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[Westwind]

I typically will run all of my communication trough the head coach until it is evident that there is a more efficient way. This particular time, I was checking the scores with the teams as we did not have a scoreboard. At the end of the 1st inning, he went to his bookkeeper (his wife). In the 2nd inning he acted perturbed and went to his bookkeeper. In the 3rd and 4th innings I just went straight to the bookkeeper. In the 5th inning a close call was made that he didn’t like and the minor chirping turned into “stop staring at my wife and watch the game!”

Were you close to ejecting him?

That is a very personal attack.

 

[The Man In Blue]

Were you close to ejecting him?

That is a very personal attack.

Close? No.

Did it? Yes.

Then I got to talk to his wife a lot more.

 

[EC22]

In my experience and observation, the number of "coaches" correlates to the number of problems. Fun to watch but would not want to be the Blue.

 

[Westwind]

Close? No.

Did it? Yes.

Then I got to talk to his wife a lot more.

I’m glad you did. That’s over the line.

 

[testandor]

Another thing I was taught early on. No matter how well you seem to be getting along with the spectators you're supposed to be staying away from, you're only one bad ("against them") call away from being an a-hole.

 

[The Man In Blue]

You 'ole rascal!

Oh, the stories you don’t know ...

But that wasn’t why I quoted these ...

I've seen some terrific umpires in Rec and some awful ones, but they all have to deal with some level of abuse. I couldn't just ignore it, I'd make a terrible umpire.

In my experience and observation, the number of "coaches" correlates to the number of problems. Fun to watch but would not want to be the Blue.

We tell our war stories as a form of camaraderie ... you read the media reports about officials quitting ... and unfortunately you see too much on the internet these days ...

I suppose we, as umpires, should be more careful about telling our tales as we may be painting the wrong picture ourselves. When things get bad they can get really bad, however the vast majority of the time there are very few issues and it is very fun and rewarding.

I would encourage anybody who has considered it to give it a try. True, it isn’t for everybody. You may find out it isn’t to your liking ... or you may find you really do enjoy it.

Honestly, I believe the statistics about officials quitting is extremely misleading. I’m not saying officials are lying. I’m saying, my lifetime of experience in managing people (and perceptions) has led me to believe it is very easy to point to those couple of bad experiences in your memory. It is far more difficult to self-reflect and say “I never received the training I needed to handle these situations and to succeed.”

 

[flash277]

As my fellow umpires can attest too, these fan-crazed occurrences are not a every game thing. Sure we hear the groans on a strike call or close play at bag, but in the 60 games I did this year (I'm new), I never really had a problem parent, and I did rec games all the way up to 18u.

 

[grcsftbll]

Unfortunately we are taught to never interact with the fans. So those great umpires you've experienced who joke with the crowd are technically in the wrong. And they create more problems than they solve, not for themselves necessarily, but for those of us who try to completely ignore the parents as we're instructed. We suddenly become labeled as aloof, unapproachable, unfriendly, etc., when we don't acknowledge the crowd.

The other concern is that it may backfire. There may be fans who don't appreciate a chatty umpire, particularly when they talk with their significant other. Or the umpire may appear to be friendlier with one team's parents than the other. Why open that box? It's better to just stay mum.

I used to cut-up with fans all the time when I first started. But I soon learned that we need to stay focused with what's happening inside the fences, even between innings. We have responsibilities to uphold. By being against the backstop chatting it up with a fan, we lose our professionalism. Others see us as being more concerned with socializing than officiating. Yeah, it helps in keeping the fans in check, but it also leads to more issues in the end.

That certainly makes sense. I admire the ones who can block everything out (or appear to) also. That can't be easy.

 

[grmerrill]

So I've gone both ways.
Coaching a city rec team I had a girl come back to the dugout crying, a grandpa in the stands was heckling her while she was at bat. I couldn't hear it and had no idea where it was coming form. So I sent the pitchers grandma to sit over there. She was a handful, loud and obnoxiously enthusiastic in her support for the girls. She didn't take crap from anyone. It stopped.


I also went off on an ump at a HS game. The game was going well, both teams scoring, and then it started to rain.
My DD was pitching. She couldn't get a grip on the ball, the best she could do was lob it in, no speed, no movement, no spin. She is getting killed and got frustrated to the point they pulled her and put in the other pitcher, who also pitches comp. She was able to get one of six warmup pitches across the plate.

So the coach put my daughter back in.

The ball is being ripped foul down the third base line, they are sitting back and crushing it because she has no grip, they are coming in so slow.

I lose it.

What are they doing, why are they letting this go on. Someone is going to get hurt.

The Buffoon in Blue ignores me and the coach comes out of the dugout and goes off on me.

I found the principal and had a controlled but angry discussion with her. She was attending because of all the complaints about the coach. She talks to the Buffoon in Blue who said it was his digression as to if it was to continue. I know my limits and left the field, furious. I didn't attend her last few high school games of the year, and I couldn't convince her to turn in her uniform. That game was the worst beating she took of her high school career.

The school filed a complaint with the state high school sports association.

This year we have a new coach.

 

[The Man In Blue]

I’m glad you did. That’s over the line.

Which was over the line ... what he said or me continuing to talk to his wife?