allstar dilemma

[badbrad]

I am coaching our 10U Allstar team this year. I have a player who consistently arrives at practice and games late (I know it is up to the parents so I shouldn't blame the player). She is also taken early from most practices and interrupts post game talks to leave. This part became confrontational tonight with the parent because I told the player to give me a minute I was almost finished.

My plans are to call the parent tomorrow and discuss it with him. And explain that we are trying to get the team to come together but his DD leaving takes the focus away from the post game talk and places it on her and the parent when it should be all about the girls.

After a fair amount of prayer I feel this is the way to go. Any other ideas?

 

[andyh64000]

Is there a legit reason for coming late/leaving early? Failing that (or even if that) I would try to have a friendly conversation with the parents and let them know how you feel. You also need to worry about the other parents.
I had a girl whose parents came to me before tryouts and let me know that she would miss a week of practice (we practiced every day for 2 1/2 weeks) because their older daughter had an out of state tournament. Come tournament time she was my starting SS and leadoff hitter (she was clearly the best option). At the end of the tournament a parent (whose daughter got more than her fair share of playing time) yelled at me in front of all the players and parents because of playing time including the innings this girl got (she started but she was not actually one of my every inning girls you end up with because of LL rules).
Irony was that year we were mediocre and I knew it so i had very balanced playing time (as opposed to last year where we were very good and made a run at state with somewhat unbalanced playing time).

 

[badbrad]

No legit reasons have been given for coming late/leaving early. I am very flexible when there are reasons for it and I am even very forgiving for parents who work and struggle to get to 6pm games on time. I am not worried so much about the other parents (though I can see one or two being affected), but the players. My biggest concern is by coming late and leaving early, they become the center of attention and take the focus off the reason we are there, which is first and foremost the girls. I believe we have the talent to be a good team, even one to beat, but we aren't there yet.

 

[PA SB Dad]

LL Allstars is a big time commitment for a relatively short period of time. The player and parents should be on board with those time commitments and let you know ahead of time what their limitations are. The time commitment for our league includes hosting responsibilities for games in which our team may not even be playing, so the parents have to be on board with supporting the efforts of the team and the league. If they can't do that, they should not play. All Stars is an "honor" but also a responsibility. Give me a kid with average skills and parents committed to supporting the program any day, because with solid practice time, I could make that kid a real contributer to the team. The kid that misses a lot and can't make it to games on time only takes away from the team, she does not contribute. Honestly, at 10U, one "star" player is not going to make or break your tournament chances. Give the player and parents a limited number of chances to set things straight, and after that, let a deserving alternate have a shot.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

At the age of 10U All Stars, the parents do not realize the commitment, yet. Many still schedule their vacations or have the kids in soccer and basketball. By the next year, the parent should know the schedule and not put the kid in so many activities.

If you have not had a parent's meeting, yet. You need to do so and spell out your rules. "Can the kids eat in the dugout?" "Can dad come in the dugout?" (No. And the dugout is sometimes even taped off, per LL rules.) "Can they warm up their DD?" What happens if she misses a practice, etc. Good Luck.

 

[badbrad]

Thanks for the responses everyone; great tips!

A quick update on the player/parent I mentioned. A quick phone call and short discussion showed that the parent and I were on the same page all along. Mostly a bad day for the parent and me created the issue. I believe after our talk he will end up being one of my strongest allies.

Thanks again everyone!

Coach Brad