Would you go against the coach?

[nanotech14]

Well,I'am sorry for the judgement,that I have put on you,I quess when I readed the last few words in one of your post,it got me fired up a little.My dd's mother just complains all the time about TB and it gets under my skin.Are dd told me when she was 9yo she wanted to play college softball and play in the NFP,like her hero Cat.I don't know if she will ever get that far,but I felt that I should help her try too reach that dream.I always don't feel like spending my weekends sitting at a field some where or spending all that money on hotel rooms and gas for the car,but we do it for are dd's.As far as what you should do for your dd,you need to do what is best for her and just coming on this site to ask the question.It shows all of us that you are think for what is right for you dd.Next time I won't be so quick to judge.Just know that this softball family is big and just like all families sometimes we fight a little.

 

[quincy]

The rec coaches here are NOT paid, they are just parent volunteers as well. All they need to do is pass a criminal background check.

I do value the feedback and knowledge I have found on this site, but I wish it wouldn't come with so much snark and judgment.

, too funny.

 

[Lozza]

However, her coach played college baseball, his wife played softball and basketball, the assistant coach believe it or not played NFL football!!!

And what does this have to do with coaching 7 year old girls?

I have faced this as a coach, an 11 year old telling me 'Well my coach tells me to do it like this' (different system here, I was their rep coach) My response is always 'Yes and I'm telling you to do this. You WILL do it my way and you will do it at training and you will make a decent attempt at it. If you come back to me in one month and can tell me why the other way is better and why you perform better doing it, we will then re-evaluate. Until then, you do what I say' I've only ever had to sit one girl who flat out refused to try my way (and her way was, to be 'field ready' she'd been taught to stand up straight and have the glove in front of her face) and that only lasted two weeks. Funnily enough I watched her last game and she was the only one in field ready position. She was very proud of herself when a state player told her after the game she was the only one ready to play softball.

If he's having trouble with 7 year old's telling him what to do, he mustn't be that good a coach. Good coaches at 8U and 10U very often don't translate to good coaches. If they're playing competitive they're teaching the girls to win, not necessarily to be the best player.

Having your daughter have fun, even at this young age is so much more important than being on travel. She doesn't even need to stop both. I would advise her that if she wants to play rec ball she needs to understand that rec ball is for fun and that if she ever says 'But someone else told me this' you will ask the coach to have her do 2 sit-ups. (and if he doesn't, she has to do them at home) Disrepsecting the coach is a BIG THING and she (and the rest of the team, but you can't control that) need to learn that very quickly.

 

[#10]

My dd wants to play rec with her friends this fall because her tb team isn't playing in that many tournaments. I asked the coach if it was okay, out of respect, but he blind sided me by saying that he was against it and gave very valid reasons. He ultimately said it is our call though. My dd overheard me tell my husband that part and now thinks it is okay to play. However, I feel by allowing her to play, I may upset the coach and we don't want to do that. We respect him and feel he is right. I just don't want to let her down and take all the fun out of this game for her, ya know? What would you do?

I'd let her play with her friends in rec. Maybe she can help them get better, and ultimately help fill the two vacancies on the travel squad.

What I've learned about having my daughter play travel is that the advice of the coaches, more often than not, is what is in the team's interest vs. what's best for my DD.

 

[softballphreak]

There are many sacrifices made to play TB. Eight years old is too young to be sacrificing. As any TB parent/player will tell you, there is not much entertainment outside of TB. Serious TB? 12U, maybe. 14U, probably. 16U definitely. 18U, decisions will be made by players; sometimes surprising gloating parents.

 

[Carty]

I see the same line of thought throughout this thread. 8U - let them play. YES! 8utbmom, it seems as though you agree with yout TB coach and that this would be valildated here, but it isnt happening.

I watched part of an 8u allstar game a few weeks back. I walked over because of all of the noise being gereated by parents and coaches. You would have thought this was the World Series. I saw this play: R! on first. Batter hits a soft pop up to SS. R1 is off base quite a bit. Okay, I think what the defensive parents pictured at this point was the SS is under the ball, sets for her catch, ball is in the glove, transfered and throw hard to first. First base wits on the throw, steps into the catch - DP! Offensive parents: R1 is pushing the limit in case SS misses. If missed she is off like a shot to 2nd, looking toward 3rd for a possible extra base on a bad throw to 1. If caught she is diving back to one just in time for the safe call.

What really happened. SS faded in and out a bit. Made the catch (good for her). Stood with the ball in her glove with a huge smile. R1 stood still in the baseline, neither going foward or back, but instead watching the great catch the SS just made. 1st baseman is watching the catch also from four feet in front of the bag. Everyone starts screaming and players wake up. 1st run to bag, SS realizes to make throw as R1 does the same to get back. Throw gets there on one (maybe two) hops. It is bobbled a bit but stopped. Batter out, R1 still at first, many 8Us wth big smiles from all the action. This was not bad softball - IT WAS FUN SOFTBALL. Please let them enjoy their game.

 

[bobbyb]

I agree with letting 8 yr olds play rec...even 10 and 12.

We did this with our girls that were older. They all played rec one year...most of them on different teams. It made rec ball better...for sure. The problem was time. It started cutting into getting our full tb team practice during the time we needed to be practicing. We requested the next year that they not play rec ball. Many parents and other coaches wanted us to play as a team in rec ball, some of the other coaches thought they could beat us and wanted better competition. We finally gave in.

So our young 16u team...played 18u rec and dominated. So much that it wasn't fun for either team and in most games we had to start playing down and moving people out of position ect and it was still taking up our time...Rather than becoming a quality experience. So it isn't just ...they will create bad habits...when they are older its the time. Technique and habit is something in our world... you always have to work on...whether pitching, fielding or hitting. There is just always something to work on! At least that's been my experience.

None of them played rec ball after that.... and it allowed us to have more quality practices at a time when we needed to do so. Then HS ball started with 1 practice/1game and 3-4 weight sessions a week. It replaced rec ball in taking up our time!

So i wouldn't be worried about habits from rec coaching at 8u. If she has the time...let her play if she wants to. You might let her play one year of rec and see how much she enjoys it, then next year re-evaluate. Just a suggestion.

 

[Rambler34]

My only worry would be burnout. We went through a similar thing in the spring. My DD is an '03 and moved to 8U rec this year. Through two years of 6U she was always ahead of the other girls. Right at the start of the rec season I got a call late Friday night from a friend who's DD played travel on an '02 8U team. They had a girl who was sick and needed a last minute pick up.

Long story short she had a great day and was asked to join them. The coach was understanding of her rec commitment so there was no issue there. By the end of the season though she was getting tired of playing both and got to the point she hated rec. We opted out of all stars and went full time with her travel team and she never looked back.

Also please listen to your DD and not all of the people on here slamming 8U travel ball. My DD had much rather play travel than rec. She enjoys spending all day at the park and the time under the tents with the girls between games are as important to her as the games. It's not like we are hopping on a plane in Birmingham and flying out to Colorado for the weekend. She did enjoy going to Panama City for the world series though. Also the one other tournament that required an overnight stay was a big deal for her. She thought it was cool to stay in a hotel to play ball.

 

[InTheCrowd]

I'll throw in my two cents...

At 8, I would not hesitate letting my DD play with her friends. She's a kid, let her be a kid, let the sport be fun. My DD played travel volleyball at the national level in elementary school and junior high and I still didn't hesitate letting her play with her friends. Playing with her friends was always for silly fun - not competition (there's a huge gap between rec and travel here). Heck, she knew more about the sport than her rec coaches. And it didn't hurt her at all.

Another thing I would say is don't take the coach or sport too seriously. It's a game and at 8 years old, the journey is just getting started. Being a parent of a softball player, my primary job is to keep it fun. I don't "coach" my DD. I don't ride her. I don't point out mistakes (she knows what she did). I cheer. I take pictures. I joke. And I hear her complain. I learned a while ago that I do much better by asking her questions rather than "tell" her anything.

Also, don't take any coach too seriously either. You will experience good ones and bad ones during your journey. And some of them get really full of themselves (no offense to anyone in particular). Coaches are like players, real good ones are few and far in between but they are out there. Average coaches can be found pretty readily. And there's always a bad one somewhere lurking. As a parent, you have to be leery of the coaches.

Maybe I have a bad attitude but I have never accepted the "my way or the highway" approach to anything including coaching. That is exactly what we haverunned into with my DD high school coach. As a parent, my job is to help my DD through this journey year to year, coach to coach.

If I could throw out any advice, try to keep the fun in the sport especially at your DD age. Loose the fun at this age, I'd be willing to bet that she stops playing eventually. Let her be a kid with her friends because those memories and feelings will mean more to her down the road than any trophies on the field.

Just my two cents...