Renewed Hope for Tournament Ball

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Jun 19, 2013
753
28
I suppose this should be over in Softball Discussions or in Softball Coaching but you are my peeps and you are the ones I want to share with. I think the struggles of a pitcher in TB are different than the average player - as we all discuss on here day in and day out.

So I've shared before about my DD's situation. She is a hard worker and a dedicated player but she is not a flame thrower and has struggled to find a team that is the right fit. Two years in a row we have had teams with starting catchers that were the HC's daughters. Both of these coaches thought their girl walked on water and let them blindly call games when they had no idea what they were doing. (Yes I did talk to the coach of second team in depth before signing on, but we've found some coaches will say anything to sign you)

So we switched teams ONCE AGAIN this fall. And we really had low expectations. She was ready to quit after 5 teams in 5 years and feeling like there was really something wrong with her (and I was thinking that maybe the problem really was us having too high of expectations). This time she picked up with this team for last two tournaments of the summer season and we liked what we saw. So yesterday was first games of fall ball. We had a catcher who called a good game, could stop a ball when necessary, who she could talk to about ordinary things like "I can't see the sign where you are holding it" and didn't get push back and attitude, who could remember what 4 pitches she throws and actually tried to figure out how to use them to get players out, who smiled and high fived her after an inning. It was so refreshing.

Then the coach actually watched where her pitches were going. He payed attention to what was working - he actually came out of the dug out and watched for a while. He had legit ideas about what to work on in the winter with the pitchers and catchers. He knew what spin each pitch was supposed to have and could see that her rise ball spun correctly and wasn't just a high fast ball. He is interested in what she is working on with her pitching coach and was willing to experiment with a low rise ball instead of looking at me like I was an idiot for even bringing something like that up. He didn't say "if she would just finish with her hand by her ear she'd be a lot better" or try to make us change pitching coaches.

The post game talk was instructional and encouraging. Not full of blaming and shaming of the girls for not beating a team where they were definitely out gunned.

I think we both feel like a 50 lb. weight has been lifted from our shoulders. I didn't drive home with a crying girl saying she thinks she's done with softball. I came home with renewed hope in her future in FP and in coaches in general. I feel like I could write a book about the years we've had in softball so far - and thankfully yesterday was one of the happy chapters that you wish there were more of.
 

Greenmonsters

Wannabe Duck Boat Owner
Feb 21, 2009
6,168
38
New England
I suppose this should be over in Softball Discussions or in Softball Coaching but you are my peeps and you are the ones I want to share with. I think the struggles of a pitcher in TB are different than the average player - as we all discuss on here day in and day out.

So I've shared before about my DD's situation. She is a hard worker and a dedicated player but she is not a flame thrower and has struggled to find a team that is the right fit. Two years in a row we have had teams with starting catchers that were the HC's daughters. Both of these coaches thought their girl walked on water and let them blindly call games when they had no idea what they were doing. (Yes I did talk to the coach of second team in depth before signing on, but we've found some coaches will say anything to sign you)

So we switched teams ONCE AGAIN this fall. And we really had low expectations. She was ready to quit after 5 teams in 5 years and feeling like there was really something wrong with her (and I was thinking that maybe the problem really was us having too high of expectations). This time she picked up with this team for last two tournaments of the summer season and we liked what we saw. So yesterday was first games of fall ball. We had a catcher who called a good game, could stop a ball when necessary, who she could talk to about ordinary things like "I can't see the sign where you are holding it" and didn't get push back and attitude, who could remember what 4 pitches she throws and actually tried to figure out how to use them to get players out, who smiled and high fived her after an inning. It was so refreshing.

Then the coach actually watched where her pitches were going. He payed attention to what was working - he actually came out of the dug out and watched for a while. He had legit ideas about what to work on in the winter with the pitchers and catchers. He knew what spin each pitch was supposed to have and could see that her rise ball spun correctly and wasn't just a high fast ball. He is interested in what she is working on with her pitching coach and was willing to experiment with a low rise ball instead of looking at me like I was an idiot for even bringing something like that up. He didn't say "if she would just finish with her hand by her ear she'd be a lot better" or try to make us change pitching coaches.

The post game talk was instructional and encouraging. Not full of blaming and shaming of the girls for not beating a team where they were definitely out gunned.

I think we both feel like a 50 lb. weight has been lifted from our shoulders. I didn't drive home with a crying girl saying she thinks she's done with softball. I came home with renewed hope in her future in FP and in coaches in general. I feel like I could write a book about the years we've had in softball so far - and thankfully yesterday was one of the happy chapters that you wish there were more of.

Either you found a bona fide coach or you were dreaming. Hope it's the former and your DD has a great run with this team.
 
Feb 3, 2010
5,752
113
Pac NW
So glad for you guys!!! It's awesome that you're with a team that supports all of her hard work. Hope the weather holds for this weekend!
 
Last edited:
Jun 19, 2014
846
43
Raleigh,NC
I love reading about players finding good teams. We had a few bad experiences in the past as well and glad to see girls not quitting because of this. I remember a coach who literally punished my daughter for 3 tournaments because she pitched a bad inning. He probably played her at most 1 inning a tournament in right outfield. The coach even brought in guest pitchers to sit her. She wanted to know what she needed to do to earn playing time and was not even given a clear response. For some reason, she thought it was something she did….no, just not a good fit for her. The team didn't win many games even with the coach pitching his daughter and bringing in guest pitchers. Some people seems to forget that these girls are not professional athletes, they don't get paid to play the game….they play because of the love of the sport. Glad that she is happy playing for her new team….my daughter has also found a team that she enjoys playing with and don't punish her for a bad play or making a mistake. As a result, she makes less and less mistakes and have gotten better all around as a player on and off the field. Her confidence has grown tremendously which was the main reason that I encouraged her to play sports in the first place.
 
Jun 12, 2015
3,848
83
I love reading about players finding good teams. We had a few bad experiences in the past as well and glad to see girls not quitting because of this. I remember a coach who literally punished my daughter for 3 tournaments because she pitched a bad inning. He probably played her at most 1 inning a tournament in right outfield. The coach even brought in guest pitchers to sit her. She wanted to know what she needed to do to earn playing time and was not even given a clear response. For some reason, she thought it was something she did….no, just not a good fit for her. The team didn't win many games even with the coach pitching his daughter and bringing in guest pitchers. Some people seems to forget that these girls are not professional athletes, they don't get paid to play the game….they play because of the love of the sport. Glad that she is happy playing for her new team….my daughter has also found a team that she enjoys playing with and don't punish her for a bad play or making a mistake. As a result, she makes less and less mistakes and have gotten better all around as a player on and off the field. Her confidence has grown tremendously which was the main reason that I encouraged her to play sports in the first place.

Finding a good fit is especially nice when you've spent a year or more with teams that didn't fit very well. Such a relief.
 
Sep 10, 2013
603
0
finding a good team is essential, even if the team is not very good. your DD can be there to make the team better.
As long as the coaches are fair and gives everyone a fair chance to play, go for it. my DD's been with 2 teams that gave her very little oppotunity so we moved on.
i can't tell you enough about having time on the mound. there is absolutely NO substitute.

congrats.

there is a new hope.
a new hope.jpg
 
Last edited:
Jun 19, 2013
753
28
I hope it wasn't a dream because some of the previous stuff seems like a nightmare!! I'm not expecting perfection from this team - there are actually a couple of things that I would change, but we are going to work very hard at being content and remembering where we came from when we start to see the grass greener elsewhere.

When I think back about a few of the experiences these past few years/teams I actually can't believe they happened - a semi drunk mom busting into the dug out to complain about her daughter not pitching in this game when she typically pitched 80-85% of the innings. A pitcher's Dad who joined the team late and then bought VERY expensive gifts for the coaches, schmoozed the catcher's parents with football tickets and basically bought his daughter the starting pitching slot. A coach who pouted when we were loosing and as the third base coach crossed his arms and refused to give the girls their signs when they were up to bat. A coach who targeted my daughter and basically bullied her, after HE asked my opinion about something and I politely answered, but it did not support his position. A coach begging us to come pitch for him and then at the 2nd or 3rd practice telling her he was going to change her pitching style and lesson one was finish with your hand at your ear. A coach recruiting us and saying it would be his daughter, mine and a #3 and we show up at first practice to find out he decided to have 6 pitchers and 5 catchers instead. Even with all the crazy crap though the really bad pitch calling in one of my biggest annoyances. Nothing makes your DD look like they suck than a catcher calling an entire game of FBs with maybe 3 change ups. And your DD getting in trouble for questioning the coaches catcher daughter or for shaking her off.

Thanks so much to this board for all the shared knowledge, the encouragement, the place to privately gripe, the place to not feel like I am the only partially obsessed nut case, for sharing your own struggles AND for helping us find Ken B.
 

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