YOU might be the problem

[canyonjoe]

Being a parent is hard. If it's your first child and they are 12 you have 12 years experience. There are no manuals, there are no videos on how to do it right. Even if there was one you would have to go through the manuals for Billions to match your exact model. Most parents I've witnessed in this sport do the best they can and genuinely love their kids.

I know I could have done some things better but also did a lot of things right. If I could do it again I would have stressed one thing to my DD. That is that when it came time to make choices I really wanted to know what you wanted to do versus doing what you think I wanted you to do.

 

[HunterMO]

With my daughter, I feel like we are at a crossroads. I like to point out things she is doing right and dad likes to point out things she is doing wrong...and daughter wants us to both Then, when we don’t say anything, she wants to know why we are not helping her. Go figure...now I just repeat back the question she asks in an affirmative statement. Now dad wants me to . He thinks I sound like a parrot repeating everything back.


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It is a balance. How I speak and work with my DD now is vastly different than even a year ago. Rather than simply pointing out what was wrong I took the approach of being an educator. It's something I learned watching DD's PC and how he interacted with her. The other part is learning DD's language. You have to learn how she sees it and what cues work for her. It's not universal. What works for my DD does not work for our other pitcher on our team. I've had to learn two languages.

There is a lot more "What did you feel?" "What do you think happened?" "What were you thinking about/focused on?" "Do you realize this action is happening?" discussion in our practice now. As well as much more why in terms of both successful and unsuccessful happenings. Pitchers need to understand WHY something "bad" happened. So that they know how to fix it on their own in game. This approach has really helped DD's want to listen to me. I hope it also makes her feel more comfortable in the circle.

Dad's often get stuck on the negative because they want their kids to be perfect. And often it comes from a good place, but doesn't come out the right way. They can see how good DS/DD can be. At least that's where mine came from. Once I got around that and realized DD would come along at her own pace (and I quit worrying about what others thought)....it became easier and more about helping her along. Not forcing her along.

It's a tough balance to find.

 

[Orange Socks]

I have become worse lately! I think I am just very irritated that the journey is almost over.

 

[radness]

I have become worse lately! I think I am just very irritated that the journey is almost over.

Wonderfully sentimental @Orange Socks !!!

 

[Hillhouse]

I have become worse lately! I think I am just very irritated that the journey is almost over.

you can always start over with a 10u team needing a coach without a kid on the team!!!

 

[Orange Socks]

you can always start over with a 10u team needing a coach without a kid on the team!!!

I'd rather work with the 16U/18U's helping them get recruited. I have so much knowledge that I can impart on the soft minds of these parents. But I'd also like to get good at golf again. The two can't coexist.

 

[BrianTx01]

I can understand what you are saying. Well intentioned dads can be an issue, but how many power 5 D1 pitchers our there had a dad that was easy on them? That would probably be the smallest club ever. I always tell my DD I am her biggest fan an her harshest critic. I think the difference between this dad and me is I shut my mouth during pitching lessons. If I am paying someone to coach my child I am going to shut my mouth during the lesson, but if she fails to meet my expectations during the lesson, she is darn sure going to hear from me, but it is going to be after the lesson. The bottom line is if he is paying you he should either trust you or find a new pitching coach. I honestly even try to find a catcher for my DD so I can totally remove myself for the process. Considering the pitching coach I have for her and the money I am spending....if she doesn't succeed it will not be my fault.

 

[KrisHur]

There are days that I am that parent--at DD's request. DD was a beast on the tennis court and a highly rated USTA player in our region - in 7th grade she was going to be on the HS Varsity tennis team until we learned about the Tanner scale test and she didn't want anyone examining her private parts (me either). In third grade I "forced" her to try rec softball that all the girls in her grade were trying so she'd have a team sport and something social with the local girls. She fell in love with softball and in 7th grade decided to quit tennis as she was now on a TB team and it was too much to play both at a high level. Ok, tens of thousands of dollars invested, hundreds of hours of time invested. I didn't say word but OK. She looked back recently and said I can't believe you "let" me quit. I told her it's her life, it's her choice. I just want you to do something to stay active. She made me promise not to let her quit pitching. ugh. She's very moody on the rubber when it's a bad practice. I've tried to tell her to shake it off, this is just one practice, you know there are good/bad days. There have been tears and temper tantrums but I've told her if you want to be a pitcher you need to work though these emotions, you can't storm off the rubber and into your room. Yesterday she made the HS Varsity team as a freshman and is in the pitching rotation, she thanked me for not "letting" her quit. sigh. kids are tough.

 

[MikeP]

you can always start over with a 10u team needing a coach without a kid on the team!!!

Hopefully a team full of orphans!

 

[bmakj]

you can always start over with a 10u team needing a coach without a kid on the team!!!

thinking of doing the same thing. 10u would be my preference actually, less attitude, less bad habits to break.