Too early to worry?

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Sep 19, 2018
928
93
Yes you are worrying way too much and early. You said that the parents think the practices are predictable. You never said that the children thought that the practices are boring. You said, your dd does not want to leave this team. Then why do you want to? She is having fun at 8 years old? She looks forward to going to play? Keep that as long as you can. There is nothing wrong with going to see other orgs. But you are definitely over thinking things. Are there older teams in the Org? Are they successful? Do you look at those girls and see girls that are having fun? Have good solid skills?
 
Oct 18, 2021
12
3
So this is the OPs first post, and it is about concerns that his 8U daughter's team has plateaued? I have two answers...

1. Assuming this is a trollish insincere post, nicely done
2. Assuming this is a legit post, my friend if this is how you handle 8U, best of luck to you down the road. But if you are truly concerned about this, volunteer to be an AC. That way you can directly influence practice and help with the development of the whole team. Also, if she's been on this 8U team for 2 years already, I assume she is ready to age up?

...but my money is on #1.
#2. I would love to help coach but, they already have 4 assistant coaches and a head coach, which all but 1 are parents of players on the team. Don't get me wrong, I do help out with practices from time to time when asked to, but i don't have any say so on what we do. you've criticized me for how i "handle 8u", so give me some suggestions on how to handle it. This is my first time being around select softball so i don't know much about how it all works or is supposed to work. Do parents typically have success when they make inputs to coaches about things they're not happy with or s that overstepping the boundaries? the main point of my OP was to get assurance on how to handle this situation. i know they're young and they're probably not worried bout it, but as a parent, don't we all want what's BEST for our DD? she will be moving up to 10U next fall
 
Dec 2, 2013
3,410
113
Texas
Do parents typically have success when they make inputs to coaches about things they're not happy with or s that overstepping the boundaries?
Be cool like Fonzie! Do not take this so serious. 98% of the time it does not work out. Think about it. You are criticizing the way your 5 coaches are running the practices. How do you think they will feel when a parent walks over from the stands and starts telling them their practices suck. There is nothing wrong with having predictable practices. Drill and kill, over and over and over will make them better. Even 18U teams are still focusing on fundamentals, but it is at a higher level with a faster pace. Throw, catch, hit...rinse and repeat. What skills do you think they need to work on? How would you change practices? If you were the coach what will you do at every practice week in, week out?

Add in some dizzy bat at the end of practices. Have an ice cream sandwich break during practice.

I have no idea what 8U "select ball" looks like. I avoided those fields back in the day because the families were loco. Probably looks like 8u rec league with 5 coaches in the dugout. It's still coach pitch right? We did 5 years of summer allstars with a mix of fall ball tourneys. You know how you mix it up? Let your kid play other sports. Basketball, soccer, swimming and Softball. Parents need a break and so do the kids. The likelihood of an 8U kid getting burned out is very high. It's not sustainable. Lots of experienced parents, coaches and former coaches on this forum. We all started somewhere and there are lots of things that we wish we could have done differently.

Me and 2 other dads(we have Jr's playing in College-one just won the D3 National Championship) are gonna go watch some Tx Gold Cup action this Saturday. We are gonna bring our chairs, and find a nice spot in the outfield at Imperial Park in Sugarland, Tx. If anyone of you are gonna be there, come join us!!!
 

TMD

Feb 18, 2016
433
43
#2. I would love to help coach but, they already have 4 assistant coaches and a head coach, which all but 1 are parents of players on the team. Don't get me wrong, I do help out with practices from time to time when asked to, but i don't have any say so on what we do. you've criticized me for how i "handle 8u", so give me some suggestions on how to handle it. This is my first time being around select softball so i don't know much about how it all works or is supposed to work. Do parents typically have success when they make inputs to coaches about things they're not happy with or s that overstepping the boundaries? the main point of my OP was to get assurance on how to handle this situation. i know they're young and they're probably not worried bout it, but as a parent, don't we all want what's BEST for our DD? she will be moving up to 10U next fall
My only real criticism is that 8U should be about nothing more than starting to build a love for the game and having fun. There should be no "pressure" to improve...improvement will come naturally to those who enjoy the game and want to keep playing, and at 8U some will and some won't. You are not doing anything wrong wanting what's best for your daughter, but in my opinion what's best at 8U is giving them the opportunity to have fun and start to fall in love with the game. 10U and 12U will definitely be more about development, and the concerns that you have with this 8U team will become more relevant at those ages especially if your daughter stays playing on an A-level team.

Finally, and this is coming from someone who's daughter graduated college in May and has played the game since she was 6, it is a looooonnnnnggggg journey. Do not stress over every little thing you don't like or wish was different. You are going to make mistakes along the way (I made a ton), but when you look back, you want it to be fondly.
 
Dec 10, 2015
845
63
Chautauqua County
I remember first starting out in TBall, organizing a league with over 100 kids. It all went very well until parents decided we needed to start keeping score and having Ws and Ls. All my kids were gone and I had no interest in "competitive" TBall and left . Everything folded within 2 years. So, to the OP, chill. What you want and what your DD wants from softball probably aren't the same thing right now. :)
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
you've criticized me for how i "handle 8u", so give me some suggestions on how to handle it. This is my first time being around select softball so i don't know much about how it all works or is supposed to work. Do parents typically have success when they make inputs to coaches about things they're not happy with or s that overstepping the boundaries? the main point of my OP was to get assurance on how to handle this situation. i know they're young and they're probably not worried bout it, but as a parent, don't we all want what's BEST for our DD? she will be moving up to 10U next fall

Some pointers (to add to my above)
  • It is OK to mention to a head coach a small concern like this (as above) without making it a HUGE drama. You should be able to talk to your HC like a normal human talks to another normal human.
  • It is not OK to expect to have huge amounts of regular input into coaching a team if you are not a coach. It is OK to bring up a major issue - you would be surprised by how much the HC is isolated from some team dynamics (especially parents)
  • Don't be in the parent drama. Don't bad mouth the coaches (especially in front of your DD) Don't bad mouth other players. Don't question every decision the coach makes.
  • Don't cause parent or team drama
  • Don't take it massively seriously. I know this is hard but it is 8U and it doesn't matter long term.
  • Take it ONE season at a time.
  • Understand that the goal is to want your DD to play next season. Anything beyond that at 8U, 10U or even 12U is very stupid
  • Seek advice from parents who have been through this before (like here). The responses from those who have been there before on how insane 8u looks from 18U or college are real. 10U is a total zoo as well.
  • Don't coach from the stands. Cheer and shut up.
  • It is OK if you are not there for EVERY SECOND
  • Don't analyze your kid's games to her or destroy the car ride home. Say "It was great to watch you play" and go get ice cream. If they want to talk about it, then great. But it is EXTREMELY likely they are taking this whole softball thing way less seriously than you are. Try not to make it about it about you or your love for the game
If you really can't control yourself or you find yourself getting dragged in; go sit in the outfield (and not near your DD if she is an outfielder).

And actually, relax and enjoy the ride. One day it will be over. And that day is not as far off as you may imagine
 
Oct 18, 2021
12
3
@Orange Socks @TMD @cvsoftball @marriard THANK YOU ALL. This is exactly what i needed to hear. We will skip the extra tryouts and relax a bit. just to clarify a few things though. While i do help out when coaches are absent, most of the time i am the dad sitting by himself in the outfield, i guess i just need to adjust to being the dad who sits in the outfield by himself not analyzing every move or play in my head :LOL::ROFLMAO:. I do not talk or complain about the things I see that i dont like or agree with, especially around my dd. when i mentioned other parents/coaches sharing my concerns in previous posts, they were always brought up to me. Not trying to take the moral high ground or seek approval from anyone here for being myself, just shedding light on how things are for everyone to better understand the situation. I am a huge family first guy so my concerns were only to protect my DD and make sure im doing whats best for her, not me
 
May 21, 2015
116
43
South
There is a lot of great advice based on experience on this site. Those of you at the beginning of your journey should take advantage as ACE_88 has.
 
Jun 27, 2021
418
63
At 8U just enjoy the ride and each year reevaluate where she’s at and what she wants to do. Just because you’re on a better “A” team in the area doesn’t mean you’re an “A” player or “A” team. Go to tryouts, move up if the area is weak but think short term right now because things change quickly.
 
May 24, 2013
12,461
113
So Cal
Priorities for 8U*...
1. Have fun
2. Get better

If those are happening, things are probably okay.

How does your daughter feel about the practices? At the age group you're talking about, lots of reps of fundamental skills is some of the best work they can do.

The road ahead is long. Enjoy the ride. Relax.


*Applies to every other age, as well.
 
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