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Need advice. How can I motivate my daughter to practice more?

Aug 20, 2018
53
8
So my daughter is a pitcher, she's been pitching for the last 5 years and is pretty good. She's always had natural talent so hasn't had to work super hard at being good but as she's getting older (she's 13) other girls that are putting in the time are starting to catch up. I don't want to push her and make her hate the game and ultimately quit, but at the same time I don't want to keep paying for pitching lessons when she isn't putting in the time needed to get better.

I don't think I'm asking too much, I try to get her to pitch at least 4 times a week for 30-45 minutes at a shot and she has lessons every other week. When she does pitch she will often ask how long she has to pitch or something else like that. So I'm just looking for some advice on how can I push her more to put in the work necessary. I've talked with her several times about pitching and she swears to me she wants to, so assuming she's not lying to me how should I get her to practice more without overly pushing her?
 
Mar 6, 2018
66
8
mix up the practices. we do 10 pitches to tarp in her standing 55 drill. basically focusing on tight core good arm rotation and mechanics. once she's throwing clean we move to a similar drill bit push off. focus on clean mechanics. once she hits it clean we pitch full distance. 10 pitches with clean mechanics. move 5 feet back and throw 5 more. repeat until she's maxed out on distance but doing proper mechanics in legs and arms you'll know when she too far. straight bb's no lobs. then we move back in throw a few fastballs then ask what she wants to work on. spots, change up, curve, etc. make it a compromise she wants to work the change and you want to work location. challenge her to hit 5in a row of each.

breaking things into segments makes it seem less like work. i also reward my dd on days with great attitude (10yrold). don't pitch every day

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Jun 12, 2015
3,619
48
How old is she? I finally accepted with my DD that you can't force them to be motivated. I could force her to practice, but then she'd just resent it (this is her personality - I know some kids you can and should push). We ended up taking her out of lessons and she's taking a break from pitching for the spring. We had some extenuating circumstances, but it came down to the same. She's 12 and had also been pitching for 5 years. This age seems to be when that really starts to happen.

On the positive side, she's very focused on hitting now, and practicing on her own almost daily without any reminders. I wish I could have gotten that out of her with pitching, because I do miss seeing her in the circle. :(
 

pattar

Clueless..
Jun 8, 2016
2,696
83
At some point motivation has to come from within...That said how is the dynamic when you pitch with her? As a parent there are some days you just need to let her work without any intervention/instruction. If you are critiquing her every 2 minutes that could be part of the problem.
 
Oct 2, 2011
3,076
63
Florida
So my daughter is a pitcher, she's been pitching for the last 5 years and is pretty good. She's always had natural talent so hasn't had to work super hard at being good but as she's getting older (she's 13) other girls that are putting in the time are starting to catch up. I don't want to push her and make her hate the game and ultimately quit, but at the same time I don't want to keep paying for pitching lessons when she isn't putting in the time needed to get better.

I don't think I'm asking too much, I try to get her to pitch at least 4 times a week for 30-45 minutes at a shot and she has lessons every other week. When she does pitch she will often ask how long she has to pitch or something else like that. So I'm just looking for some advice on how can I push her more to put in the work necessary. I've talked with her several times about pitching and she swears to me she wants to, so assuming she's not lying to me how should I get her to practice more without overly pushing her?
It is her journey and forcing her is not going to help do anything but make her resent you. You have to transition into realizing this isn't about you. There is a lot of 'I' in your post.

A lot of kids will tell their parents what they want to hear because they want to please them and get their approval - not saying your kid is doing this, but it is very common. It isn't lying to you - just a desire to make you happy or for you approve of them. Sometime just releasing the pressure can let them figure it out.

Around 13 is when all the girls starts to catch up to the early maturers - it isn't just the work - but just a reality. The physical advantages even out for a lot of players. It is up to her to decide if she wants to put the work in. It isn't easy. Pitching is basically a separate sport.

And you have made it a job which you run, so yeah, she is starting to resent it. Lessons plus 4x a week plus games or even with games. That is a lot of pitching to be made to do especially if she is also putting in the work to be a hitter and a fielder.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,046
48
Michigan
Somewhere she is asking for advice on how to get my parent off my back about pitching practice.

Have you had a conversation with her about her goals and what she wants from softball? Maybe her plans are different then what you think. My dd was 14 when we had that conversation and to my surprise playing in college wasn't her goal.

Once she has verbalized her goals you can work together to make them come true. Maybe she doesn't see the other kids getting better as an issue, make it about her goals not what other pitchers are doing.
 
Apr 20, 2018
701
28
SoCal
Have her pitching coach or local big time college pitcher tell her how good she is and have them encourage her. But when the coach tells her "you need to throw 4 times a week" don't say "see, I told you."
 
Mar 6, 2018
66
8
there's been great advice in here but i think there should be something said for a parent that's trying to push their kid. that's a great job in my opinion. you're looking for help to make her better and work harder. yes as people have said you can't make them have more desire by force feeding it but i disagree with anyone that thinks every great pitcher or athlete had the work ethic come naturally. the op just wants help on how to get it out of their dd. i think parents can influence that. don't listen to people tell you they have to want it. that's bull, they don't know what they want. they're thirsty and they just need help to the drink. they think they know the way. they don't. they know what the drink or the payoff tastes like but they don't understand how to get to it. some girls might but possibly very few know and understand the work ethic. make the work fun. encourage and set goals. small goals and big goals. just don't let her feel beaten. make it positive and hid your thoughts on what needs improvement. work on trying to fix one thing at a time without her knowing it. positive, positive, positive, hey try doing this, positive, positive, great practice, let's get pizza.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using Tapatalk
 

pattar

Clueless..
Jun 8, 2016
2,696
83
there's been great advice in here but i think there should be something said for a parent that's trying to push their kid. that's a great job in my opinion. you're looking for help to make her better and work harder. yes as people have said you can't make them have more desire by force feeding it but i disagree with anyone that thinks every great pitcher or athlete had the work ethic come naturally. the op just wants help on how to get it out of their dd. i think parents can influence that. don't listen to people tell you they have to want it. that's bull, they don't know what they want. they're thirsty and they just need help to the drink. they think they know the way. they don't. they know what the drink or the payoff tastes like but they don't understand how to get to it. some girls might but possibly very few know and understand the work ethic. make the work fun. encourage and set goals. small goals and big goals. just don't let her feel beaten. make it positive and hid your thoughts on what needs improvement. work on trying to fix one thing at a time without her knowing it. positive, positive, positive, hey try doing this, positive, positive, great practice, let's get pizza.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using Tapatalk

I need to find a brick wall because I am ready to run through it!!! Rudy, Rudy,...lmao
 
Aug 20, 2018
53
8
there's been great advice in here but i think there should be something said for a parent that's trying to push their kid. that's a great job in my opinion. you're looking for help to make her better and work harder. yes as people have said you can't make them have more desire by force feeding it but i disagree with anyone that thinks every great pitcher or athlete had the work ethic come naturally. the op just wants help on how to get it out of their dd. i think parents can influence that. don't listen to people tell you they have to want it. that's bull, they don't know what they want. they're thirsty and they just need help to the drink. they think they know the way. they don't. they know what the drink or the payoff tastes like but they don't understand how to get to it. some girls might but possibly very few know and understand the work ethic. make the work fun. encourage and set goals. small goals and big goals. just don't let her feel beaten. make it positive and hid your thoughts on what needs improvement. work on trying to fix one thing at a time without her knowing it. positive, positive, positive, hey try doing this, positive, positive, great practice, let's get pizza.

Sent from my SM-G930R4 using Tapatalk

This is pretty much what I'm trying to do. I'm giving positive feedback every chance I get following practice or lesson. I've been around athletics my whole life and I've seen the damage a parent can do by pushing their kid too hard or putting too much pressure on them, so I"m doing everything I can to avoid being that parent. I want her to love the sport and love playing. But I also want her to see that to get to where she wants to go she's going to have to work at it. Her natural talent pitching, fielding, throwing and hitting (I won't say running, she's not the speediest lol), will carry her so far, and has, but other girls are starting to catch up with her because of their hard work. If she doesn't pick it up, she isn't going to be our go to pitcher this season, another girl that is busting her ass will pass her and take that role. I don't want that to happen, and I know she doesn't.

Thanks for the response! I appreciate it.
 

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