Things I'm starting to figure out...

[grcsftbll]

I don't know if you read my whole story about what has happened with us this year but we had a very disillusioning fall season. We had already been in travel for a year but our 8U travel coach was the same coach my DD had since 6U rec. There wasn't any drama, we were (and still are) friends, it was lovely. But we (including the kid) wanted to play a higher level of competition, where she would be challenged. We are both fairly savvy types. I swear I was born cynical. But we definitely feel like we got a massive bait and switch. I'm sure if you asked the coach what happened, you'd hear we are crazy, team hopping psychos (some random person on a message board accused me of this already, because she got the "true scoop" from the coach,haha). Only in reality you couldn't meet 2 more loyal people than we are. I think there is definitely some team hopping that is just a grass is greener kind of thing, but not all of it. Since we left more has gone down (not involving us) that has let us know we ABSOLUTELY made the right decision getting away when we did.

I can't imagine that colleges will only look at the top 3 teams in any given state. I'm sure those teams get more attention, or more easily, but they'd be stupid not to consider girls from other teams. There's one big 3 org around here that we will probably never play for, no matter how awesome my kid plays. I'm sure there are plenty of parents who have amazing softball players who just don't want to deal with the nonsense that sometimes comes along with those big A organizations. Maybe I'm wrong, mine is only 9 and we're mostly concerned with her having fun and gaining skill. We'll think about college down the road. It seems like there is a lot of work that goes into getting into a college program that the kid and parents have to do outside of the team anyway. Do the work, make the contacts, get in front of the right people. I may be way off, who knows. I'll think about all that later (lalalala holding my ears).

When we left our team, we got a lot of interest from other teams (pitcher, they seem very in demand) and talked to a lot of coaches. I was really amazed at how many of them were willing to talk badly about other coaches or teams. It's one thing from parents; I kind of appreciate getting input from parents on various teams or coaches. One thing that helped us choose our current team was how highly the parents on the team seem to regard the coach. And if I heard from several parents very negative things about a coach I'd want to take that into consideration, at least investigate further. But I guess I expected a little more reserve from fellow coaches who may not really know the entire story of any given situation. It left a bad taste in my mouth for several teams we had been previously considering, that they were so willing to talk badly about a fellow coach to a virtual stranger.

Overall, I REFUSE to be a sneaky or deceitful person to gain some advantage in a sport. I will not do it. I will not compromise on what I believe is the right thing in order to theoretically advance my daughter's softball "career" (it feels so stupid even typing that about a 9 year old). You be YOU, be a good person and good parent, do what's best for your daughter and always make sure it stays FUN. Maybe she'll play in college or maybe not but like you said, she's in 6th grade! She should be having fun and not thinking about college or scholarships or drama. They play because they love the game. If they aren't having fun, when they hit their teenage rebellious stage they'll just quit anyway. So keep it fun, I say

 

[wild man]

I have a pretty limited experience with TB but I hate to say most of what I have seen has not been positive. It seems to me that a lot of the problems would disappear if the rules were stricter as to who can play on what team depending on where they live. That would also build more team unity. We don't have any TB teams in our immediate area but there are some 40 or so miles away but its limited. I have personally seen 4 really good players just quit playing SB all together because of their experience on TB teams. I think its neat to just let them be kids while they can, everyone worrying about a College really seems to me to really muddy up things. My own DD was invited to play on an A level team when she was 16 but it was too far away and it was horribly expensive. I am a pretty poor guy and once they found out about my lower financial situation they really looked down on me and Daughter both for it. I think if you live in this town play for this town. They will only be SB players for a little while, But they will be People for the rest of their lives.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I have a pretty limited experience with TB but I hate to say most of what I have seen has not been positive. It seems to me that a lot of the problems would disappear if the rules were stricter as to who can play on what team depending on where they live. That would also build more team unity. We don't have any TB teams in our immediate area but there are some 40 or so miles away but its limited. I have personally seen 4 really good players just quit playing SB all together because of their experience on TB teams. I think its neat to just let them be kids while they can, everyone worrying about a College really seems to me to really muddy up things. My own DD was invited to play on an A level team when she was 16 but it was too far away and it was horribly expensive. I am a pretty poor guy and once they found out about my lower financial situation they really looked down on me and Daughter both for it. I think if you live in this town play for this town. They will only be SB players for a little while, But they will be People for the rest of their lives.

HS ball and LL and rec serve the purpose of "play for your town"...TB is a different animal, it is supposed to be PLAY THE BEST. The fact that every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to take his rec all star team to TB it another issue.

I hate the idea of anyone on a team looking down on a family due to their financial status, but D*ckheads exists everywhere you go. You just had the wrong experience, with the exception of one team a couple of years ago, all the teams we have been on brought together folks from all walks of life, and I mean ALL WALKS of life, high priced lawyers sitting next to former convicts type of stuff and it was all good.

 

[WARRIORMIKE]

high priced lawyers sitting next to former convicts

Which one are you? LOL

 

[BobInMadison]

HS ball and LL and rec serve the purpose of "play for your town"...TB is a different animal, it is supposed to be PLAY THE BEST. The fact that every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to take his rec all star team to TB it another issue.

I hate the idea of anyone on a team looking down on a family due to their financial status, but D*ckheads exists everywhere you go. You just had the wrong experience, with the exception of one team a couple of years ago, all the teams we have been on brought together folks from all walks of life, and I mean ALL WALKS of life, high priced lawyers sitting next to former convicts type of stuff and it was all good.

Yes, this is true.

Some have said that club sports have become places where white families with good financial resources and parents with a lot of time can escape the unwashed rabble. Or, there are clubs that don't do that. Some really do a good job of bridging the gaps.

My DS got into an elite rowing club in HS. Rowing has a reputation for being a sport for the very well-heeled. For example, the Winklevoss twins are well known rowers, who help give the sport the reputation of being for arrogant rich white jerks who attended Ivy League schools.
In fact, there ARE a number of rich kids, generally NOT jerks, who row. The club my son was part of had a scholarship program, so that families that were poorer could row. And, there were rich families who could donate a Ford F-350 or a $20,000 racing boat when they felt like it, but there were other families who really depended on the scholarships. As far as it being a white sport, I think one of the reasons that club put a picture which included DS on some of their literature is to show they welcome non-whites (My kids are a little less than half white).

For my case, the biggest hurdle my DD 3 faces is that for the past year or so I have worked out of town a lot, and DW has been a bit of a single mom. That limited our choices in TB teams to teams that have girls in the neighborhood who can share rides. We couldn't even have her try out for any of the A teams, all of which are at least a 75 minute drive each way. In any case, DD 3 is happy with her team.

 

[Eric F]

I think if you live in this town play for this town. They will only be SB players for a little while, But they will be People for the rest of their lives.

What if my DD's enjoyment of the game and skill development suffers because she is far above the playing level of the local league?

Having to hold back because 1B can't handle a full speed throw is frustrating. Crushing meatballs gets boring after a while...so does walking multiple times per game. A skilled player playing below their level is a quick way to build bad habits with mechanics, and a lazy work ethic. This is a scenario I see frequently.

Last spring, in her second season of 10U rec ball, it became very clear that my DD needed to be somewhere else, where her skills could be pushed, and she could play against kids at a similar level. Moving to TB was - without a doubt - the right choice for my DD. Not only is she enjoying the level of competition, but she is learning some important life skills about dedication, work ethic, and accountability. She is learning how to play the game at a level she never could have learned in the local league, and she LOVES it. She is learning how to fail, recover, adjust, and try again. Her self-esteem and self-confidence continue to grow. At 11yo, this is a big deal.

Yes, she will only be a softball player for a little while, but she's learning things that will help her for the rest of her life.

EDIT: As for a positive TB experience...In our greater geographic area, there are LOTS of options. What makes a positive experience for one family might be a negative experience for another. The important thing is finding the right fit. We were lucky to find a fit for us with the first team we tried, and a year later, we are still happy. Some ex-teammates from our rec league found their "happy place" pretty quickly. Others have bounced around a bit before settling. A couple will never be happy.

 

[BobInMadison]

Gotta agree with that.
One thing DD 3 has said: it helps to have some "friendly competition" to push her to become a better pitcher.

10u, not on a travel team. She played 12u rec, and made the 10u Little League all-stars. Fastest pitcher, but there were several girls who were far more accurate.

11u, played on a C TB team made up of the same girls who were on her all-star team. Started out maybe the second best pitcher, on a good day. By the end of the season was the best pitcher. She told me last night that was a great time for her, trying her best to get to be the #1 pitcher on the team.

12u, same team. She was the #1 pitcher from the beginning, but sometimes erratic at the start. By the end of the season she was starting every game, and was only taken out of a game if they had a huge lead against an inferior team.

13u, different team. The girl who was the #1 pitcher, then the #2 pitcher, on her old team is the #4 pitcher on her new team. DD 3 is one of two #1 pitchers. They have the spring and summer to compete with each other, and push each other. Oh, and the OTHER #1 pitcher is a really sweet girl, so it really is friendly competition.

 

[grcsftbll]

We played one season of rec after we did All Stars. My DD was so bored. She would hit a homerun and come back to the dugout and say, "That would have been a single in a tournament." She wasn't even excited. The fielding was so frustrating for her too. I wouldn't want to be restricted by geography in picking a team.

 

[BobInMadison]

We played one season of rec after we did All Stars. My DD was so bored. She would hit a homerun and come back to the dugout and say, "That would have been a single in a tournament." She wasn't even excited. The fielding was so frustrating for her too. I wouldn't want to be restricted by geography in picking a team.

Until a few years ago, the local LL would have a mix of girls from beginners to TB players up to 16u ("Seniors"). DD 1's first year in 14u was like that. They had 3 teams, each of which had a few TB players. Her rec league team won a lot of games that summer. She made the all-star team at the end, and they actually had a decent TB team out of the mix. Since then, they have only had one 14u team, and that team hasn't won even one game in the past few years. And, the 16u team is long gone.

For 12U, some of the TB girls would play rec ball, and others wouldn't. DD 3 played 12U rec ball for 3 years, and she had at least SOME competition. Granted, her second year (11u) she was already the best player on her team, and her third year(12u) she was the best player in the league. She won't play 14u rec ball, because that is almost all the girls who can't make any TB teams. Sad. If there were other TB players who would play rec ball, she would probably join them.

 

[marriard]

They will only be SB players for a little while, But they will be People for the rest of their lives.

This is still the saddest statement we make about USA sports. That you have to give up a sport you love because there is really no where for you to play any more. And I am not talking about playing for money - just playing for the game.

People in most other countries despite not having the player numbers we have or the facilities or the coaches manage to play sports until their knees give out (and beyond in some cases). It is the #1 thing I miss about living in Australia and Europe - the ability to competitively play organized basketball, cricket or any other sport I want until I can no longer stand up - even if it is in some D-Grade Veterans league.