Advice Needed - college freshmen - when to worry?

[overwhelmeddad]

Socialization is an extremely important part of the college experience. You don't have to be doing keg stands on Thursday nights to get valuable socialization skills and interactions. Anyone telling kids to only focus on school and sports are not giving great advice...in MY opinion (3 already through college and 1 to go). There is room for it all as long as you learn to time manage and control the peer pressure.

 

[_MIA_]

Anyone telling kids to only focus on school and sports are not giving great advice...

I don’t see anybody saying that here in this thread…point out the monster and we will throw him/her to wolves …

That said there are some people who are, in general, not fond of humans..you will usually see them sitting in the OF during games (if they go at all).

 

[southalabamajaguar20]

In my experience, for most kids the first weeks of college are rough, regardless of whether you play a sport or not. Give it a semester at least.

I agree, Patar!

 

[vicimus]

I find myself in the odd position of wondering if I should tell my freshman it's OK to drink at parties. She's reported that she goes out with the team but she's the only one who doesn't drink. I know her well enough to know she's not just saying this for our benefit. Certainly don't want to encourage alcoholism or drunkenness or anything like that at all, but isn't the #1 purpose of college to learn how to drink socially when you enter the "real world" and not overdo it?

ABSOLUTELY NOT! Horrible advice unless your goal is to raise a sheep instead of a leader. Contrary to the myth, there are PLENTY of non-drinkers in this world who are successful despite NOT drinking in college or thereafter. NOTHING good has ever become of college drinking but PLENTY of bad things including overdosing, rape, etc. SMH

 

[vicimus]

FWIW - I tell my kids if they are in a position where it's uncomfortable not to be drinking, nurse a Coors light. Put your finger over the opening on the can, and take a tiny sip every once in a while. Throw it out when it gets warm, get another and start the process over. Done right, they'll consume at most half a light beer in 2-3 hours.

With all due respect, I completely disagree and have hammered home the opposite to DD over the years and it has worked out well thus far. LEAD! Don't FOLLOW!

 

[vicimus]

Socialization is an extremely important part of the college experience. You don't have to be doing keg stands on Thursday nights to get valuable socialization skills and interactions. Anyone telling kids to only focus on school and sports are not giving great advice...in MY opinion (3 already through college and 1 to go). There is room for it all as long as you learn to time manage and control the peer pressure.

I completely disagree. Been hearing about how important socialization is from pre-k3 on and it's *completely overrated*. What's completely ignored are the NEGATIVE socialization aspects resulting from *piss-poor-parenting*! At the end of the day, humans are innately SOCIAL beings who will socialize one way or another! And thanks to *socialization*, 6 out of 7 freshman on DD's team have been suspended at least once by the coach and several MULTIPLE times IN THE FIRST 3 WEEKS and one is now NO LONGER ON THE TEAM! Guess which freshman has NOT been suspended? The DD who is in the honors college on merit scholarships and ZERO athletic $$$ but who GREATLY appreciates the opportunity to play DI softball after ALL the COVID recruiting obstacles! Priorities: 1) computer science degree w/ 3.5+ GPA, 2) softball, 3) EVERYTHING ELSE!

 

[vicimus]

I don’t see anybody saying that here in this thread…point out the monster and we will throw him/her to wolves …

That said there are some people who are, in general, not fond of humans..you will usually see them sitting in the OF during games (if they go at all).

I'm *unapologetically* saying just that as a 1st generation college graduate who worked 2 jobs and commuted college via merit scholarships while spending all-nighters in the computer lab *back in the day* while the business, marketing, art history, liberal arts, etc. majors were out partying all night.

That said, I never sat in the outfield but instead sat fearlessly in the sea of *nut job softball* parents just shaking my head silently usually.

Also, have been known to say over the years, "the more people I meet, the less I like people!" YMMV ;-)

 

[_MIA_]

I'm *unapologetically* saying just that as a 1st generation college graduate who worked 2 jobs and commuted college via merit scholarships while spending all-nighters in the computer lab *back in the day* while the business, marketing, art history, liberal arts, etc. majors were out partying all night.

That said, I never sat in the outfield but instead sat fearlessly in the sea of *nut job softball* parents just shaking my head silently usually.

Also, have been known to say over the years, "the more people I meet, the less I like people!" YMMV ;-)

As a kid I learned to enjoy my solitude..hours upon hours on the field/court by myself was bliss and it carried with me to college. As a teenager it was cathartic to some extent. I can socialize with the best of them when I feel like it..I just don't feel like it very often. To each their own..

 

[overwhelmeddad]

I completely disagree. Been hearing about how important socialization is from pre-k3 on and it's *completely overrated*. What's completely ignored are the NEGATIVE socialization aspects resulting from *piss-poor-parenting*! At the end of the day, humans are innately SOCIAL beings who will socialize one way or another! And thanks to *socialization*, 6 out of 7 freshman on DD's team have been suspended at least once by the coach and several MULTIPLE times IN THE FIRST 3 WEEKS and one is now NO LONGER ON THE TEAM! Guess which freshman has NOT been suspended? The DD who is in the honors college on merit scholarships and ZERO athletic $$$ but who GREATLY appreciates the opportunity to play DI softball after ALL the COVID recruiting obstacles! Priorities: 1) computer science degree w/ 3.5+ GPA, 2) softball, 3) EVERYTHING ELSE!

Till they need those skills in the real world and have to learn them then. My kid handled the socialization piece..as well as athletics...and 3.98 GPA just fine. Sounds like a team culture issue to me. I would say it is not very common to kick that many freshman off a D1 team. But, hey... you do you boo

 

[jdint]

With all due respect, I completely disagree and have hammered home the opposite to DD over the years and it has worked out well thus far. LEAD! Don't FOLLOW!

How is she being a leader with you telling her what to do?