My dd wants to play rec with her friends this fall because her tb team isn't playing in that many tournaments. I asked the coach if it was okay, out of respect, but he blind sided me by saying that he was against it and gave very valid reasons. He ultimately said it is our call though. My dd overheard me tell my husband that part and now thinks it is okay to play. However, I feel by allowing her to play, I may upset the coach and we don't want to do that. We respect him and feel he is right. I just don't want to let her down and take all the fun out of this game for her, ya know? What would you do?
Would you go against the coach?
- Thread starter 8utbmom
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Obviously it's your call. He can't tell you not to do something. I assume this is a travel team that she had to try out for? That other girls were cut for your daughter to play on? That she may get cut from eventually for choosing her rec team over her travel team?
She is 8, right? Let her play whatever she wants to play. Any coach restricting an 8yo isn't playing with a full deck.
Nobody was cut...it's a brand new team. She did try out, though. I doubt she will get cut because we don't even have a full team yet...he is having difficulty finding 2 more players to give us a full roster. I told him that travel practices and games will of course take priority, but his big concerns are that she will run into bad coaching and that she might get burned out with travel practices and rec. I'm concerned about bad coaching but this kid wants to practice every day so I'm not worried about burn out. Like I said, I don't want to go against him, but I don't want softball to be so serious and hard all the time either. I guess we can't have it both ways...
- May 25, 2010
- 1,070
- 0
8u. TB.
The odds of your superstar's career being ruined by bad coaching at 8yo are pretty slim.
The player is 8, the coach is not the only one with the wrong priorities.
Well, she did have a rec coach telling her to jump to hit the ball, so I am not so sure you're right about that, Softscodad. Would you want to break that habit when my kid came to you in 12 u, 14u or whatever age you think is acceptable for kids to play more competitively? I know you're against younger girls playing travel by reading your other posts, and I think that maybe you don't understand that even though these girls are 9 years old, they still absolutely love to play and have the desire to get better. I never even heard of travel ball before my dd mentioned it. She was asked to play a couple of tournaments and she was hooked! I on the other hand absolutely dread tournaments and despise sitting on a hot dirty ball field 3 times a week, so don't make this about me trying to push her into being a superstar. The only push I gave her was signing her up for tball when she was 5 so she wouldn't be sitting in front of every day after school. I gave in on the rest.
I want her to be happy on this team, and have a good relationship with the coach and team she chose to play with. I totally see why someone would think he is a quack for feeling this way. However, I also see how hard he is working alongside these girls, and I watch him continuously try to undo the "damage" of other coaches and dads. I have heard the girls, including my own child say to him countless times "my dad/my other coach told me to do it this way" and I can see how that would be frustrating after the 500th time. He isn't getting paid, he is volunteering his time to teach our kids the skills they need to play the game and win. Believe it or not, 9 year olds want to win, too!
I guess I made my decision about this. She can't have everything she wants. She wanted to play travel ball knowing how hard it can be. So, she has to stand by that decision and accept all that comes along with it...including not playing rec ball during a travel season. I don't feel this is a huge sacrifice after all. If she ends up disliking the game because of it, my world certainly isn't going to end.
Thanks for the feedback!
I want her to be happy on this team, and have a good relationship with the coach and team she chose to play with. I totally see why someone would think he is a quack for feeling this way. However, I also see how hard he is working alongside these girls, and I watch him continuously try to undo the "damage" of other coaches and dads. I have heard the girls, including my own child say to him countless times "my dad/my other coach told me to do it this way" and I can see how that would be frustrating after the 500th time. He isn't getting paid, he is volunteering his time to teach our kids the skills they need to play the game and win. Believe it or not, 9 year olds want to win, too!
I guess I made my decision about this. She can't have everything she wants. She wanted to play travel ball knowing how hard it can be. So, she has to stand by that decision and accept all that comes along with it...including not playing rec ball during a travel season. I don't feel this is a huge sacrifice after all. If she ends up disliking the game because of it, my world certainly isn't going to end.
Thanks for the feedback!
- Jan 25, 2011
- 2,280
- 38
How do you know that this coach knows what he is talking about.He could be teaching things that are wrong,just because he is a TB coach doesn't make him a expert!I can't agree with making a 8yo miss out on the fun time that rec.ball can offer,she might even learn a few things from that paid rec coach,or aren't they getting paid?You sound just like my ex-wife about sitting around a dirty field,you are one of those parents,look at your last words,"my world certainly isn't going to end."Didn't know that your dd playing softball was about you!She is 8yo let her have fun,and your TB coach must think he is a D1 coach.. However, I also see how hard he is working alongside these girls, and I watch him continuously try to undo the "damage" of other coaches and dads. I have heard the girls, including my own child say to him countless times "my dad/my other coach told me to do it this way" and I can see how that would be frustrating after the 500th time. He isn't getting paid, he is volunteering his time to teach our kids the skills they need to play the game and win. Believe it or not, 9 year olds want to win, too!
I guess I made my decision about this. She can't have everything she wants. She wanted to play travel ball knowing how hard it can be. So, she has to stand by that decision and accept all that comes along with it...including not playing rec ball during a travel season. I don't feel this is a huge sacrifice after all. If she ends up disliking the game because of it, my world certainly isn't going to end.
Thanks for the feedback!
That is exactly my point...it isn't about ME! I am not pushing her to be some super star softball player, she isn't living out my dreams! I could care less what sport or extra curricular activity she does just as long as she likes what she is doing, and she isn't sitting on my couch watching reruns of Phineus and Ferb. She wanted to play travel ball, not us...we are just a long for the ride. I do not like sitting out at those ball fields, but I go out there and support her, and I drag an infant and 3 year old with me, if they like it or not. I come to these forums to learn about this sport for HER! It stopped being about me the day that girl was born!
Now, I never said her tb coach was an expert. However, I do think she should be doing what he wants her to do because she made a commitment to him when she agreed to play for his team. The rec coaches here are NOT paid, they are just parent volunteers as well. All they need to do is pass a criminal background check. However, her coach played college baseball, his wife played softball and basketball, the assistant coach believe it or not played NFL football!!! Their 10u (moving to 12u) team is A bracket, their All star team has been undefeated for years, but I should believe that they don't have a thing on Emma's dad, the computer programmer/ Wii MLB champion? <eye roll>
I do value the feedback and knowledge I have found on this site, but I wish it wouldn't come with so much snark and judgment.
Now, I never said her tb coach was an expert. However, I do think she should be doing what he wants her to do because she made a commitment to him when she agreed to play for his team. The rec coaches here are NOT paid, they are just parent volunteers as well. All they need to do is pass a criminal background check. However, her coach played college baseball, his wife played softball and basketball, the assistant coach believe it or not played NFL football!!! Their 10u (moving to 12u) team is A bracket, their All star team has been undefeated for years, but I should believe that they don't have a thing on Emma's dad, the computer programmer/ Wii MLB champion? <eye roll>
I do value the feedback and knowledge I have found on this site, but I wish it wouldn't come with so much snark and judgment.
