When do you leave a team?

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Jul 1, 2019
19
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Meanwhile, the NCAA now has a revolving door on the transfer portal.

The attrition you see in the transfer portal is fed by people who don’t understand what commitment looks like (which is a two-way street). If the player is safe and developing skills (through private instruction or with the team) there is a lesson to learn from staying with the team. I think a great question for her to ask the coach is, “what do I need to do to earn more playing time?” The response and follow-up to that question from her will tell you a lot about the coach.

At the time of offer, I tell the girls and the parents that I will discuss playing time only with the athlete. While this works with 14U, I also am fine having the discussion in front of the parents. At 12U I would happily have the discussion in front of the parents for sure. I even tell them the correct question is “what do I have to do to earn playing time?” Not why don’t I play more. Part of the job of a coach is to give the athlete transferable skills such as advocating for yourself.


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Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
What was promised before DD joined the team is nothing like what she is getting. There were a lot of promises made to us, all of them broken.

The coaches consistently say that effort and production determine playing time. DD has also been told to “be patient” and keep doing what she’s doing but they don’t offer any insight about what can earn her some playing time. (I am starting to wonder if HC- who has been known to give in to parental demands for playing time - is freezing out DD to get a complainer extra time)

DD doesn’t want to spend her summer guest playing, so she’ll stick with this team as long as she can but keep her eyes open.


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I see this all the time.

DD and I are leaving practice, and one family stays behind to talk with coach. In the next tournament, that girls is batting 3rd. *sigh*

It's a tough balance. I love that my two girls are on teams where they bat in the heart of the order, are on the field almost every inning, etc. And I'd leave a team if that weren't the case, quite honestly (at the end of the season, most likely). We don't have the need to be on such a good team that my girls are bench warmers. We'd greatly prefer a lesser team where they can play.

Fortunately, we haven't been lied to by coaches at all and our decisions on which teams to join have been good ones. I know that's not always the case, and I have a hard time 100% believing anything a coach tells me as they make us an offer.
 
Oct 4, 2018
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CoachJD - I believe the implied commitment referred to was regarding development, not necessarily equal playing time.

But that's not really there either, at least not at tournaments.

C'mon, we've all seen 12U travel teams that start their best players game after game. And honestly, I'm not so sure there's anything wrong with that. There are teams that are clearly all about winning, and that's how they operate.

I assume they get plenty of practice reps, and that's part of development of course.

Here's something we do, which could help the OP. We show up first to every practice. When others arrive, we're already on the field working. We do that mainly to improve, but of course it gets noticed. By the coach, the assistant coaches, the players, the parents. It's not long until you have the reputation for putting in the extra time. It will get noticed, it will (consciously or sub-consciously) influence playing time decisions.
 

Strike2

Allergic to BS
Nov 14, 2014
2,044
113
DD doesn’t want to spend her summer guest playing, so she’ll stick with this team as long as she can but keep her eyes open.

Don't underestimate the advantages of guest playing. Lots can be learned and gained by doing that. DD found a team she's been with for years that way.
 
May 6, 2015
2,397
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But that's not really there either, at least not at tournaments.

C'mon, we've all seen 12U travel teams that start their best players game after game. And honestly, I'm not so sure there's anything wrong with that. There are teams that are clearly all about winning, and that's how they operate.

I assume they get plenty of practice reps, and that's part of development of course.

Here's something we do, which could help the OP. We show up first to every practice. When others arrive, we're already on the field working. We do that mainly to improve, but of course it gets noticed. By the coach, the assistant coaches, the players, the parents. It's not long until you have the reputation for putting in the extra time. It will get noticed, it will (consciously or sub-consciously) influence playing time decisions.
you need game to develop as well though, not just practice. guaranteed a play that a girl has made 200 times in practice, the first time she attempts it in game situation, there is 90% chance something goes wrong. not because the girl has not mastered the skill, but you need game reps.

I always used to tell players, you need to fail at something 10X times in practice and X times in games before it will start working.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
DD is on a 12U team. It has a roster of 11, but DD is pretty much a spare part. In thirteen tournament games, she's played in only six games (pitched a total of 8 1/3 innings in three pool play games, had five at bats, played two innings in the outfield).

You should talk to the coach before leaving to get their view; however...

During 13 tournament games in 12U travel with a roster of 11 I could easily find 10 innings of playing time and 15 at bats for a girl who at the beginning of the season had NEVER played before.

That is garbage. Move on and be done with it. Playing is the reward for the work - and you are meant to be playing the game - not permanently watching others play the game from the bench and getting some garbage time.

There is a point where you are not 'quitting' but rather leaving a terrible situation your kid doesn't need to be in.
 
Oct 4, 2018
4,611
113
you need game to develop as well though, not just practice. guaranteed a play that a girl has made 200 times in practice, the first time she attempts it in game situation, there is 90% chance something goes wrong. not because the girl has not mastered the skill, but you need game reps.

I always used to tell players, you need to fail at something 10X times in practice and X times in games before it will start working.

Oh, I agree. Huge difference between practice reps and game reps.
 
Aug 23, 2016
359
43
OP with an update: DD is finally stepping away from the team. She reached a point where she was just ready to walk away.

She guested for a team and loved them. It's obvious that she can fill some needs for this team, and she's excited to get some more playing time.

I'm glad she stayed as long as she did, because she learned how to work through adversity. But I'm also glad that we didn't push her to leave before she was ready, because she needed to learn how to recognize her worth and know when she deserves better.
 
Jul 31, 2015
761
93
DD was in the exact same spot as a first-year 12. When June rolled around she had 1.3 innings pitched and a dozen at-bats, on an 11-person team with two other pitchers. It was excruciating.

As others have said, we made a commitment to the team and had a very hard time breaking it, especially because DD was friendly with all the girls, some of whom she had played with for years. But once July came and tryouts started getting posted, I told the coach that we had to go find another team. We left before the last two tournaments.

Looking back, I can’t say anything positive came from staying. It remains the worst four months of DD’s softball life and she almost quit over it. I was very focused on ‘doing the right thing’ but I look back and wonder if I was just saving face with a group of parents I almost never see.


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^^^^ this
 
Jul 28, 2016
18
3
Finding playing time for 11 in 12u should be easy for the coach. At season end, find another team and broaden your softball skills. Dont rely solely on pitching. Not many scenarios where the #3 pitcher gets a lot of mound time. I think back thru the years 12u, 14u, 16u and now 18u for my DD..#3s dont see a lot of PT..broaden your skill set and keep grinding!!

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