Lack of Motivation

[JBG]

DD (16) seems as though she has reached that point where she does not a have high level of interest in working at her craft.

After school ball last year ended (the first part of TB at u18 when she was practicing) she was lights out. Then she stopped practicing and it showed. She got hit pretty bad the rest of the year.

She took the fall off. In December after Thanksgiving, I fully expected her to get back in the swing of things with her pitching coach and throwing 3 days a week at a minimum. Thus far, She has only thrown once...and every time i prod her, She gets very frustrated with me and we end up in a fight.
I have told her that unless she practices i am not springing for pitching lessons. Thats part of the deal for her to hold up her end.

I have tried to lay off her and not say anything to her about practicing. Very difficult for me because i can see her potential if she continues working at it. She does not seem to be motivated to reach her potential.

I am fearful that if she continues not to practice that other girls that are working hard at the HS level are going to overtake her. She doesnt seem to be worried. She has to want to do it. I cant force her to...I just dont know what to do or even if i should bother and just let her fail or succeed on her own. Just frustrating for me because after years of hard work and time, i can see the light at the end of the Tunnel. Entering her Junior year its her time to shine and i just cant make her see that. Frustrating.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I hear you, JBG. But you have tried. I think you should go fishing. What I did, was join a slow pitch league. You can finds all levels of teams needing a guy.

She has to sink or swim.

 

[SoftSocDad]

DD (16) seems as though she has reached that point where she does not a have high level of interest in working at her craft.

After school ball last year ended (the first part of TB at u18 when she was practicing) she was lights out. Then she stopped practicing and it showed. She got hit pretty bad the rest of the year.

She took the fall off. In December after Thanksgiving, I fully expected her to get back in the swing of things with her pitching coach and throwing 3 days a week at a minimum. Thus far, She has only thrown once...and every time i prod her, She gets very frustrated with me and we end up in a fight.
I have told her that unless she practices i am not springing for pitching lessons. Thats part of the deal for her to hold up her end.

I have tried to lay off her and not say anything to her about practicing. Very difficult for me because i can see her potential if she continues working at it. She does not seem to be motivated to reach her potential.

I am fearful that if she continues not to practice that other girls that are working hard at the HS level are going to overtake her. She doesnt seem to be worried. She has to want to do it. I cant force her to...I just dont know what to do or even if i should bother and just let her fail or succeed on her own. Just frustrating for me because after years of hard work and time, i can see the light at the end of the Tunnel. Entering her Junior year its her time to shine and i just cant make her see that. Frustrating.

From the sounds of it, you're placing too much pressure for her success or failure upon yourself.

When a person references their craft, it's usually something they're completely dedicated to, otherwise it's just a hobby or a job.

At this point in time, pitching may be something she's interested in, but not something she's completely dedicated to. That could change in time, but it has to be her time, not yours. Just be ready to resume paying for her lessons when she's ready to resume properly preparing for them as demonstrated by her practice time.

 

[straightleg]

Maybe see if she wants to focus on hitting.
Be a top hitter on the team might motovate her to want to pitch again
I would not push the pitching



SL

 

[RubberBiscuit]

It was my experience that you have to back off 100% or even little things will push her further out while she is in this mindset. You have one moment where you tell her all the talents she has and what she MIGHT be giving up and then zip-it.

If it's meant to be she will come back to the game. If she doesnt,...then love her in whatever else she does.

My DD chose to come back on her own (finding out her boyfriend & other hs life aspects werent all she thought she was missing). It could have went either way though. It was VERY TOUGH for me too!

Best of luck!

 

[halskinner]

I am going to bring back a recent post that is called "Bucket Dad Syndrome".

You also must realize that at the 16u level, 70% of the girls in softball just drop out for many reasons.

Give her something that will make her want to go out and defeat batters, give her some secret weapons. Noboidy can get into a pitchers head and give them great work ethics like my book and I do.

 

[sluggers]

My DD#3 was really stupid. She quit softball at 15 against my wishes, and, unfortunately, she suffered the natural consequences of her decision: She played D3 hoops, won a national championship, and got a letter of recommendation from the president of her college. The letter of recommendation led to her getting a job 2 months before she graduated from college. Her employer hired her sight unseen, based upon her grades and the letter from the college president.

Stupid kid.

I just dont know what to do or even if i should bother and just let her fail or succeed on her own.

Explain to her, calmly, that if she doesn't practice she won't excel. If she doesn't want to work at softball, that is OK with you, but she is expected to put her energy into a passion: school, music, theater, etc.

At 16 YOA, she has to make her own decisions. All you can do is offer advice.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Very difficult for me because i can see her potential if she continues working at it. She does not seem to be motivated to reach her potential.

What is her potential, and why is it important that she reach it?

That's a question that I think is good for us parents to ask ourselves. As for kids, I don't think they are that motivated by their potential.

 

[Greenmonsters]

It's pretty simple IMO, if a kid enjoys something, you don't have to push them to do it. When an activity like SB becomes a chore or something that they have to do, they look forward to it as much as a root canal. Sounds like your DD needs/wants a break from SB. Allow her the break - she may realize how much she misses it and comes back in the future more motivated or she may drop it and devote her time and energy to another extracuricular interest that makes her happy. Regardless, support her and remind her that you love her unconditionally.

 

[CoogansBluff]

What is her potential, and why is it important that she reach it?

That's a question that I think is good for us parents to ask ourselves. As for kids, I don't think they are that motivated by their potential.

What I said was vague and confusing. I think Greenmonsters said it much better.

What I was driving at with potential is that it's overrated if not irrelevant. Kids have potential in lots of things. But it's not what they have potential in. It's what they have heart in.