self-depreciating talk in the dugout / poor body language

[Strike2]

Agree, good post. Emotions are good. You want kids who care. You want them to hate making outs. Don't coach that out of them. Praise their competitiveness, but of course, teach them that managing their emotions will help them avoid those outs that they hate so much. If you label the emotions as disrespectful and selfish, they might stop caring in order to avoid the punishment of those labels and lectures. Then you have a bigger problem.

Emotions, by themselves, aren't "disrespectful and selfish", but actions resulting from them can be. Showing up an opposing player or umpire, a lack of hustle, and bad behavior towards team mates can all qualify.

 

[_MIA_]

and bad behavior towards team mates can all qualify.

How about bad behavior towards bullpen phones?

 

[radness]

How about bad behavior towards bullpen phones?

Wowzah thats quite a display! Including teammates ducking out of harm's way. Was there a player penalty/ repercussion for that behavior?

 

[_MIA_]

Was there a player penalty/ repercussion for that behavior?

Yeah, the HOF

That stuff happens all the time in MLB...not condoning it, just saying it happens.

 

[PJR202]

Have you ever had the sarcasm fall flat? It's kind of my default, too. A joking/sarcastic response, but I've cut back on it and tend to save it for certain players (or the entire group). I feel like at times in the past, it wasn't always taken the right way. Even some high school kids just don't detect sarcasm well.

I coach LL and MS. Haven't coached HS, but I do have a junior and and incoming 9th grader that both play, and they're polar opposites so I have a pretty broad understanding of what makes teenagers tick. I know when I can and can't get away with sarcasm with my own kids. My older one has a lot less tolerance for my jokes. My younger one thinks just about everything is funny.

The kids in the dugout, for the most part, are good with it at any time. We really have only had a couple drama queens that go beyond the normal occasional emotional outbursts. The drama queens will never change, so I generally just leave them alone and quietly suggest to the other girls that they don't offer consolation. That's what the drama queens want. So they sulk until they realize no one is paying attention, then they dry it up and get back to the game...or they just don't go back in.

It's been a fine line, learning when and when not to be myself with them. But I have it figured out pretty well. They know when I'm being serious and when not at this point. But I think at the HS age, the girls feel a lot more independent. They drive themselves, have jobs, etc, so their interaction with adults is different. I don't coach them directly, but we mix practices a lot in the summer so I'm around them a lot, and as you said, some don't detect sarcasm as well.

But in my experience some of that is just that they see us closer to peers than coaches in some ways. Instructors vs handlers. If they aren't in the mood for a joke, they won't necessarily feel obligated to chill out the way a younger kid does. I've had more success taking a more psychological approach with them. Asking them WHY something did or didn't happen and what they think they need to do to correct it. That kind of thing. Basically the same way I deal with my kids when it comes to other aspects of life.

Girls that age have generally been playing a long time, so they're more apt to approach coaching from a technical standpoint. They love the game and WANT to get better so they don't need talked off the ledge so much, whereas the MS girls are still trying to get a handle on their emotions in all aspects of life, while also still figuring out the game and how much they do or don't love it.

Your mileage may vary.

 

[PJR202]

I learned early in my teaching career that you have to be careful with sarcasm/joking when you are an authority figure..which is really hard for me because, well, I am a sarcastic SOB..

In addition, I have to remember to not curse, and not to vent my frustrations about one player when another is within earshot.

 

[Nimrod]

Emotions, by themselves, aren't "disrespectful and selfish", but actions resulting from them can be. Showing up an opposing player or umpire, a lack of hustle, and bad behavior towards team mates can all qualify.

Yes, I agree that players' actions sometimes are disrespectful or selfish. I'm just saying that when possible I try to approach it from a ''here's a better way to handle it" standpoint than to label or punish it. I don't want obedience. I want insight. Of course, if all else fails, I'll take obedience on certain matters.

 

[radness]

Yeah, the HOF

That stuff happens all the time in MLB...not condoning it, just saying it happens.

Hmmm, didn't have to do that to get into the Hall of Fame


Seriously though, is there no penalization in mlb for players erupting like that?
*If there is a trickle down effect from the top, don't know how we can hope for younger kids sports to clean things up if in fact people look at the top and try to mirror those examples

 

[_MIA_]

Hmmm, didn't have to do that to get into the Hall of Fame


Seriously though, is there no penalization in mlb for players erupting like that?
*If there is a trickle down effect from the top, don't know how we can hope for younger kids sports to clean things up if in fact people look at the top and try to mirror those examples

Report: David Ortiz Fined 'Significant' Amount For Smashing Telephone

It will likely go down as the most expensive telephone bill David Ortiz has ever received in his life.

www.cbsnews.com

 

[canyonjoe]

I don't have a problem with a player getting mad assuming they get over it quickly. We had a team with a 10 second rule. I was never a big fan of getting a high five after I struck out but never took it out the field.