When to leave????

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Feb 28, 2022
69
18
Greenmonster's Old DFP rule of thumb: If a post about changing teams contains close to 400 words or more. the decision has already been made and the OP is just looking for validation.

Just move on. Say your farewells, thank the coaches and move on. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you placing your DD and her happiness first.
Ha ha ha, thanks!
 
Mar 4, 2015
526
93
New England
Sounds like you should leave.

However, I don't like the simple advice of some here who say, 'do what's best for your daughter, the hell with anybody else.' There's no excuse for being totally selfish and not considering our actions' impact on others. In general, I believe that a player/family should keep their commitments to a team. You take a position on the team, you stick it out. I believe you need just cause for leaving midseason. 'A better team came along' is not a good one if you've made a commitment. Committing to a team means that you're no longer on the market for that season. That's really all the coaching staff asks of a player/family, that and effort and showing up on time, etc.

But in your case, your daughter is losing interest, and it sounds like you're concerned she'll quit, either sooner or later. I believe in sacrificing for the team, but you can't sacrifice your love of the game. There are certain valid reasons for a player jumping ship in midseason (I can give my list on that too, if you want them), and this is one.

So were it me, I'd talk with the coach and explain the reasons without blaming anyone. Your DD is losing her love of the game (ie, doesn't enjoy going to practice), and finding another situation is the only way you know to relight the flame.
 
Feb 28, 2022
69
18
Sounds like you should leave.

However, I don't like the simple advice of some here who say, 'do what's best for your daughter, the hell with anybody else.' There's no excuse for being totally selfish and not considering our actions' impact on others. In general, I believe that a player/family should keep their commitments to a team. You take a position on the team, you stick it out. I believe you need just cause for leaving midseason. 'A better team came along' is not a good one if you've made a commitment. Committing to a team means that you're no longer on the market for that season. That's really all the coaching staff asks of a player/family, that and effort and showing up on time, etc.

But in your case, your daughter is losing interest, and it sounds like you're concerned she'll quit, either sooner or later. I believe in sacrificing for the team, but you can't sacrifice your love of the game. There are certain valid reasons for a player jumping ship in midseason (I can give my list on that too, if you want them), and this is one.

So were it me, I'd talk with the coach and explain the reasons without blaming anyone. Your DD is losing her love of the game (ie, doesn't enjoy going to practice), and finding another situation is the only way you know to relight the flame.
Thanks for the sound advice. We have a tournament this weekend, I think we'll see how our daughter is feeling about everything after this weekend. Maybe try to stick it out a few more months... I don't know...................
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
It's weird but that is definitely one of the things we've worried about. It's a very small group locally.

In the end I just want my daughter to have fun.

Some of the parents will be upset you're leaving. But they'll also understand. Some will even say "what took you so long" or "take me with you".

Just be nice, be polite. We left a team and I'm still friendly with all the parents of the old team.
 
Oct 29, 2021
14
3
I was in a similar situation but possibly even worse where we didn’t play at all in the fall due to not fielding enough players. My DD had friends there though and while she enjoyed being the best on the team she definitely didn’t get anything out of the practices. We finally moved along after 7 months of hoping for enough players to fill out a team. Now that we are on a better team she is challenged and it has completely reinvigorated her softball spirit and now she’s always dragging me outside to practice with her as opposed to the opposite. My only regret is not making the move 6 months earlier.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
Sounds like you should leave.

However, I don't like the simple advice of some here who say, 'do what's best for your daughter, the hell with anybody else.' There's no excuse for being totally selfish and not considering our actions' impact on others. In general, I believe that a player/family should keep their commitments to a team. You take a position on the team, you stick it out. I believe you need just cause for leaving midseason. 'A better team came along' is not a good one if you've made a commitment. Committing to a team means that you're no longer on the market for that season. That's really all the coaching staff asks of a player/family, that and effort and showing up on time, etc.

But in your case, your daughter is losing interest, and it sounds like you're concerned she'll quit, either sooner or later. I believe in sacrificing for the team, but you can't sacrifice your love of the game. There are certain valid reasons for a player jumping ship in midseason (I can give my list on that too, if you want them), and this is one.

So were it me, I'd talk with the coach and explain the reasons without blaming anyone. Your DD is losing her love of the game (ie, doesn't enjoy going to practice), and finding another situation is the only way you know to relight the flame.
I know exactly how you feel and agree with it. That said, my second time through as a non-parent coach, I've come to realize a harsh reality. TB is a very selfish version of softball. It's selfish in that it's a money grab for many TD's, organization presidents, etc. It's even more selfish by the players and families. In TB, the players looking to play at the next level are playing for themselves in a team setting so they can start V on the HS team or get recruited to play in college versus HS and college ball which are all about making those individual players fit the team and get that entire team be successful as a whole. There's a line drawn in sand between the two and it's not as fine as many would like to believe. That's why many players at the next level eventually leave the game before they finish 4 years of playing.
 
Last edited:
Nov 22, 2019
297
43
When my daughter was 10 she wanted to leave a team in the winter, so we found a new team - simple as that. Coached was pissed - said word will get around when you leave teams. I’ve seen so many girls switch teams, it never stops them from finding a place to play. Travel is mercenariary, try to find a place she will be happy, get playing time, and develop.
 
Jul 31, 2015
761
93
When my daughter was 10 she wanted to leave a team in the winter, so we found a new team - simple as that. Coached was pissed - said word will get around when you leave teams. I’ve seen so many girls switch teams, it never stops them from finding a place to play. Travel is mercenariary, try to find a place she will be happy, get playing time, and develop.

Nothing wrong with searching around for the right team - it's like finding that one brand of shoes or clothing which fit you perfectly, takes some trial and error.
 
Nov 23, 2021
82
18
SC
There is nothing wrong with changing teams. If your daughter is worried about friend repercussions, just have her tell her friends my parents made me switch. also its would be better on the team if you leave before the season instead of in the middle so they pick up a new player.
 

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