What you have described seems to be a very beginning level pitcher with pitcher on the opposing team that has some control and an Umpire that's in between the two trying to make an adjustment.I forget his exact wording, but the implication was "big zone," not "any ball that doesn't hit the backstop." When I say he was calling pitches a couple feet outside, I'm not exaggerating. Several pitches that crossed the batter 6-12 inches over her head were strikes, too. And it's not a case of a very slow pitcher and batters up in the box where it can pass the batter over her head and still be in the strike zone. The pitcher threw a typical speed for what we see. She just had no control, and it benefited her.
There's not really any adjusting to that until you see it. It's also hard to get a pitcher who is used to trying to hit corners and throw good pitches to just intentionally throw bad ones.
For the hitters? I don't really want them over extending and swinging at pitches they're never going to swing at in 99% of the other games. We're not talking about a couple pitches in the river. There's adjustments and there's needing a 55" bat to hit a ball. I'll take the "L" in one game over ruining them for the next several.
I don't think people can fathom just how bad the umpiring around here actually is. My list of umpires that I'll hire for home varsity games is only 4 or 5 people. It's rare we have an away game at a public school where I don't have to explain several rules to the umpires (and the other coach).
You may not care for the strike zone.
But as far as teaching your pitcher how to not throw strikes...
she's going to have to learn how to do that at some point in her pitching career!
And in that situation both pictures are working hard with the same strike zone. One has to learn to get the ball inside it and one has to learn to get the ball further away from the plate. Both learning control which needs to happen regardless of the size or shape of the strike zone.