Obligated to play?

[John T]

Wow...some of you folks are over the top. Comparing softball to a job? Let's not forget these kids PLAY a game. When WE turn our kids lives into nothing but softball, softball, softball (You can insert any sport) is when we should seek some help. Keep the sport we love a GAME and not a JOB for these girls.

If my daughter passed up the chance to play up I would respect it no matter what her reasons.

 

[sluggers]

Keep the sport we love a GAME and not a JOB for these girls.

Hmmm...I get where you are coming from. The OP was about a 16U DD, so:

There are different levels of competitiveness for softball teams. The more competitive the team, the higher the expectations on its players. At some point, playing on very competitive teams is like a job. The expectation from the other players and the coaches is that a player treat "the game" with at least as much respect as a job.

Of course, if a player doesn't want those expectations, then she should choose to play on a less competitive team.

 

[starsnuffer]

Wow...some of you folks are over the top. Comparing softball to a job? Let's not forget these kids PLAY a game. When WE turn our kids lives into nothing but softball, softball, softball (You can insert any sport) is when we should seek some help. Keep the sport we love a GAME and not a JOB for these girls.

If my daughter passed up the chance to play up I would respect it no matter what her reasons.

Sure, you're absolutely correct. It isn't your "job" as a parent to give the kid a guilt trip. As a parent, the goal is to do what you can to make sure your kid has the right information to make their decisions. Explaining that her org can see this from a detrimental point of view should be enough here. The decision remains hers.

-W

 

[John T]

Sluggers and starsnuffer,

I get the responsibility to the team, but the original post stated it was not her team but an older team she was "ASKED" to play with (Not told, or ordered to). If an upper level coach held that against her, shame on them and they need to get their thinking squared away because they should look at it as her doing them a favor not the other way around. As for the organization thinking poorly of her, I do not want to be part of group that looks down their noses at kids thinking they are the molders and shapers of their lives/careers.

I say let the girls work their butts off (If they want), teach them the game and get the egos out of the way.

My opinion of course...

 

[RubberBiscuit]

Wow...some of you folks are over the top. Comparing softball to a job? Let's not forget these kids PLAY a game. When WE turn our kids lives into nothing but softball, softball, softball (You can insert any sport) is when we should seek some help. Keep the sport we love a GAME and not a JOB for these girls.

If my daughter passed up the chance to play up I would respect it no matter what her reasons.

This "depends".

If your DD is playing just to play a game, then I agree. If she is playing to set herself up for a scholarship then it IS like a job.

Underlying here is the fear we can't have our children commit to something in a major way. I think we can, ....if they want to, ....and it "fits".

I fear too many of these types of general statements (not that you intended it this way) take us away from challenging our youth towards going after a BIG goal. I think our future generations would benefit from more BIG challenges as it prepares them better for adulthood.

OK,.. I'll stop preachin....

 

[Sparky Guy]

OK,.. I'll stop preachin....

Oh... Please continue. It'll save me a lot of typing.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I would be willing to wager that an overwhelming majority of the posters on this board have not been through the process to the end. With that being said, they don't REALLY understand just how competitive it is out there for scholarship money. College coaches get hundreds and sometimes thousands of letters and applications filled out each season. So to pass up an opportunity to work with an older team. That is a HUGE mistake. The OP doesn't say if it was an exposure tournament or not that she turned down.

My DD played in a VERY competitive summer program and her HS played in the toughest conference in the state. There were very few gimmie games, and if there were she was on the bench. There were days when she did not want to go and work and I would tell her "That's fine. It's not going to be me that sucks out there." She would go get her gear and we'd head out to the field and work. As she got older she realized there were a lot of other girls doing the same things she was doing, so she had to practice to keep up with them.

The wife would tell me sometimes my DD needed a break and we would go round and round about it. Don't get me wrong... My DD did get time off from ball. But I also got the final told-ya-so when the tuition and other college bills showed up with a $0 balance because her scholarship covered it. In the end my DD's scholarship money saved me about $80K over the course of the 4 years in college.

If a player is committed to playing in college she needs to start the process at the 16U age level in today's current recruiting environment. She needs to take EVERY opportunity to push and improve herself. There will be 100's of no's in the recruiting process. All it takes is one "YES."

 

[Greenmonsters]

I would be willing to wager that an overwhelming majority of the posters on this board have not been through the process to the end. With that being said, they don't REALLY understand just how competitive it is out there for scholarship money. College coaches get hundreds and sometimes thousands of letters and applications filled out each season. So to pass up an opportunity to work with an older team. That is a HUGE mistake. The OP doesn't say if it was an exposure tournament or not that she turned down.

My DD played in a VERY competitive summer program and her HS played in the toughest conference in the state. There were very few gimmie games, and if there were she was on the bench. There were days when she did not want to go and work and I would tell her "That's fine. It's not going to be me that sucks out there." She would go get her gear and we'd head out to the field and work. As she got older she realized there were a lot of other girls doing the same things she was doing, so she had to practice to keep up with them.

The wife would tell me sometimes my DD needed a break and we would go round and round about it. Don't get me wrong... My DD did get time off from ball. But I also got the final told-ya-so when the tuition and other college bills showed up with a $0 balance because her scholarship covered it. In the end my DD's scholarship money saved me about $80K over the course of the 4 years in college.

If a player is committed to playing in college she needs to start the process at the 16U age level in today's current recruiting environment. She needs to take EVERY opportunity to push and improve herself. There will be 100's of no's in the recruiting process. All it takes is one "YES."

Sparky - That's great that it worked out like it did for you and your DD. But what percent of college SB players are getting scholarships, let alone full rides? Something like 13 full schollys for top D1s, somewhat fewer for DIIs, and 0 for DIIIs - so what's that average 1 out every 4 or 5 college players maybe? Playing softball with the objective of getting a scholarship is an unrealistic goal and sets 99% of players up for failure. Setting a goal of playing college SB is better approach, IMO. It won't make them work any less hard, set the bar any lower, or be less committed, but is more reasonably attainable. Would your DD have been a "failure" if she didn't get a scholarship? I don't think so!

FWIW, my DD is a freshman playing SB at a DIII. No SB money, but her academic money, which is guaranteed for 4 years and independent of whether she plays SB or not, makes it cheaper than in-state tuition at any of our state universities. She worked as hard at SB as she did academics and its allowed her to go to school comfortable with her priorities and the knowledge that she can play SB as long as it remains a priority and she enjoys it. But make no mistake about it, there are no shortcuts to Carnegie Hall.

 

[Sparky Guy]

FWIW, my DD is a freshman playing SB at a DIII. No SB money, but her academic money, which is guaranteed for 4 years and independent of whether she plays SB or not, makes it cheaper than in-state tuition at any of our state universities. She worked as hard at SB as she did academics and its allowed her to go to school comfortable with her priorities and the knowledge that she can play SB as long as it remains a priority and she enjoys it. But make no mistake about it, there are no shortcuts to Carnegie Hall.

Monsters,

The GREAT thing about it is that a SB player can get academic money and athletic money at the same. SB can be a tool to get into a top academic university. But as you say, the work must be put in. I know girls who used softball as their in into Ivy League schools. They had the grades, but so did thousands of others who applied to the schools.

DI's have 12.5 scholarships available and DII's have 7.5. That is IF the softball program is fully funded for scholarships. The true FULL ride is a rare thing. There are very, very few athletes who get full rides in softball.

I hate the argument that there is more academic money available. While there is, there is a lot more competition for it. Basically, if you can breath you can apply for academic money. With athletic money the field is narrowed due to a specific skill set needed.

 

[joemcq51]

Update- I really appreciate the discussion. I think I left a few important details out of the OP. Not that it changes anything, she is in the 8th grade currently. This weekend is also her birthday weekend, which is why when her tournament got cancelled, she made some plans with friends.

So on her own, with zero input from me, she discussed the weekend with the Gold coach and made a decision. She is going to play the Friday and Saturday games with the older team. The team gets back one of their pitchers Sunday, so she is less needed. She can then spend a day doing whatever kids do on a weekend. She is extremely excited about playing with the "Big" girls, as she calls them.

She does wish to someday pitch in college, and is as committed as any 13yoa kid I have ever seen. I am very proud of how she handled this situation and thankful that this site exists, for worried parents like me to ask questions. While I do not think this coach would have held a grudge, could that have sat in my mind in future years questioning every time my DD sits or gets taken out?