When Does Winning Become Important?

[Rocketech1]

You can't teach someone to be competitive, to have that killer instinct, they either have it or don't....I was seriously competitive and aggressive at 7 years old, I had friends who never achieved that....


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I think you can bring out the competitive fire in someone. One of my best friends growing up was super competitive and he pushed me to be competitive almost every day. We had some great "battles" whether playing soccer, baseball, basketball, board games, video games, etc. No doubt this rubbed off on me over the years.

In fact, one of the traits of a good coach is to draw out that competitive fire and challenge your players. Think Sue Enquist....

 

[texas4life]

Im from the time where winning always matters. I am no a fan of the whole everyone gets a trophy ways of today's youth. I understand the no score in T-ball and such but at some point you need to teach the kids not only how to win but also how to lose. It makes a huge diff in life. Let's be honest no one in this world is perfect and those who come out successful are the ones who learned how to handle losing, because you cant win unless you learn how to improve from losing. I think the earlier your kids learn the better from them. To me around the age of 7 or 8 your kids should know about winning and losing and start learning how to handle both.

 

[RetiredCoach]

The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing.

 

[CoogansBluff]

I was seriously competitive and aggressive at 7 years old, I had friends who never achieved that....

Being seriously competitive and aggressive is an achievement? You said you either have it or you don't. How then can you achieve it? And why is this achievement that important? I know people who aren't seriously competitive and aggressive, but who are assertive when necessary, who are very successful.

Im from the time where winning always matters. I am no a fan of the whole everyone gets a trophy ways of today's youth. I understand the no score in T-ball and such but at some point you need to teach the kids not only how to win but also how to lose. It makes a huge diff in life. Let's be honest no one in this world is perfect and those who come out successful are the ones who learned how to handle losing, because you cant win unless you learn how to improve from losing. I think the earlier your kids learn the better from them. To me around the age of 7 or 8 your kids should know about winning and losing and start learning how to handle both.

Kids start learning about winning and losing from the first time mommy's late with the teat. The 8U rec league is not their make-or-break opportunity. You can have a parade and free bikes for the team that wins the 8U rec league, or you can give trophies and treats to every player after every game, win or lose. It's not going to make that much difference either way. I get what you're saying, and I don't mind a little competition at that age. But parents and coaches can take themselves way too seriously with this agenda. IMHO, don't go overboard with the ''life's lessons.'' Treat the kids well and teach them how to have fun playing softball, that's enough. Don't make it too deep, if you ask me.

 

[ScottyDont]

Kids want to have fun playing sports. Guess what? Winning is fun, and kids know that at any age. I have coached from 4-5 T-ball age all the way to 18U Gold, and any player who has an interest in playing the game wants to win. Even before we begin scoring games in rec (for ages 4-8, rec games always end in a "tie"), they want to know "Are we winning?" and "Who won?".

Of course "fun" is important, and as the girls get older, they need to understand that playing the game is inherently fun, regardless of who wins or loses. My youngest DD plays rec, school ball, and travel ball now, and she understands the difference required in intensity and performance for each level. Her rec team has a few girls who don't know what hand to put the glove on, but it's still fun for her. She pitches hard to the travel players, easy to the rec players, and has a fun time doing both.

 

[sluggers]

Kids are interested in who won or lost...but, they are more interested in whether the ice cream comes with sprinkles.

I had to talk her down before she got into the dugout after the last inning because I was honestly afraid that she was going to get into a fight with someone.

It isn't competitiveness--it is looking for a scapegoat. "Oh, if Suzy would have played better, we would have won. If Sally would have played better, we would have won. It is *their* fault we lost, not mine."

If my kid did that, there would be no "talking her down". She would have had trouble sitting for a week. Your DD is blaming someone else for the loss, rather than attempting to figure out what *she* could have done to win.

 

[WindmillPitcher]

I think you can bring out the competitive fire in someone. One of my best friends growing up was super competitive and he pushed me to be competitive almost every day. We had some great "battles" whether playing soccer, baseball, basketball, board games, video games, etc. No doubt this rubbed off on me over the years.

In fact, one of the traits of a good coach is to draw out that competitive fire and challenge your players. Think Sue Enquist....

Rocket: you were already competitive, that friend stoked the fire in you...

Agreed that a good coach draws that out of their players by finding what motivates them and using that to draw it out!


-------------------------------------------------Windmillpitchers.com is a site for pitching coaches to advertise and pitchers to find their perfect coach.

 

[WindmillPitcher]

Being seriously competitive and aggressive is an achievement? You said you either have it or you don't. How then can you achieve it? And why is this achievement that important? I know people who aren't seriously competitive and aggressive, but who are assertive when necessary, who are very successful.

Coogan--you're correct, I should have said never reached that level of competitiveness- in the grand scheme of life maybe it isn't important, but I thought we were talking about softball and just being assertive on the field isn't going to take you to the Olympics....my point was just that I think you can see those qualities at a very young age as the question was about winning and losing.



-------------------------------------------------Windmillpitchers.com is a site for pitching coaches to advertise and pitchers to find their perfect coach.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Being seriously competitive and aggressive is an achievement? You said you either have it or you don't. How then can you achieve it? And why is this achievement that important? I know people who aren't seriously competitive and aggressive, but who are assertive when necessary, who are very successful.

Coogan--you're correct, I should have said never reached that level of competitiveness- in the grand scheme of life maybe it isn't important, but I thought we were talking about softball and just being assertive on the field isn't going to take you to the Olympics....my point was just that I think you can see those qualities at a very young age as the question was about winning and losing.



-------------------------------------------------Windmillpitchers.com is a site for pitching coaches to advertise and pitchers to find their perfect coach.

Yes, I probably took it out of context a bit to make a point of my own.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Which is why I wish "post-game" chats by coaches were illegal.

LOL I have a 35-second timer in my head. I went over once and made a pledge not to do it again.

I don't like to audit other people's lives (or even my own, for that matter), but when you observe a team having a 20+ minute post-game meeting, it's hard not to wonder what the heck is going on. Like it or not, the kids are captives.

As coaches, our goal should always be to prepare them and to motivate our players to want to go out and enjoy success 1 pitch, 1 play, 1 game at a time with the understanding that things won't always go the way we might hope, and that's ok, because it's just kids playing softball.