DDs see no honor in being called up to varsity, and riding the bench-hear me out.

[So Cal Seth]

Last week, I went to watch one of my DD's TB teammates play with her HS team. She is one of two freshmen on the team (both Ps). The other freshman got the start and pitched a complete game. My DD's teammate didn't get a single pitch, didn't get an AB, and didn't even get to run for anyone. Throughout all 7 innings, she was the loudest and most energetic player in the dugout, celebrating each one of her teammates' successes on the field.

This is a great example of how to make the best out of their situation.

1. Yes, your girls should probably be playing
2. The Head Coach doesn't seem (per your version) to have handled this in the best way
3. Neither of the above two matter. Make the best out of the situation. They can take charge in practices, become leaders, prove it on the practice field that they should be playing. If they're not, then cheer like hell and be ready to perform when called upon.
4. They're still playing outside of school play where the level of play is appropriate for them, and this will not stunt their growth as players. But it'll grow them as individuals and teammates.

 

[Bob516]

I don’t want to be harsh but there’s really no way to sugar coat this.
If either one of them wants to play in college they need to get used to playing bench if it’s what is best for the team. And by saying “what’s best for the team” I mean what the coach thinks is best, not what they, you or anyone else thinks is best.

They've had their own bench time on their travel teams. They didn't like it, but they used it as motivation to improve their play.

My advice to them is suck it up, be a good teammate, and learn from it.
Life isn’t fair but a not great situation doesn’t have to be miserable unless you let it.
Oh, and let them decide how they feel about it. How you feel about it shouldn’t influence how they feel.

I'm encouraging them to play the politics of the situation.

Generally it is not a positive experience for many of the players. One senior, a travel player, said she was so glad she was going to be done with him.

 

[Rick M]

I'm going to guess that Bob516's daughters are pretty good players. Too good, no doubt, to be playing with the JV team. As others have said, getting a call up early, even if they're not playing, is setting them up for the future of the team. It's easy to lose sight of this, because all of us have TB experience where each year can be a completely different team. The HS coach is playing a longer game, managing players for three or four years and having to deal with what fate hands him, not which studs he can go out and recruit.

To put it another way, which do you think will benefit your daughters more:
1. Getting on the JV field right away and hitting .500 as a freshman
or
2. Stepping onto the field as a team captain in their junior year?

If they're looking to play in college, I don't think too many coaches will care about #1, but #2 says a lot about a player.

 

[mudrunner]

So I can relate to this situation pretty well. Believe me, I understand it can be frustrating. My DD is a freshman. Generally she plays on the JV team for 2 1/2-3 innings, then heads over to the varsity game in case they need her speed on the bases. She may or may not run and has yet to take an at bat or play the field for a varsity game. In the meantime she's missing defensive innings & 2 or 3 at bats a game by not playing the rest of the JV game. Varsity coach always says he's going to get her the games but it just doesn't happen. As a parent I don't understand the coaches thought process, especially when there are already 14 girls on the varsity team all of whom are sophomores, juniors, and seniors. For DD though it is an opportunity to get to know the older girls that she will play with in the future. She gets frustrated with it as well, but does see that she is only one of two girls that ever gets called up to varsity. She will be one of the few freshman that will be with the team in the playoffs and there is a possibility she could have an impact on a game at some point. In the meantime she does what the coaches say, cheers on the team, and I keep my mouth shut lol.

 

[Bob516]

He probably gives the same speech every year - only returning girls will play. Now that your daughters have been pulled up, THEY WILL BE RETURNING PLAYERS NEXT YEAR. So next year he can justify starting your daughters over other returning players (current juniors and sophomores).

It will be interesting to see if he plays them in their sophomore year.

In addition, having your daughters spend a lot of time in the dugout this year may reduce hard feelings when they start over older girls, as it will aid the perception that your daughters have "paid their dues".

That might be the case. I'm not optimistic that he has a master plan.

As for the "honor" thing for your daughters, I'd remind them that HC told the parents before the year started what his playing rules are. Since they agreed to those rules and joined, they shouldn't be upset when the HC does exactly what he said he would do.

The meeting was not prior to the tryouts, it was the day after the first scrimmage.

 

[Elk Grove Hurricane]

This is a tough one, not so easy to just say suck it up, wait your turn, seniority matters when there are real human emotions involved. It unfortunately happens in every high school activity. Best advice i can give you is to remind the kids they made commitments for this year. Honor those commitments. What they do next year is up to them, and their parents should respect their decisions. If they say this is not something I want to do again, don't force it on them. If they chose to go back knowing there are still players in front of them that will get more PT because of seniority, support them.

 

[_MIA_]

This guy must have great job security if he doesn't play the supposed best players he has assuming those players would make his team have a better chance of winning. Does the AD know he told the team that he was going to play the returning players regardless? I just find that strange. That said learning to sit and be a good teammate is an important lesson to learn for college, one which I wish I had learned before I went to college...

 

[Bob516]

Best advice i can give you is to remind the kids they made commitments for this year. Honor those commitments.

One DD already said she will finish off this season, but has doubts about going back next year. I asked her if she was definitely going to be on varsity next year would she feel the same. She said yes, she is seriously thinking of not returning to school softball. Track has an appeal to her.

What they do next year is up to them, and their parents should respect their decisions. If they say this is not something I want to do again, don't force it on them. If they chose to go back knowing there are still players in front of them that will get more PT because of seniority, support them.

She said she finds the practice (I assume PT mean practice time) not really worthwhile since he gives incorrect instruction, and expects the players to execute "his" way.

I told her whatever she wants to do is fine with me. Just make the decision based on as much information as possible. I told her to ask her travel coach what he thought about her not doing school ball next year. Waiting to hear what he says to her.

 

[Bob516]

This guy must have great job security if he doesn't play the supposed best players he has assuming those players would make his team have a better chance of winning.

He's been the school's softball coach for over 20 years. I guess district rules allow him to keep on coming back as long as he wants.

Does the AD know he told the team that he was going to play the returning players regardless? I just find that strange. That said learning to sit and be a good teammate is an important lesson to learn for college, one which I wish I had learned before I went to college...

The AD was at the parents meeting when the HC said there are freshmen who should be playing on varsity, and upperclassmen who should be playing JV, then said he is sticking with the returning players from last year.

 

[Hube111]

My DD made Varsity as a freshman and sat the bench. 16 ABs all year. I almost prefer she would have been on JV and got tons of reps. Weird thing was their were 2 Seniors on the JV team. Several Freshman made varsity and rarely played while 2 seniors played regularly on JV. That is just backwards to me. Let the freshman get the JV reps and improve for next year.