- Apr 16, 2013
- 1,113
- 83
Posting here hoping to get some good advice about my DD and college. She's at a bit of a cross roads and is either going to call it quits, or continue on and "grin and bear it".
Backstory, she's a 2021. She's a "good" catcher, a "good" fielder (1B and OF), but not what I'd call upper level great. Her bat though, it separates her from every girl I've honestly ever seen. It's not really a brag, she hits the ever loving piss out of the ball. In all the games/showcases/tournaments we've been to, I've never seen a girl that can hit the ball as hard as she can. Not saying they're not out there, just none we've seen. We walked away from her last team after the fall because the coach wouldn't do zip for her with colleges, and I mean zip. I have a list of teams that'd take her in a second, some very high level teams. At this point though, she's about ready to walk away. She's never "loved" softball. That, and her lack of friends, is a large reason why.
So, first, as mentioned, she doesn't love softball. I've heard it said so many times that if you don't love softball then don't pursue playing in college. After some of the posts I've seen lately, I wonder if that's really the case. She wants, or now considering, to play in college solely to help her pay for school. If there's no money in any potential offers she would get, she wouldn't play. She has good grades (perfect GPA so far with honors and AP courses) so we fully expect some decent academic money.
Next, and here's a big one. She's not a team player. I don't know if I mean that the way it sounds though. We're a family of introverts. She talks when talked to, but otherwise doesn't talk to anyone. She also doesn't like most of the type of girls that play softball. She's not a leader, but not a follower. She marches to the beat of her own drum. She doesn't care what other girls think of her, and I really mean that. She can't stand hearing girls talk about their bfs or how cute this or that guy is. She hates the music most tend to like. They're just not the type of girls she cares to be around. She only really has one friend that's an athlete, otherwise she prefers the company of the "outcasts" type. She doesn't want to be the popular girl or hang out with those that are. As for playing, she honestly doesn't care one bit if the team loses or wins. All she cares about is her performance. There were times the team just rolled over some really good teams, and she didn't care because she didn't hit a HR or hit any laser shots. (She actually went 3 for 3 against the best team I've ever seen her play against, but they were all singles and she was mad!) She told me a few days ago she wished she would have chosen a non-team sport when she was younger. BUT, her big worry is that she's going to join some college team and the coach will see this and not want her around. Or they'll come to watch her and not be interested because she's not all "Ra ra go team!). I told her, at this point, she has to be honest about who she is. Introverts often get a bad wrap, but behind every outgoing successful extrovert, is a team of introverts actually doing the work. ;p I see lots of good qualities about her that would be great, IMO. She's super, super dedicated to her workout. It's basically her #1 priority. Roughly 2 hours a day, 4-5 days per week. Heavy, hard, lifting. She LOVES working out. Also, since she's not a follower, she's never going to get in trouble. She doesn't bow to peer pressure. She won't go to parties or out late "with the girls". She's very regimented.
For now, she's stepping back for a little while to decide what she wants to do. She's going to play rec baseball just to go back and have some pure fun again with no pressure. Rec basically ends when the real travel season begins. She's open to playing fill in for teams and maybe joining another. That friend aspect is a big one though. If she had a true friend, she'd love going. She only has 2 best friends and a small handful of "friends". With her personality and the things she enjoys, her making a true friend is pretty small. My thought though is that in life, you've gotta suck it up and deal with that. I like some of my co-workers, but never had one I'd call a "friend". As an introvert, you've got to compartmentalize things. Work is work. When you're done with work, you leave it at work. Then you enjoy your time with family and friends. Any introvert has to learn how to do this.
As for college, if she does truly step back for a season, then returns, she knows she may "miss the bus". She's actually strongly considering the JUCO route. If after playing JUCO she still wants continue, then try the transfer route. She's so worried about being able to pay for college, but I'm honestly not that worried. Her older brother go his associates of science and is debt free. We're in driving distance to several good schools, which he's now commuting to "State". All in all, he'll have about 15k in debt after he's done. In today's world, that's not a big deal. She knows she has my support whatever she chooses to do.
Ok, after reading all that, and being really open and honest, should she just go ahead and call it quits? Would a college really want that type of player? If she puts in the work and helps the team succeed, would a coach care? I'm sure there are some other parents out there that have been through something similar. I will support her either way.
Backstory, she's a 2021. She's a "good" catcher, a "good" fielder (1B and OF), but not what I'd call upper level great. Her bat though, it separates her from every girl I've honestly ever seen. It's not really a brag, she hits the ever loving piss out of the ball. In all the games/showcases/tournaments we've been to, I've never seen a girl that can hit the ball as hard as she can. Not saying they're not out there, just none we've seen. We walked away from her last team after the fall because the coach wouldn't do zip for her with colleges, and I mean zip. I have a list of teams that'd take her in a second, some very high level teams. At this point though, she's about ready to walk away. She's never "loved" softball. That, and her lack of friends, is a large reason why.
So, first, as mentioned, she doesn't love softball. I've heard it said so many times that if you don't love softball then don't pursue playing in college. After some of the posts I've seen lately, I wonder if that's really the case. She wants, or now considering, to play in college solely to help her pay for school. If there's no money in any potential offers she would get, she wouldn't play. She has good grades (perfect GPA so far with honors and AP courses) so we fully expect some decent academic money.
Next, and here's a big one. She's not a team player. I don't know if I mean that the way it sounds though. We're a family of introverts. She talks when talked to, but otherwise doesn't talk to anyone. She also doesn't like most of the type of girls that play softball. She's not a leader, but not a follower. She marches to the beat of her own drum. She doesn't care what other girls think of her, and I really mean that. She can't stand hearing girls talk about their bfs or how cute this or that guy is. She hates the music most tend to like. They're just not the type of girls she cares to be around. She only really has one friend that's an athlete, otherwise she prefers the company of the "outcasts" type. She doesn't want to be the popular girl or hang out with those that are. As for playing, she honestly doesn't care one bit if the team loses or wins. All she cares about is her performance. There were times the team just rolled over some really good teams, and she didn't care because she didn't hit a HR or hit any laser shots. (She actually went 3 for 3 against the best team I've ever seen her play against, but they were all singles and she was mad!) She told me a few days ago she wished she would have chosen a non-team sport when she was younger. BUT, her big worry is that she's going to join some college team and the coach will see this and not want her around. Or they'll come to watch her and not be interested because she's not all "Ra ra go team!). I told her, at this point, she has to be honest about who she is. Introverts often get a bad wrap, but behind every outgoing successful extrovert, is a team of introverts actually doing the work. ;p I see lots of good qualities about her that would be great, IMO. She's super, super dedicated to her workout. It's basically her #1 priority. Roughly 2 hours a day, 4-5 days per week. Heavy, hard, lifting. She LOVES working out. Also, since she's not a follower, she's never going to get in trouble. She doesn't bow to peer pressure. She won't go to parties or out late "with the girls". She's very regimented.
For now, she's stepping back for a little while to decide what she wants to do. She's going to play rec baseball just to go back and have some pure fun again with no pressure. Rec basically ends when the real travel season begins. She's open to playing fill in for teams and maybe joining another. That friend aspect is a big one though. If she had a true friend, she'd love going. She only has 2 best friends and a small handful of "friends". With her personality and the things she enjoys, her making a true friend is pretty small. My thought though is that in life, you've gotta suck it up and deal with that. I like some of my co-workers, but never had one I'd call a "friend". As an introvert, you've got to compartmentalize things. Work is work. When you're done with work, you leave it at work. Then you enjoy your time with family and friends. Any introvert has to learn how to do this.
As for college, if she does truly step back for a season, then returns, she knows she may "miss the bus". She's actually strongly considering the JUCO route. If after playing JUCO she still wants continue, then try the transfer route. She's so worried about being able to pay for college, but I'm honestly not that worried. Her older brother go his associates of science and is debt free. We're in driving distance to several good schools, which he's now commuting to "State". All in all, he'll have about 15k in debt after he's done. In today's world, that's not a big deal. She knows she has my support whatever she chooses to do.
Ok, after reading all that, and being really open and honest, should she just go ahead and call it quits? Would a college really want that type of player? If she puts in the work and helps the team succeed, would a coach care? I'm sure there are some other parents out there that have been through something similar. I will support her either way.