Struggling with a team. Advice please

[uncdrew]

Keep at it. Sounds like some of those kids need you...

It does.

I know I couldn't hack it, but glad y'all can. Perhaps make it all about fun. Games with small prizes at practice and such.

 

[GunnerShotgun]

It is a rec league.

Each team is separated by neighborhood areas, which also lends itself to some unfair advantages on some teams due to equipment, money (some girls on other teams can afford to play year round, etc). Our neighborhood encompasses the more “inner city” and lower income housing families. Granted not all families are lower income in this area but generally more so than the other teams. Additionally we have a lot of players who come from rough home lives (parents who’ve died or aren’t involved due to drugs, living with family members- aunts, grandparents, etc) so our team is a little rough around the edges in many ways (our pitchers “mound” last night was “the spot in front of the ditch” ).


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So this is the most unenviable position to be in, a rec league coach with unmotivated players. Typically the weapon of choice is playing time but in a rec league your options are limited on what you can do in that regard.

Without the buy-in from parents, there is little you can do. You can threaten them with exercise but if they push back you have no recourse. Winning would buy you some credibility but you have to have the talent.

I would switch from a coach's mindset to a manager's mindset. Do what you need to do to field a team but don't invest your energy otherwise. If you can identify some players that want to be coached I would focus on them.

 

[Rolling Hard]

So this is the most unenviable position to be in, a rec league coach with unmotivated players. Typically the weapon of choice is playing time but in a rec league your options are limited on what you can do in that regard.

Without the buy-in from parents, there is little you can do. You can threaten them with exercise but if they push back you have no recourse. Winning would buy you some credibility but you have to have the talent.

I would switch from a coach's mindset to a manager's mindset. Do what you need to do to field a team but don't invest your energy otherwise. If you can identify some players that want to be coached I would focus on them.

Something tells me the apple probably didn't fall too far from the tree. BUT, I would have an emergency parents meeting and inform them of what you are experiencing and make it mandatory that parents attend the next practice. If there is not an immediate attitude adjustment at next practice I would resign. I despise disrespectful kids.

 

[_MIA_]

I despise disrespectful kids.

Kids cannot choose their parents unfortunately but it seems that a segment of the population doesn't
really care about that because, you know, everything they achieved in life was through their own hard work..that's such BS.

Maybe some of these kids just need somebody who gives a damn about them. That doesn't mean you let
them do what they want (which is probably why they are disrespectful to begin with) but it also doesn't mean you deem them unworthy of your time because they mouth off..

 

[CrazyNani]

I’m coaching a team of 12-14 year olds, some who have played for years and at least 4 who didn’t even know what it meant when they had 3 strikes. I have my 2 oldest daughters on the team and hadn’t planned on being head coach, but no one else volunteered. I convinced my sister and father to help me coach. My sister and I played softball growing up and my father coached baseball, including teams that won state champs, etc and was a well known and well respected coach in the area.

Anyway, it’s our first time all coaching softball and it’s pretty much going awfully. The girls are WILD at practices and games…play fighting, screaming, tackling each other, etc. They don’t listen and “Wish they had last years coaches back” (mind you, last years coaches didn’t want to coach because their daughter went on to high school). We don’t yell at them like previous coaches did but we do try to control the craziness by talking to them.

Since they are acting crazy, not listening or taking direction and we have many beginners on the team, it isn’t surprising that they haven’t played well. Their attitudes are crap…with the 8th graders threatening to quit after many innings and so far, every game. They have poor sportsmanship and tonight after they game, the majority of them were complaining to each another about how it’s all the coaches fault that they are losing and they would do better coaching themselves…and all the 8th graders were threatening to quit, again.

I’m at a loss. we’ve tried being really positive with them and encouraging. We’ve had some conversations about sportsmanship etc and we do actually know a lot about the game. In addition, I’m a high school teacher so this isn’t my first time dealing with a pack of kids.

We have another game tomorrow. With the 8th graders we don’t have enough kids to play. Do we forfeit? Wait to see if they show up? Cancel practices this week and let them figure it out on their own? Quit coaching the team entirely? This is awful and I really need advice. Thanks!


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Take each one aside and tell them how good they can be, how you see them as a potential leader and want to see them achieve what you believe their potential is, but only if they love to play. With all of that comes responsibility to lead by example...and then see what happens.

 

[Rolling Hard]

Kids cannot choose their parents unfortunately but it seems that a segment of the population doesn't
really care about that because, you know, everything they got in life was through their own hard work..that's such BS.

Maybe some of these kids just need somebody who gives a damn about them. That doesn't mean you let
them do what they want (which is probably why they are disrespectful to begin with) but it also doesn't mean you deem them unworthy of your time because they mouth off..

How do you stop them from doing what they want?

"going awfully. The girls are WILD at practices and games…play fighting, screaming, tackling each other, etc. They don’t listen and “Wish they had last years coaches back”"
"they are acting crazy, not listening or taking direction"
" Their attitudes are crap"

I consider myself relatively patient. BUT, if this behavior cant be changed by getting the parents involved by attending practice then I would "deem them unworthy of my time."

 

[_MIA_]

How do you stop them from doing what they want?

"going awfully. The girls are WILD at practices and games…play fighting, screaming, tackling each other, etc. They don’t listen and “Wish they had last years coaches back”"
"they are acting crazy, not listening or taking direction"
" Their attitudes are crap"

I consider myself relatively patient. BUT, if this behavior cant be changed by getting the parents involved by attending practice then I would "deem them unworthy of my time."

Yeah thanks, I read the first post too. Some suggestions have been given in the thread. With regards to your suggestion, again, for some of these kids the main problem may be the parent(s) (like you alluded to when you first mentioned it..) So if that is the case they are hopeless? You ever wonder why the criminal justice system treats juveniles differently? It isn’t because the people who decided this were bleeding heart liberals…

Sorry, but while you can say you despise the behavior someone saying they despise the kid sort of triggers me..The word you are looking for isn't patience, it is compassion..

 

[sluggers]

The more I've thought about this, I realize it's more of an attitude adjustment for you.

You came into this thinking you were going to "coach softball" and "teach the game." But that is not what the players need. (Do they really need to know to field a ground ball off their left heel? Not much of a life skill, really.)

The kids are showing up for a reason. They need to be part of a team and learn how to follow rules.

Stop with the speeches about "sportsmanship" and "teamwork." Start working on that through games and drills. Make softball secondary and make life skills primary.

 

[cvsoftball]

I am betting the players know little of boundaries or what constitutes a team. You can call yourself a coach but you are really a teacher. So teach the children well.

 

[BigSkyHi]

Had three experiences like this. Will focus on the youngest group.

Volunteered to coach a Police Athletic League inner city baseball team age group 13-15. The deal was the police would deliver players from four different housing projects to practice and games.

First game with no practice, 12 kids were delivered. Not a single kid had ever played in a baseball game before. Actually, most of them had never seen a baseball before. The oldest kid was 12 and most were 10 years old. My initial thought was this should be interesting. The kids were given a hat, no uniform and no jocks straps or nut cups.

Then the opposing team arrived. The cheapest car was a Chevy Suburban and the kids had matching bat bags and uniforms. They were an all-star team from different high schools in a neighboring county. Their coach apologized to me because his best two pitchers had been called up to play in an American Legion tournament.

In the top of the 1st inning the opponent had scored 21 runs with no outs. Next kid hit a fly ball to center field for an out. Called time and went out on the field and high-fived every kid. The opposing coach runs out yelling you can’t do that. Told him that if we got another one out, I was going out on the field naked. Glad we didn't get anyone out.

Spent the summer, working with the kids on what is expected of them in general at school and in society. Last game of the year 27 kids showed up. As the old saying goes, they don’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care.