self-depreciating talk in the dugout / poor body language

[Rick M]

I’m not a fan of blanket rules about behavior. These are kids playing a demanding game, they’re not robots or clones. Some need to vent, some need to stew after a failure. You’ll never convince me that one reaction or another influences the outcome of the game, as long as they get over it quickly.

I feel the same way about coaches exhorting their players to cheer. Some kids like to make a racket, others not so much. It comes across to me like ego on the coaches part when they demand everyone line up on the fence at their command.

Every team has its own dynamic. On DD’s team, it’s not unusual for a player who pops up to be greeted with a “Dude, you suck” when they come back to the dugout. They laugh it off and the whole team knows it’s just a part of the game.


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[PJR202]

I feel the same way about coaches exhorting their players to cheer. Some kids like to make a racket, others not so much. It comes across to me like ego on the coaches part when they demand everyone line up on the fence at their command.

I abhor cheering and chanting. It's maddening. Effective? It does seem to unnerve a pitcher here and there--my own kid included, but we really don't encourage our kids to do it, and they for the most part don't want to. They'll do the lemme see ya wiggle one sometimes, but that's about it.

 

[CoachJD]

I feel the same way about coaches exhorting their players to cheer. Some kids like to make a racket, others not so much. It comes across to me like ego on the coaches part when they demand everyone line up on the fence at their command.

I have a few players who don't want to be cheered while they're up to bat. One in particular will send icy glares toward her teammates if they're cheering. They've learned to just let her focus and do her thing.

On the complete opposite end, I have a player who is 100% fueled by positive energy. She's almost always upbeat, and she needs people to be upbeat with her to keep the good vibes going. If people weren't cheering for her, I'm certain it would affect her performance.

As many have said, everybody's different. A job of a coach is to learn those personalities and help facilitate the most effective environment possible for all the players.

 

[radness]

CHEERFUL is MUCH BETTER than it's opposite!!!

 

[Rolling Hard]

I have a few players who don't want to be cheered while they're up to bat. One in particular will send icy glares toward her teammates if they're cheering. They've learned to just let her focus and do her thing.

On the complete opposite end, I have a player who is 100% fueled by positive energy. She's almost always upbeat, and she needs people to be upbeat with her to keep the good vibes going. If people weren't cheering for her, I'm certain it would affect her performance.

As many have said, everybody's different. A job of a coach is to learn those personalities and help facilitate the most effective environment possible for all the players.

I personally don't like cheering, but it works, so I promote it. Energy begets energy. Sometimes there is a teachable moment during the game that you have to choose to let them continue cheering or stop for a brief enlightenment.
All that said, I believe in general players/people need to get over themselves. I get people are individuals and have their own personality, but we are playing a team sport. Maybe they need to learn to push aside their precious feelings for the betterment of the TEAM. Suck it up, Buttercup.

 

[Agcy]

I abhor cheering and chanting. It's maddening. Effective? It does seem to unnerve a pitcher here and there--my own kid included, but we really don't encourage our kids to do it, and they for the most part don't want to. They'll do the lemme see ya wiggle one sometimes, but that's about it.

I have grown to love the cheering/chanting. Have you seen Geno Auriemma's talk on energy from the bench? Basically, if you won't be cheering/high energy on the bench, why would he put you in the game? Chanting is one way to do that. Another thought - if they are doing it in college, you think a travel ball team is too good to do it?

 

[PJR202]

I have grown to love the cheering/chanting. Have you seen Geno Auriemma's talk on energy from the bench? Basically, if you won't be cheering/high energy on the bench, why would he put you in the game? Chanting is one way to do that. Another thought - if they are doing it in college, you think a travel ball team is too good to do it?

I encourage them to get up and cheer-on their teammates at times, but most of our girls don't know any of the other cheers because they started the game late. And honestly, as a program just getting back on its feet, we had bigger things to worry about. It can be effective though. One game a couple seasons ago the other team was getting to our pitcher pretty badly. And we were ahead by several runs but they made a bit of a comeback. When our girls got back to the dugout I asked them if they were gonna let the other team talk to their pitcher like that. It got them fired up and they beat the piss out of the ball for two more innings and run ruled. That pitcher is emotionally pretty fragile so she definitely needed the help.

This past season in the sectional tournament, we faced a team we'd never seen. They were RELENTLESS. I mean, got a warning for stomping the bench and never once let up the entire game. Not for one second. They must have been taking shifts. That same pitcher had done well but they got an OTF homerun and she walked a few and gave up a few more hits. We got down pretty bad and knew she was done, so we swapped her out for my kid. Mine doesn't throw as hard, but she can throw effectively wild strikes. She threw literally one strike in the first four batters. I went to the circle and she was red faced. She said "I wanna beat all those girls up!" No one has ever gotten her like that. She's literally danced to the chants and walk-up songs from other teams while in the circle. Not that day though...lol.

 

[MightyMO]

I abhor cheering and chanting. It's maddening. Effective? It does seem to unnerve a pitcher here and there--my own kid included, but we really don't encourage our kids to do it, and they for the most part don't want to. They'll do the lemme see ya wiggle one sometimes, but that's about it.

DD played with a girl whose high school coach demanded they cheer at all times. If they didn't cheer in the dugout, they wouldn't play. To the point of having the girls bring drumsticks in and things like that. I don't think I could deal with four years of that.

 

[MightyMO]

These are 15 year old girls.

"I can't hit anymore", "I don't know what's wrong with me." "I just suck at hitting right now." "Does anybody know what I am doing wrong?" Blah Blah Blah.
Is it as simple as making a team rule that this type of talk is not allowed or do you address the individuals and explain that this isn't help yourself or your teammates and it must stop immediately?

How to handle another situation: Batter strikes out swinging. As she heads back to the dugout, player on deck circle offer condolences with a knuckle knock and "you'll get them next time" but the strike victim walks right past her because she is so upset. Let it go?

One more: Player failing to run out lazy flyballs (just trots down the line barely making it to 1st base because they are upset at themselves). Make another team rule? Let it go?

I'll address these in reverse.

Failure to run out a pop fly or ground ball is unacceptable, especially at this age. First time is a warning and then it's the bench.

I don't mind a hitter ignoring a fist bump on the way back to the dugout after a strikeout. People need time to cool off. I would prefer that the batter would instead stop to tell the next hitter what they saw during their at bat when possible though.

I've coached different ages of softball over the last 10 years and I've found that most of the time when a player starts down the path of "I can't hit" or "I suck" they are usually looking for the coach or teammates to tell them that it's not true. They do feel that way but it's almost a way for them to say "I know you all think I'm bad because I struck out and I know it too". They need someone to tell them it is alright and they'll get past it.

Now boys on the other hand? Watch out. DS is definitely the more competitive and quick tempered of my three (I'm not sure where he gets that...). When he was little he would get so mad when he failed that he would cry. Not because he was sad, but because he was so mad. He's past that but he is still harder on himself than DD and will pull out the "I suck" on the way back to the dugout. It's best to just let him go and he will get over it. Last weekend he struck out and slammed the gate to the dugout. I told him after the game that he has to settle down before he gets to the dugout. He told me that his coach told them they have 10 seconds to get over it and that was clearly within his 10 seconds. Did I mention he's a smart rear too?

 

[Rolling Hard]

I have grown to love the cheering/chanting. Have you seen Geno Auriemma's talk on energy from the bench? Basically, if you won't be cheering/high energy on the bench, why would he put you in the game? Chanting is one way to do that. Another thought - if they are doing it in college, you think a travel ball team is too good to do it?

BINGO!