14U coach accused of sexually suggestive texts for former player

[02Crush]

All communications about game times/changes and such are done through my Team Mom and she is always in the dugout with us. I know this type of predator is not only men, but far less likely for a woman.

We run all communications through parents. We encourage Parents be in attendance at practices. We encourage parents take ownership of their player and this team. No carpooling where adults are one on one with a child. There are just some things I need to do to avoid even the appearance of wrong doing. This is serious stuff and I would not want any less for my DD. This is sad...wrong and angers me every time I hear about it.

 

[Sparky Guy]

We run all communications through parents. We encourage Parents be in attendance at practices. We encourage parents take ownership of their player and this team. No carpooling where adults are one on one with a child. There are just some things I need to do to avoid even the appearance of wrong doing. This is serious stuff and I would not want any less for my DD. This is sad...wrong and angers me every time I hear about it.

I do the same thing with my teams. Because I have no child on the team I have to be extremely vigilant about it. If I need to talk to a player privately I will take her and walk away from the team while still remaining in sight of everyone. At the first parent meeting I let the parents know that I will not give their child a ride and I do not like being alone with their daughter while waiting for a parent to arrive at the end of practice to pick their daughter up. I tell the parents I will never allow myself to be put into a remotely compromising position when it comes to dealing with the players. Every parent has understood and done everything in their power to help keep it that way. If a parent is late picking up a player one of the other parents will usually stay till the player is picked up.

I guess I'm an old timer. I don't use facebook, twitter or any of the other social media entities that are out there. I don't give the kids my phone number or email address. Doing that cuts off many avenues of communication the kids have that the parents are hard-pressed to control.

 

[Westwind]

Sparky Guy made some great comments above.

Our 10u coach uses Twitter. Everybody "follows" him so he can send out updates to everyone via one cell text that goes out to everyone. Everybody sees the same info. That way there is no one on one communication. He is seventy something btw, does twitter, a website and a photo sharing site for parents to post game pics.

People, Look out for your kids and look out for the other kids. These predators are out there. I sure have known alot of good people over the years that want to coach, minister and help kids be their best but you can not assume they are all good. Sorry, but thats the way I feel.

We are all way too polite and afraid to offend others. If you see a situation where an adult is one on one with a child it should concern you. Make it your business, we owe that to our kids. Tell that adult not to put themselves in a position that could even give the APPEARANCE of impropriety.

I remember the first time my wife wanted me to take a baby sitter home alone one night. It was the first time something like that ever came up. She thought I was being lazy. I explained it to her that I would never be in a car alone with a child unless my kids or her or another adult was with me. It NEVER occurred to her why until I explained it. The same goes for my kids, never alone with an adult. A dozen or so years later this has been a firm rule, no discussion. No exceptions. Find a way to talk to your kids about this. I bet it never occurred to them either.

 

[Christopher F Cheney]

disutrbing if true, an d i am sure there was pleny edvince to support it or he wouldn't off been arrested.

 

[Country Boy]

I am at the other end of the age spectrum. I coach 18U and all of my texts go to girls. I probably would not recognize 50% of the parents if they walked up to me as I never see them at games, etc. I send out group emails that go to parents, granparents, etc. But text updates about games, uniforms, practice times, etc go to the girls. I try to have my daughters send them out whenever possible, but I still feel like a pervert when I figure I send 50% of my monthly texts to 16-18yr old girls.

But I am never alone with them, my wife is aware of my 'texting', and both of my daughters are on the team so I always have 'witnesses. (But I still feel like a pervert some days.)

We just picked up a HS Junior as a new player. I felt icky just asking her what uniform size I needed to order. Would have had a daughter do it, but they were in class and I needed to get it ordered ASAP. It's not easy doing this hobby.

 

[Sparky Guy]

I am at the other end of the age spectrum. I coach 18U and all of my texts go to girls.

The one thing you can do to help protect yourself is when you answer ANY text from a teenage player also include a copy to the parents. No matter how mundane the subject is. Let the girls know right upfront if you get a questionable text from them you WILL forward it to their parents. Make the parents aware of your policies. You can NEVER be too cautious.

(But I still feel like a pervert some days.)

There is nothing perverted about being cautious.