Advice-Travel Player?????

[Coach JV]

14U travel- we had a girl last year was the 3rd best catcher and 3rd best 1B on the team.
Fundamentally she was a sound outfielder. She got very few reps at C and 1B started nearly every
game in OF, rarely came off the bench (never on Sunday). She blew us off in our last tournament in the fall. She missed
the 1st 4 practices this spring with zero communication. Friday, I rec'd a text from her dad that she would
play again but only if she gets more reps at 1B. I phoned him personally and explained our situation,
that there was playing time for her, but she needs to compete for the spot. If she is not willing to compete,
and expects an automatic spot, the perhaps we were not the right travel program for his DD, because we
had not heard anything we were prepared to move forward without her.

Sunday afternoon, she came to practice, mom and dad did not give me a chance to speak to them about the situation.
She is a nice kid and team mate, but I have to question her commitment. At practice I asked her where she wanted to
play and her response was, "didn't you talk to my dad?" WTF

 

[alexander58]

This won't work.Try to end it amicably.

 

[mudbug]

I think you handled it perfectly so far.

Although I dont understand about starting every game, then never coming off bench, esp. on sundays.


But dont talk to her dad at this point, talk to her. She needs to make the decision, she is not 10yo.

Outline her strengths, weaknesses, and where you expect to play her, and about how much. She will recieve playing time where she can contribute best to your team, not where she wants it. Tell her what your expectations are for attendance, attitude, etc.

Then giver her a couple days to decide if she still wants to be part of your team or not.

If her dad then wants to discuss it with you, fine if he contacts you, but try to keep her involved.Its part of growing up and maturing.

I agree it sounds like trouble, but if shes a decent player and you want to have her, she and dad might just need a dose of reality.

 

[sluggers]

CoachJV--forget this kid. Life will be a lot easier without her.

 

[Coach JV]

Sluggers and Mudbug- 2 different takes, thus the confusion I posted.
I am leaning toward cutting her loose. She is a good player but she
is not a 'Stud'. I prefer to not have the drama. The only reason I consider keeping
her is to help occupy her time during this 'awkward' time in her life.

One of the rewards of coaching these kids is running into them outside the fields,
after they have moved on, having them approach me with a smile and kind words
from happy memories of their softball days.


BTW- we rarely benched her on Sundays (elimination games) as she is among the top 9

 

[CoachKevin]

She got very few reps at C and 1B started nearly every
game in OF, rarely came off the bench (never on Sunday).

This doesn't make sense to me.. Do you mean she rarely sat the bench and never sat on Sundays? If thats the case then, she should be glad she is getting the playing time. It's funny, most of the girls I have on my 14U team has been with me from 1st year 10U. I have always stressed about playing the outfield and how fun it is. Not one girl complains about being in the outfield, and in fact a few rather play in the outfield than the infield. As the girls get older more and more balls are being hit to them. Last year our Left Fielder threw out 2 girls at 3rd from the fence. You should have seen the huge smile on her face!!!

 

[sluggers]

JV--


If you are a good coach (and from what I've read, you are), one girl isn't going to make or break your team.

There is no chance for a pile of money at the end of the rainbow. We coach because we love the kids and we love the game. We put our time, effort and money into the game. The only thing we as coaches get out of it is the enjoyment of coaching. If you stick with it, you'll end up helping hundreds, perhaps thousands of girls over your career. One bozo like this daddy can sour the season and perhaps your entire career.

My suggestion is to sit down with the Dad and his DD and tell them the way it is going to be. If they don't like it, tell them that your program isn't a right fit for his DD and he should find another one.

 

[mudbug]

always helps to give out rules up front. How playing time is decided, how positions are decided, how problems should be addressed with the coaches,etc. At that time ask that anyone who doesnt agree to the rules, please leave the team immediately.

But you know, she and dad might just not know any better. Believe it or not there are a few people in the world that get irrational about their own kids. Set them straight and whether she plays with you or not, it will likely help her down the line.

 

[3DD'sDAD]

Sorry for the late response. Just reading this. Great advice from all. I had a similar experience last season but with a mother who was also involved as treasurer for the team (she gave up the manager part, but that is a story for another time). Her DD was a pitcher, started out as #1, ended up begging to get some circle time by year end. She didn't practice (was at about 5 all year) but worked with dad at home pitching. Wasn't "part of the team" and there was resentment when she did show up. Bottom line, it was not worth the trouble, hassle, lost sleep etc. If you get the slightest inclination that dad will be a problem, explain to the player why she is getting cut. She may contact you later without dad, but for her to respond with "didn't you talk to my dad?" suggests that daddy is a bit too involved. For your own sanity, and for the chemistry of the team, cut her loose. Believe me, all will be better off.

 

[sagonzal2000]

Sounds like she's hearing mom and dad talk about what dad wants and feels akward because she's caught in the middle. I bet if she had it her way she would play anywhere you put her. Dad has his own ideas about where his daughter should be playing and now she's having to make him happy. You can tell in the answer she gave you that she doesn't want any part of the discussion. Just my 2 cents!