DD and lack of motivation

[JBG]

Sad to say but it has come to the point my DD is lacking in motivation to play softball.

She pitches and it has come to me having to drag her to practice to pitch. Usually she has an excuse or she has "social" things to do. Came to the point last week we had an argument about her lack of motivation, I basically told her she is on her own. I will no longer pester her to throw or to practice hitting. She is old enough to take responsibility for herself.

Along comes with that...pitching lessons are done. If she isnt going to hold up her end, I will no longer invest in pitching lessons. Rule was she had to throw at least 2 days a week. (excluding games). If she doesnt hold up to her end i will no longer hold up to mine.

I also told her she gets what she gets. If you go to tournament and get pounded, its on you and no one else. If one of the younger girls outworks you over the winter and they end up being the #1 HS pitcher over you...its her fault no one else. (she is quite certain this wont happen, but i can easily see it happen if those girls work hard over the winter)

Sad for me cause i see how could she can/could be. Frustrating to say the least. Am i being to hard on her? Or should i just let it go? I just dont want to have her hate the sport I want her to play it because she wants to.

Heard the same thing has happened to many of my friends kids. High aspirations haven't lead to the outcome the parent envisioned as their kid gets older and closer to college.

I have told her you are not doing this for me. She says "she" wants to play college ball. But i would like her to take ownership of it. Am i wrong?

 

[GTRH8R]

I hit mine with a bamboo rod when she is not motivated.

Seriously, she may be burning out. Let her take a break. She'll come back around when she's feeling it.

 

[CobraAssist]

Doesn't sound like she's lost the motivation to PLAY. Sounds like she doesn't want to practice. Same thing happened to me when I was younger, but it was football. Love the games. Loved the competition. HATED 100+ degree Texas Heat with all of that crap on. I didn't have visions of playing college football though. Let's face it - PRACTICING SUCKS. It's repetition/repetition/repetition. And, if you have one of your parents standing there the whole time trying to help you "fix" things, than I'm sure it can be doubly annoying. DD knows that if she just wants to play catch with DAD, she has to be clear about it. If not, I'm probably going to have her working on her release point or something else. Give her some space. Let her figure it out herself. If she does starting getting ripped, she's going to do something about it if she's competetive. If not, and the fire just isn't there, not much you can do about it. Good luck.

 

[nanotech14]

I see a lot of me's and I's in your post.This isnt about you,it is about her.She has to want to do it. I know what you see in her and it just drives you nuts to watch her not do her best and practice.But do you want a pitcher that hates you or a daughter that loves you,for allowing her to find her own way?

 

[Amy in AZ.]

What I did was I started volunteering to help other girls. My DD was the first one to the car.

 

[CobraAssist]

Genius Amy.

 

[SoftSocDad]

Some high-level athletes say they're thankful their parents pushed them so hard to succeed. Many successful people say the same, regardless of the field they are in.

On the other hand, some successful adults still harbor resentment over how tough their parents were on them, in spite of the success they have achieved.

Then there are those who did not reach great heights, and blame their parents for pushing them too hard which caused them to burn out or lose the desire to do something.

And let us not forget those who mire in mediocrity as adults who complain their parents did not push them hard enough when they were younger.

Somewhere in there is the solution you're seeking, I bet.

 

[JBG]

I like that idea Amy!

But am i wrong for no practice no pitching lessons? Lessons are a huge investment both in time $ and travel time (1.5 hrs one way)
I dont want to make the investment if she isnt going to work on it.

 

[chinamigarden]

Maybe your dd has changed her mind about what she wants to do. Its hard to say, I don't want to do this thing that I have spent so much time doing" Or maybe she still likes the idea or playing college softball, but if she doesn't want to work toward it because she really doesn't want to play college softball, (just the idea of being there is still in her head)

The hardest thing my son ever had to tell me was that he wanted to quit baseball. He thought it meant a lot to me that he played and played well. It did mean a lot to me, but not as much as it meant to me that he was happy.

Time to have a very careful non emotional heart to heart with your dd to see what she really wants.

 

[nanotech14]

Some high-level athletes say they're thankful their parents pushed them so hard to succeed. Many successful people say the same, regardless of the field they are in.

On the other hand, some successful adults still harbor resentment over how tough their parents were on them, in spite of the success they have achieved.

Then there are those who did not reach great heights, and blame their parents for pushing them too hard which caused them to burn out or lose the desire to do something.

And let us not forget those who mire in mediocrity as adults who complain their parents did not push them hard enough when they were younger.

Somewhere in there is the solution you're seeking, I bet.

Thanks, I just remembered why I'am not a Millionaire,I think I need to call my mom and have a talk with her.