Struggling player - what to do as a parent?

[_MIA_]

Sounds like it is more about you not enjoying watching her than it is about her having any issues about what is going on...and before you say that is harsh there is a reason I rarely go to my DD's games

Sometimes we have to let our kids "fail" when it comes to things that will not do irreparable harm.. (I put fail in quotes because maybe to her losing playing time wouldn't be a fail and she would still be enjoying herself if that did happen...)

 

[efastball]

perhaps an outside instructor would be a great idea. Someone who is completely objective and can be as clear and straight forward as possible.

Her hitting will not get better without this. Team coaches can't do personalized instruction.

Most kids that struggle have bat drag. Find someone that can fix it. Make sure they use radar and launch angle measurements. If her exit speed and launch angle aren't improving quickly, the instructor is not good. (Just because a person played high level, it doesn't mean they know how to fix bad swings)

Time is every player's biggest enemy. But, of course, she has to want to improve. Maybe she just wants to play and have fun.

 

[smallfry9]

maybe, subconsciously, she is looking for someone to make the "I'm done with softball" decision for her?

I've wondered that myself. But, anytime her dad or I say something like "it's absolutely fine if you're ready to move on from softball" she seems almost shocked that we would say that.

 

[smallfry9]

Sounds like it is more about you not enjoying watching her more than it is about her having any issues about what is going on...and before you say that is harsh there is a reason I rarely go to my DD's games

Sometimes we have to let our kids "fail" when it comes to things that will not do irreparable harm..

Not harsh at all....because it is true. And, I think I am embarrassed to admit that. It really is more of my issue.
Sigh. It's just so hard to not want to fix everything and make sure that they don't fail. It's hard to watch them fail. I know that is what makes them a better, stronger person in life - hell, I failed a ton as a kid (and adult) - but it's HARD to watch.

 

[_MIA_]

Not harsh at all....because it is true. And, I think I am embarrassed to admit that. It really is more of my issue.
Sigh. It's just so hard to not want to fix everything and make sure that they don't fail. It's hard to watch them fail. I know that is what makes them a better, stronger person in life - hell, I failed a ton as a kid (and adult) - but it's HARD to watch.

Try and be happy that she seems to be enjoying herself..and if you are able to do that tell me how you did it because I am still trying to figure it out (and my kid is only 11..)

 

[sluggers]

She is not being pressured to play by us. We have been very open with her that if she isn’t enjoying the game anymore and wants to be done, that’s fine. It’s her choice. She doesn’t want to be done.

Nothing but love....but *YOU* need an attitude adjustment.

She is an intelligent person. She has been playing since she was 6YOA. She knows her skill level and where she falls in the softball pecking order.

She is having fun hanging out with her buddies. She is in a safe environment. Where is the problem?

Would you take your kid out of HS band because she wasn't first chair clarinet? Would you take your kid out of the school play because she isn't Meryl Streep?

My advice to you is to reduce the number of games you go to...let her have fun, and don't worry about it.

 

[_MIA_]

My advice to you is to reduce the number of games you go to...let her have fun, and don't worry about it.

This works...lol.

 

[sluggers]

This works...lol.

The OP should spend a day out at the golf course and count the number of good players he sees. Most of the people are TERRIBLE (e.g., @BoardMember ) .

But so what? They are having fun and enjoying the camaraderie that only comes from sports.

 

[_MIA_]

The OP should spend a day out at the golf course and count the number of good players he sees. Most of the people are TERRIBLE (e.g., @BoardMember ) .

But so what? They are having fun and enjoying the camaraderie that only comes from sports.

OP is a she but I agree

One thing I will say is that Type A personality parents oftentimes make the worse sports parents when it comes to such things..

 

[smallfry9]

Nothing but love....but *YOU* need an attitude adjustment.

She is an intelligent person. She has been playing since she was 6YOA. She knows her skill level and where she falls in the softball pecking order.

She is having fun hanging out with her buddies. She is in a safe environment. Where is the problem?

Agree with all of this. Thank you! I needed some objective people to give ME some straight talk. Truly, this helps a ton and brings my micro-managing mom personality back down to earth.