones that HE gave precious athletic $$$ out of HIS budget. TOTAL SLAP IN THE FACE AFAIC!

 

[vicimus]

Well here is the deal. From a young age parents try to instill the idea of knowing right from wrong in their kid so inherently, yes, when you say follow your convictions a lot of them are the parents convictions as well....right?

I would never tell my kid not to go to a party if they felt they had time (even though I probably wouldn't have) but I would hope that if somebody was doing a line of coke at a party my convictions would have been transferred to him/her to know that joining in was wrong.

Parenting Rule #1: Obey my word as if it word the Word of God FIRST TIME your are told!
Parenting Rule #2: See rule #1.

Results? 4.2 GPA HS graduate and accepted at 24 colleges incl. honors college and living HER dream playing DI softball.

 

[PDM]

Hi there! I started posting on here about 3 years ago when DD was a sophomore and we went through a lot with travel teams, recruiting during COVID and she did end up getting a scholarship to play and has been there for about 3 weeks. So my question for those that have been through this - when do you start to worry?? or maybe I should say when do I stop worrying LOL.

She is really struggling socially at this school, the softball team does not do a lot together and just started workouts and practices but according to her there isn't really like a set schedule and she needs structure. It just seems like she is just not thriving yet and really liking it or even excited. Is this normal? I am guessing she is just overwhelmed but I am having a hard time not worrying. She is also playing for a coach that did not recruit her which I know happens all the time, but she said the team is like very divided too. It honestly could just be a bad fit, but am I just freaking out too soon?

I would love to hear of others who may have had similar situations!

Thanks!

Yes, you are freaking out too soon. This is a very different experience for both of you and it takes time to be comfortable with it.

 

[vicimus]

Well here is the deal. From a young age parents try to instill the idea of knowing right from wrong in their kid so inherently, yes, when you say follow your convictions a lot of them are the parents convictions as well....right?

I would never tell my kid not to go to a party if they felt they had time (even though I probably wouldn't have) but I would hope that if somebody was doing a line of coke at a party my convictions would have been transferred to him/her to know that joining in was wrong.

True story. A former DD TB teammate who SOMEHOW despite being extremely average got offered a *power 5* roster slot. Smash cut to week 3 where she got arrested at a party and is now suspended from school AND softball for at least 7 months. This is the same girl whose mother knew she had a fake id in high school and frequently went bar hopping in NYC with her HS peers! SMH

ONCE AGAIN PEOPLE...NOTHING GOOD HAS EVER COME FROM DRINKING AT COLLEGE PARTIES!!

 

[_MIA_]

Parenting Rule #1: Obey my word as if it word the Word of God FIRST TIME your are told!
Parenting Rule #2: See rule #1.

Results? 4.2 GPA HS graduate and accepted at 24 colleges incl. honors college and living HER dream playing DI softball.

Parents play a huge rule obviously but I am not going to sit here and say that behind every failed adult there lies a failure of parenting..sh*& happens sometimes.

I bet William Bulger's parents thought they did a great job with him..